Lazuli

Aug 15 2016, 12:17 PM

Nothing I'm aware of suggests it's genetic, but that doesn't mean it's therefore a choice. Is the kind of music or films you like a choice? Can you just change it because you want to? Sure, you could force yourself to watch or listen to something else, but it doesn't mean you're going to be as happy doing so, or it might even make you utterly miserable to do so.

Not genetic ≠ choice.

Lazuli

Aug 18 2016, 11:19 AM

SSj4 Gotenks

Aug 18 2016, 09:38 AM

When we say choice, how much is the person in control in choosing?

They have a choice in how they act, not in how they feel.

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but was hurt over and over again so she decided not to trust all men

She didn't decide not to trust men, she found that she no longer could - or should. She didn't decide to trust women more, she found that she could - or should. She didn't choose to therefore find relationship with women preferable, she found that she did. She chose, in light of these things, to have relationships with women and not men.

When she found herself more willing to have relationships with men again, she—it seems—chose to start having relationships with men again.

Like people don't choose to be hungry; they find that they are. People don't choose to get depressed; they find that they are. People don't choose what's attractive to them; they find that it is.

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It seems to suggest choice, but if choice is the deciding factor why can't guys freely choice to be or not to be homosexual or go between homosexual and bisexual? Are women more in control over their bodies than men?

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My girlfriends friend at least appeared to freely be choosing where she still could be with men or just use men for pleasure, but she decided or the reason behind her action is because her attitude is all men are dogs (which society influenced her). But my whole point is, is it free will choice or illusion of choice? Example: You're thirsty and you wake up, when you to the fridge, are you choosing the drink because you choose to freely get a drink or are you obeying your body because it's thirsty and the only choice you can make is what kind of drink you want to drink?

OFG

Aug 19 2016, 01:24 PM

It isn't reiterating if it's me, so I'll go for it for the sake of keeping the thread alive a bit longer.

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It seems to suggest choice, but if choice is the deciding factor why can't guys freely choice to be or not to be homosexual or go between homosexual and bisexual? Are women more in control over their bodies than men?

From a social standpoint, women have more of a predisposition to come out as gay or bisexual than men. Notice I say socially, not scientifically, as it isn't a scientific fact that more women are gay than men, but rather it is something more generally accepted in women than in men. Being gay or bisexual is frowned upon across the board, but because homosocial relationships between women have always been more common--and homosocial relationships between men are often frowned upon, as are things like emotion--it is considered more "normal" for a woman to engage in sexual relationships with other women than it would be for a man to do the same. Women often have very close friendships anyway, whereas men tend to take a more standoffish approach with their friendships because it is not socially acceptable for them to get too close. That's why you'll often see girlfriends holding hands in public, hugging each other, kissing each other on the cheek, etc. but you very rarely see that with guy friends. Because there is already an acceptance of homosocial relationships between women, it isn't quite as taboo for a woman to be bisexual or gay, which causes men to repress homosexual feelings far more often than women.

From a personal standpoint, I've noticed that friendships between two females are often a lot more intimate, as are sexual relationships with women, and that boils down to social expectations and hormones. Women are more emotional. That's a fact caused by both society and female hormones, and that seems to seep into their personal relationships with one another as well.

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My girlfriends friend at least appeared to freely be choosing where she still could be with men or just use men for pleasure, but she decided or the reason behind her action is because her attitude is all men are dogs (which society influenced her). But my whole point is, is it free will choice or illusion of choice? Example: You're thirsty and you wake up, when you to the fridge, are you choosing the drink because you choose to freely get a drink or are you obeying your body because it's thirsty and the only choice you can make is what kind of drink you want to drink?

If you're bisexual, then of course you can freely choose which gender to date. I'd been against the idea of dating men for four years and exclusively dated women during that time, calling myself a lesbian because (at the moment) that's what I wanted to be known as. I wasn't open to the idea of dating men. However, now that I'm open to the idea of dating men, I can freely date whoever I choose. It's the exact same concept with this girl. She is clearly bisexual but chooses to date women. If she wants to call herself a lesbian, that's fine. All it is is some silly, socially constructed label in the first place. I don't know why that's so confusing to you.