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Is it okay to have a crush when in a relationship?
Topic Started: Jun 20 2016, 02:05 AM (688 Views)
+ Steve
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.

Feel like I have a crush on a woman at a local store and have done for a while. To the point where I delay shopping if she's doing the rounds sometimes just to see her a bit more.

Earlier we did the whole awkward thing where you try to walk past someone but they go the same way as you so you go the other way but they do it to, like 4 times in a row.
Face was red for like 2 minutes...
4 times God dammit, most that's ever happened before is like 3.


I'd never act on it of course even if I had the confidence to but even just typing this makes me feel a little guilty. Not that I'd have a realistic chance with a hot 27 or so year old mother of 2 :rofl:


Justified guilt or is it normal to experience this sometimes?
Fairly confident it's just due to a bit of a dry patch in my relationship nothing more.
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not
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+ Pyrus
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I think it's fine as long as you don't act on it in any way, because then you may just give in to temptation. Perhaps it would be easier to convey this to your partner. You never know – they could be into some kinky s***.

I've had plenty of crushes (or at least, physical attractions) when I've been in committed relationships. s*** happens.
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+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

Absolutely fine. Fantasies are healthy.


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http://www.youtube.com/user/jonjits
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Dankness Lava
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Dankness Forever

That all depends on how it effects you and your relationship. Temptations aren't bad, just action.
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Daemon Keido
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Warmaster of Chaos

Me and my girlfriend regularily talk about people we met in passing that we find hot. We even have our "Celebrity Passes", where if we were propositioned by certain celebs into a night of sex there is ZERO judgement for saying yes because they are just that hot.
A Shadow is merely Darkness in the presence of Light


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The Emperor Protects
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+ QueenTD
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My Dear Melancholy,

As long as you don't act on it or don't let her play you it should be find. Happens to everyone. Usually wears off. Doesn't really seems to strain unless you become to crushy or you let it control your action
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+ Steve
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.

Ah that's good then :D


But yeah no my girlfriend is not the sort I could tell about this she's the sort that would get really depressed and think I don't love her any more etc etc so keeping a lid on this one :rofl: she has basically no self esteem so that would be a bad move.

Glad I'm not socially inept so much that I don't get that...


Guess the guilt is just mostly knowing how she'd feel about it with the way she is.
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not
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+ Clearin
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Daemon_Rising
Jun 20 2016, 02:20 AM
Me and my girlfriend regularily talk about people we met in passing that we find hot. We even have our "Celebrity Passes", where if we were propositioned by certain celebs into a night of sex there is ZERO judgement for saying yes because they are just that hot.
What about non-famous people who are "just that hot"?
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* Mitas
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption

I think celebrity passes are more of an idea than something people would actually put into practice, hence why it's celebrities i.e. people they're never likely to even meet, let alone be given a chance to sleep with.

In regards to the topic, crushes are fine. It's something you can't help feeling, so why feel guilty about it. Guilt should come when the crush starts to develop into something more. Taking your example, you say you hang around the shop so you can be around her more. That's fine, if a little excessive (that's not saying you should feel guilty about it btw, just in my eyes), but if say, you started going to that shop every day and hanging around for long stretches of time, that's when it becomes unhealthy.
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"Next time?"
"Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is."
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Doggo Champion 2k17
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It depends on the type of person you are. If you're a strongly committed person who sees the value in a monogamous relationship, crushes can be totally harmless because you're strong enough to not take things too far. But a lot of people aren't that strong and end up letting their crushes negatively affect their relationship. Just be careful, and always be aware of your own weaknesses if you don't want to mess things up.
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Goku9000
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As long as you don't have any sort of sexual interactions with her, then there is no real reason to be guilty. I've been in two relationships, and throughout both of them I would end up crushing on some other girls, but I never had intercourse with them or anything like that. My point is, it is completely natural to be attracted to someone, just as long as you don't make a move.
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+ Pointer
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...

Steve
Jun 20 2016, 02:05 AM
Feel like I have a crush on a woman at a local store and have done for a while. To the point where I delay shopping if she's doing the rounds sometimes just to see her a bit more.

Earlier we did the whole awkward thing where you try to walk past someone but they go the same way as you so you go the other way but they do it to, like 4 times in a row.
Face was red for like 2 minutes...
4 times God dammit, most that's ever happened before is like 3.


I'd never act on it of course even if I had the confidence to but even just typing this makes me feel a little guilty. Not that I'd have a realistic chance with a hot 27 or so year old mother of 2 :rofl:


Justified guilt or is it normal to experience this sometimes?
Fairly confident it's just due to a bit of a dry patch in my relationship nothing more.
Be loyal my friend. Never ever ever ever .... cheat on anyone.


Thats my advice ....take it

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Daemon Keido
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Clearin
Jun 20 2016, 12:07 PM
Daemon_Rising
Jun 20 2016, 02:20 AM
Me and my girlfriend regularily talk about people we met in passing that we find hot. We even have our "Celebrity Passes", where if we were propositioned by certain celebs into a night of sex there is ZERO judgement for saying yes because they are just that hot.
What about non-famous people who are "just that hot"?
We mention the best bits to each other but we just as easily see certain faults in those same people. Celebs are more glamourous so hiding personality quirks is easier. The average Joe and Jane Shmo on the street are less guarded. If you know how to see, you know what to look for.
A Shadow is merely Darkness in the presence of Light


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Thanks Kid Buu for this awesome sig!

The Emperor Protects
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Helvius Pertinax Augustus
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What will you do when you get old?

Like others have said, it's fine unless you act on it.
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Sky
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One Special Nerd

You can't help how you feel, but you can change on whether you act on those feelings or not.
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