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Online dating is garbage
Topic Started: Jun 6 2016, 01:19 PM (821 Views)
+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

Online dating is a great idea. In theory we are able to use the vast resources of the internet to find our perfect match. But in reality it's all a scam. The only people who ever speak to you are bots when it's nearly time to renew your subscription. And if you live in a small city like mine then it's even harder. You're basically counting on someone else in a city of 260,000 also using the site, matching your requirements and also being interested in you. Throw a disability or two into that and well, I'd probably get better results asking out random women in the street.

If you met your special someone through online dating then congratulations, you basically won the lottery. Because those seem like the kind of odds you need to get a reply.


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EMIYA
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"I am the bone of my sword."

Actually, online dating has become not only a more popular but also a more prominent aspect of dating and finding partners than its ever been in the past. More and more people are utilizing online dating services and the stigma that one surrounded it has died down. Some studies have even indicated that those who do meet up online end up in happier, more stable relationships than those who don't. If nothing else, online dating is more popular and acceptable now than its been in the past.

Sorry, but online dating isn't garbage, that's something on your part. You can't call something garbage just because you haven't been lucky even though everything else has pointed to online dating services actually working.
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+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

You sound like a Google ad.


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Doggo Champion 2k17
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I honestly just don't think you've had any luck with it, Pel. I've met tons of people through dating apps. My last two serious relationships have been people I've met through tinder, as sad as that sounds. Everyone that I know uses tinder or has used it in the past.
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+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

I used Tinder for ages and never got anything. I don't actually have many issues with that to be honest aside from it being loaded with bots. It's the dating sites that ask you to pay up front but then offer very little in return that I hate the most. Which in my case is everyone I've used. Even worse are those ones who use bots or staff pretending to be real people so that you don't give up and leave. Which again in my experience is all of them.

I imagine living in the United States, you have more people to choose from. As I said in my opening post, I'm limited to less than 250,000 people. Basically whatever proportion of women in Plymouth are using that site. Which I would imagine is not a huge number.

Also of course you got noticed. You're very attractive. Me, I'm too plain. Which actually leads me to another point. If like myself, you don't offer much in the way of looks, it's very difficult to get attention on these things. In real life I can get around it by using charm and good manners, but online it's all about appearance.
Edited by Pelador, Jun 6 2016, 03:06 PM.


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* Mitas
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption

It just sounds like you aren't having much luck. I have two friends who I know have used dating sites, and both have done so successfully (one is more relationship oriented, the other more one-off type relationships, but both have had multiple encounters of their preferred kind), both of whom live in Plymouth. Dating sites are extremely superficial by nature, and as a guy, you're competing with a f*** tonne of other guys since every semi-attractive girl on the site is going to be getting multiple approaches. Also, don't expect any approaches. I'm not saying girls don't message guys, but since they are getting multiple approaches, they don't need to message people themselves, so they're going to be doing it very rarely.

I dislike dating sites. I was on one briefly, but I hate putting myself out there like that to be judged. I don't like the idea of being judged, or judging people, on such small amounts of information.
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time."
"Next time?"
"Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is."
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Yeah, I forgot to mention that. You're not going to have any luck waiting around for messages. Girls rarely message first.
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+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

I wasn't doing that. When I found someone I liked then I'd message them with a polite introduction. I just don't have a face that demands attention I suppose.


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+ Clearin
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I've never used dating sites, especially because, as Mitas said, guys tend to have to message first and I don't particularly like the idea of having to message a bunch of people just so they can judge me compared to dozens of other guys.

I know they can work for some people though. Even in places with a smaller population than 260,000. I live in a town that has a population of around 25,000, ten times that seems huge to me :P
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Helvius Pertinax Augustus
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What will you do when you get old?

Never tried it so I can't say but I have a few friends that do and they always get catfished.
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Jet
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Ruka is a dude

For young people, it's pretty much Tinder or you'll just have to try your luck the old fashioned way through connections from real life interactions. You might find a single mum or two on the other online sites, but generally unless they're on the extreme end of unattractive, your average girl has ten times more options than 80% of guys so they don't need to be on there. The stigma of Only undesirable or desperate people use online dating sites is mostly still there with these sites and the often lengthy sign-up process where you have to write a f***ing essay for your profile or something makes it an unappealing prospect for most people.

Tinder is different enough and so easy to get on and use, plus you don't feel as exposed on it. Most people use it so even if you've failed with it previously it should be your go-to if you're attempting to use online stuff for dating.

With that being said you can only control what you can. I'd be interested in seeing what sort of photos you've used. Generally I'd say the bio is irrelevant because most people only look at it if they're either interested or 50/50. But if you're really struggling for matches/messages, it could help to see if something you're doing down there might be contributing to the problem.

Other than that....try as best as you can to adhere to rule 1: Be attractive. Go to the gym, get a better haircut or something. Look at what clothes might work better for photos. I know sometimes it's healthy to vent but the dating game is the dating game. It's not going to change for you, so you have to change yourself to get better results.
Edited by Jet, Jun 8 2016, 12:01 AM.
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Helvius Pertinax Augustus
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What will you do when you get old?

Don't change yourself. Focus on improving yourself.
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Jar-Jar Binks
Jun 8 2016, 03:36 PM
Don't change yourself. Focus on improving yourself.
Same thing. Certainly if you're wanting to change yourself, that means improving in areas that you lack in.
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Helvius Pertinax Augustus
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What will you do when you get old?

While improvement is change, it's not changing who you are. You can improve yourself in certain areas and still be the same person. Changing personality and interests to date isn't worthwhile.
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+ Sandy Shore
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There's no shame in resigning yourself to a single life.

It must be better than constant disappointment, no?
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