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How difficult is it to get a restraining order?
Topic Started: Jun 3 2016, 02:00 PM (506 Views)
Doggo Champion 2k17
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I have a couple of questions for anyone who has any experience and/or knowledge of this type of thing. 1) How difficult is it to get a restraining order against a person? Meaning what sort of proof do you need to provide, how serious do the threats and harassment need to be, etc., and 2) To what extent would you consider spending your own money taking someone to court?

I've had an ongoing problem for the past several months that has recently escalated. My ex has been harassing me for months now, through text messages, all forms of social media, and even on a dating app before I met my current SO. For the longest time I didn't block her number because she had promised to pay me back the $800+ she owed me and told me that she would let me know when she was going to send it to me. I was holding out on that promise for a while. After I gave up on that, I tried to block her text messages, but she would always weasel her way back in and threaten and coerce me into unblocking her. That's the main part of my story that I don't think would hold up very well when attempting to get a restraining order.

As for the meat of what's been going on, she has sent me text messages that range from emotionally manipulative to flat out abusive. She has called me a "c***" repeatedly, threatened to leak my nude photos and videos on the internet, threatened to post all of my personal information online, threatened to destroy my property, my reputation, etc. She has spread lies that I cheated on her, keyed her car, abused her, and raped her, none of which are true, and she has no proof of any of that, yet she soils my reputation by spreading this information. She has posted threatening and/or harassing things about me on twitter and reddit. She has followed me to tinder and attempted to get involved with me there. She stalks all of my social media accounts and reminds me constantly that she sees everything I post (despite the fact that I have her blocked on everything and have had her blocked since the beginning).

The worst part of it is that while we were dating, she cheated on me with multiple people and sexted them. She pretended to be me at times and sent my nude pictures to other people. I have two firsthand witnesses to this, but no proof in the form of screenshots other than their own accounts.

The proof that I do have is my phone record, which has every threatening message she's ever sent me, as well as random screenshots of tweets, tinder messages, accounts from other people, etc. Do you think that this story would hold up enough to get a restraining order? She always finds some way to harass me or cause me emotional distress, and she has even come up to my old workplace to park her car there. She doesn't know where I currently work, but I do have proof in the form of phone records that she would park her car at my work and stalk me on social media.


Thanks for any help, guys! This has been an emotionally devastating past few months for me, so this is hard to type out, but I needed to get it all off my chest and see what you guys think about the legality of everything.
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SSJSC
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No offense, can't this thing be solved if she just let you know if she has the money to pay you back $800 or not or just make a payment plan so that you two would finally get along?
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Helvius Pertinax Augustus
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What will you do when you get old?

If you have evidence (saved text messages, voice recordings, video, ect.) of all of that, you should be able to get a restraining order no problem. I'm not sure what state you live in, so the processes could be different in obtaining one. The cheating/accusations of cheating will mean nothing but threatening to destroy your property is the big thing you want to press. If she's threatened to hurt you at all in the past physically, that is also a key thing to bring up when attempting to get a restraining order.

Disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer so don't take that as legal advice or whatever might get me in a predicament

It should be as simple as going to courthouse and filing a claim and they'll give you a temporary restraining order until you get a hearing for a "permanent" one. I'm not entirely sure the person you're getting a restraining order against actually shows up to court. To me it seems like it defeats the purpose of obtaining one.

I'd also invest in a firearm for personal protection and if your state requires it a ccw/cpl as well because a piece of paper that says "Don't come near me" works so well. If you decide to go this route, give me a budget and I'll recommend a good pistol that won't break the bank.
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Doggo Champion 2k17
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SSJSC
Jun 3 2016, 02:19 PM
No offense, can't this thing be solved if she just let you know if she has the money to pay you back $800 or not or just make a payment plan so that you two would finally get along?
No because she isn't harassing me because of the money. It's an unrelated issue. And she won't pay me back; she's refused multiple times.

@Jar-Jar: Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely going to attempt to get one. Whether or not it actually works out is up to the police or court house, I guess. I don't really fear for my life, but I do fear for my emotional state. I don't know how much longer I can handle the borderline stalking and harassment. I also fear for my reputation because not only has she already tarnished it, but she's threatened to leak all of my personal information and nude photos on the internet, which is really scary.
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+ Steve
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.

Yeah if you have all that evidence I can't see why you wouldn't be granted one.

You may have to live with her retaliating by leaking information and such but to me that'd be a worthy price to pay, the emotional stress isn't worth it.
Consider your own well being, maybe your reputation will take a hit but your friends and presumably your SO know you.
People will realize that she's just a c*** herself, doubt they'll believe everything she has to say if you were to reveal the horrible messages she's sent you.

Plus you never know, maybe you're not the only one and someone else might speak out.
Obsessive people like this don't really give up often unfortunately. It might be dirty but at least you'll better be able to move on.


Alternatively you could just threaten her with legal action, send her screenshots of her own messages and tell her to f*** off.
She doesn't have evidence for the other thing you mentioned in another topic so she wouldn't really have a leg to stand on, it would be evident that she's obsessive and crazy though.
If you can seem confident and make her fear what you might do it could work out without anyone else getting involved.
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not
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SSJSC
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ObsessiveFanGirl
Jun 3 2016, 02:29 PM
SSJSC
Jun 3 2016, 02:19 PM
No offense, can't this thing be solved if she just let you know if she has the money to pay you back $800 or not or just make a payment plan so that you two would finally get along?
No because she isn't harassing me because of the money. It's an unrelated issue. And she won't pay me back; she's refused multiple times.

@Jar-Jar: Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely going to attempt to get one. Whether or not it actually works out is up to the police or court house, I guess. I don't really fear for my life, but I do fear for my emotional state. I don't know how much longer I can handle the borderline stalking and harassment. I also fear for my reputation because not only has she already tarnished it, but she's threatened to leak all of my personal information and nude photos on the internet, which is really scary.
Tell her one more time that if she can't work out a payment plan with you, you won't be her friend. Then listen to her reaction. If she doesn't and want to harass you like that, then yeah get restraining order.
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Goku9000
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You just need evidence to prove that they are in fact harassing you, text messages are good evidence.
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Master Gohan
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SSJSC
Jun 3 2016, 05:52 PM
ObsessiveFanGirl
Jun 3 2016, 02:29 PM
SSJSC
Jun 3 2016, 02:19 PM
No offense, can't this thing be solved if she just let you know if she has the money to pay you back $800 or not or just make a payment plan so that you two would finally get along?
No because she isn't harassing me because of the money. It's an unrelated issue. And she won't pay me back; she's refused multiple times.

@Jar-Jar: Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely going to attempt to get one. Whether or not it actually works out is up to the police or court house, I guess. I don't really fear for my life, but I do fear for my emotional state. I don't know how much longer I can handle the borderline stalking and harassment. I also fear for my reputation because not only has she already tarnished it, but she's threatened to leak all of my personal information and nude photos on the internet, which is really scary.
Tell her one more time that if she can't work out a payment plan with you, you won't be her friend. Then listen to her reaction. If she doesn't and want to harass you like that, then yeah get restraining order.
She said it's not about the money and it's definitely not about being friends.
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