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What's wrong with me? (Can't make eye contact)
Topic Started: Jun 2 2016, 08:40 PM (939 Views)
Doggo Champion 2k17
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I've probably had this problem for a while now, but I've only started really realizing it within the past few months to a year. When someone else is speaking to me, I can easily make eye contact with them, but I've noticed that when I start speaking to them, it's really hard for me to maintain eye contact. I find myself looking away or looking around--anything to keep me from looking at them. I even do this with my boyfriend, I've noticed, and we're very comfortable with each other.

I've also had trouble making eye contact with my parents for the longest time (both while I'm talking and when they're talking). I just wonder what could possibly be wrong with me. It gives me anxiety to think that maybe they notice and think I'm being rude or something. Is this worth worrying about or going to therapy for?
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+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

Well it's a symptom of autism. But I don't know if you have that.


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Mihawk
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No. A lot of people make only occasional eye contact when speaking. It's a method of expressing yourself that doesn't seem to always make sense like head or hand movements.

As long as you aren't avoiding it completely and making it when listening.

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...

ObsessiveFanGirl
Jun 2 2016, 08:40 PM
I've probably had this problem for a while now, but I've only started really realizing it within the past few months to a year. When someone else is speaking to me, I can easily make eye contact with them, but I've noticed that when I start speaking to them, it's really hard for me to maintain eye contact. I find myself looking away or looking around--anything to keep me from looking at them. I even do this with my boyfriend, I've noticed, and we're very comfortable with each other.

I've also had trouble making eye contact with my parents for the longest time (both while I'm talking and when they're talking). I just wonder what could possibly be wrong with me. It gives me anxiety to think that maybe they notice and think I'm being rude or something. Is this worth worrying about or going to therapy for?
this is usual.... i have this problem too...


íííííííguess this means we are less self condifence

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+ Pyrus
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I do the same thing. I don't like looking at people while I'm talking.
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+ Steve
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.

Well I do have issues with making eye contact anyway but I've never really understood why you're obligated to?

It doesn't make anyone hear you better, so long as you're not facing the complete opposite direction why does it matter...?


Anyway issues like autism aside perhaps it's something like becoming out of touch with that aspect of socializing because you're used to not having to make eye contact, such as on here where you can speak completely freely and have no real anxiety issues to deal with.

It certainly feels very comfortable, look at all this I've just typed.
In real life? I'd never be able to talk this smoothly, stutters, gaps, losing train of thought easily, mumbling.

Could be something along those lines? Not that you live on the internet but generally speaking people don't interact as much socially in person these days, bound to have some effects on how people operate.
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not
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* Mitas
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption

I have eye contact issues too. My default setting is to look elsewhere when talking or listening and then I'll think "ok, I should make eye contact" and then I'll do so for a second or two and then look away again. I honestly physically can't keep eye contact with someone for longer than say, 4 or 5 seconds. I get extremely uncomfortable.

Since you can do it whilst listening, I wouldn't say anything's wrong with you. Maybe you're just focusing on what you're saying too much, or not confident enough in the worth of what you're saying.
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Buuberries
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No

Quote:
 
then I'll do so for a second or two and then look away again. I honestly physically can't keep eye contact with someone for longer than say, 4 or 5 seconds. I get extremely uncomfortable.
that's what it's supposed to be anyway, otherwise it counts as staring.

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Well I do have issues with making eye contact anyway but I've never really understood why you're obligated to?
body language..........
¯\(°_o)/¯
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Goku9000
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Pelador
Jun 2 2016, 08:41 PM
Well it's a symptom of autism. But I don't know if you have that.
It is a symptom of autism, but it's also social anxiety. Up until like 2 years ago, I couldn't make direct eye contact with anybody, and that was because I went to a school where everyone was like "Don't look me in my eyes bro, I f*** you up", but when I moved to a more suburban area people had more respect, I actually learned that eye contact was a form of respect and not a signal of fighting lol.
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Buuberries
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No

lmao yea there were loads of kids like that back at school.
¯\(°_o)/¯
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Sky
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One Special Nerd

I'm more comfortable when people make occasional eye contact. If they're looking at me the entire time, it kinda makes me uncomfortable... As if they're staring into my soul and judging me. Perhaps that's because mainly teachers do that, especially the harsher ones in my experience.

I look at the person, but I also sometimes look away. I can stare my boyfriend or family straight in the eye though... But I tend to laugh if that happens.
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+ Sandy Shore
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I imagine that people who attempt to maintain unbroken eye contact lack self-awareness. It seems they're either doing so because they've been taught that it shows their interest, thus they don't recognise how uncomfortable it makes people—and therefore also makes them seem false to me—or they have a genuine vacancy about them.

That, or they want to fight you.
Edited by Sandy Shore, Jun 2 2016, 10:30 PM.
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+ Steve
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.

Buuberries
Jun 2 2016, 09:35 PM
body language..........
It makes absolutely no difference to a conversation though really.

In what way does it enhance one? Aside from when someone is say giving a speech, obviously looking down at the ground doesn't seem very enthusiastic. But you can be enthusiastic otherwise without making eye contact.


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That, or they want to fight you.


Definitely get that vibe sometimes. Why do we enforce that you need to make eye contact? Kinda weird considering other primates challenge each other with it.
Don't look a gorilla in the eyes unless you plan to die that day...
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not
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+ Emmeth
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Completely normal in my opinion. I've been struggling with this for as long as I can remember. I've become much better after actually getting a social life outside the internet, but I imagine I'll struggle with it my entire life.
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Billa
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It can be a signal of dishonest. Just a thought

People tend to avoid looking straight into the eyes when they hide or lie about something. They emphasize so much on the "story" they say with expressive face reactions & body language but the eyes always conveys the truth

I think this applies exclusively to girls with superiority/inferiority complexes. You can never know whats going on in their head, heart or goddamn actions. But the eye contacts (with family/friends/bf/husband) during long conversations can actually give small hints of their actual characters

My 2 cents
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