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Liking someone who isn't single.
Topic Started: Jan 29 2016, 03:23 AM (1,423 Views)
+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

There's a young lady at Dungeons and Dragons I am attracted to but she is not single and we have never spoke to each other. However I have noticed her glancing at me from time to time. Which might suggest she does find me somewhat intriguing or dare I say it, attractive.

Now what is one to do in such a situation? I would be a real dick to try to steal her from this guy. As if that would even be possible. Besides I don't even know her character. She might be completely insufferable. Such is the nature of being somewhat infatuated that it does not seem to matter. Hopefully I discover that she is a total b*** and I can move on.



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Dankness Lava
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Dankness Forever

All the good looking hosts where i work are dating. Freaking eye candy man
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+ Pyrus
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Go after her. You never know – her man might be a real dick, and she may be unhappy but hasn't left him yet for one reason or another, and you may just be the push she needs to do so.
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Doggo Champion 2k17
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I have absolutely no sympathy for people who go after people who are not single. It's disgusting to me, mostly because I've been cheated on multiple times even though the person knew that we were dating. I think it's a horrible quality to have when you go after someone who is already dating another person. Just my two cents.
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+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

I would never do that. I was just a theoretical idea because I'm stuck for what to do. Honestly the best option seems to be to do nothing.


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Buuberries
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No

i think just about everyone ive been interested in over the past yr and a bit have been taken. What's worse is that it was all mutual.
¯\(°_o)/¯
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+ Pyrus
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It's more morally justifiable to "steal" someone who's being taken for granted and has very little if any emotional attachment at all to their beau, in my opinion. It's not necessary "stealing," more like "releasing." The person they're with obviously doesn't treat them right, and for whatever reason the girl (or guy, but just roll with it here) hasn't left him yet. I don't think that's a wickedly terrible thing to enact. Now, if this girl is clearly happy with her mate, and you still try and seduce her at every turn, then that's not something I openly endorse; it's not like I haven't been cheated on before either.

For instance, a married woman who doesn't get any attention from her husband and the marriage is clearly there in paper form only. If she chooses to accept your advances, I don't see a big problem with that, but perhaps that's getting into more of the cheating territory than simply working up to that point.
Edited by Pyrus, Jan 29 2016, 04:16 AM.
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+ Pelador
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Crazy Awesome Legend

They seemed all right to me.


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Mihawk
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Pelador
 
However I have noticed her glancing at me from time to time. Which might suggest she does find me somewhat intriguing or dare I say it, attractive.

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"Pelador"
 
I would be a real dick to try to steal her from this guy.

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* Mitas
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption

I can see Pyrus' point and agree with it to an extent. However, I would still put the onus on the person in a s***ty relationship to end that relationship before entering into another one.

In regards to Pel's situation, I think you're overthinking things. I mean, you said you haven't even talked to her and all you have to go on is that she's looked at you. That can be a sign that she's interested, but it can also be a sign that she just looked at you. Heck, if she does find you attractive, people in relationships can look at someone they find attractive. That's just natural. The fact that she hasn't even struck up a conversation could mean that she finds you attractive but is in a happy relationship. Or maybe she's one of those people who just looks around the room, looking at everyone and everything, taking things in, and because you like her you assume that she's specifically looking at you.

Like I said, a person looking at you a few times is not a sign that they like you, and if they have a boyfriend, the chances of that sign are even lower. However, if you do like her, think she likes you, and aren't put off by the fact she's taken, then you have to talk to her first.
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time."
"Next time?"
"Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is."
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dbzfangirl
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Girl's opinion on this matter is as follows.
1. If she looked at you, it doesn't mean she likes you, at all!!!! Maybe there was a clock behind you and she looked to see what time it is.
2. If there is no ring, then there is no obligation for monogamy. Girls are simple when it comes to raw male power. They like it , and like it a lot when more than one male want her. Unless she is a total weirdo. EVERYBODY LIKES ATTENTION, unless they are defective in terms of attractiveness or something else.
3. Those who say something like "I have absolutely no sympathy for people who go after people who are not single" never experienced this, have low self esteem and therefore hide behind absolutely useless text.
4. You can't "steal".... women are not objects....just because you have this dumb idea in your head, there is no way you will have the balls to seduce her.
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Darker
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I'd say you're right with what your best choice is. Don't do nothing, or at least, talk to her, become friends and stuff. You two probably have a lot in common. You don't need our opinion for this, you can do it. You've got the touch!
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Piccolo: Just how many people have you sacrificed?!

Cell: Sacrifice? Hmph, rubbish! On the contrary, it is an honor to become a fraction of my power.
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* Mitas
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption

dbzfangirl
Jan 29 2016, 12:57 PM
Girl's opinion on this matter is as follows.
1. If she looked at you, it doesn't mean she likes you, at all!!!! Maybe there was a clock behind you and she looked to see what time it is.
2. If there is no ring, then there is no obligation for monogamy. Girls are simple when it comes to raw male power. They like it , and like it a lot when more than one male want her. Unless she is a total weirdo. EVERYBODY LIKES ATTENTION, unless they are defective in terms of attractiveness or something else.
3. Those who say something like "I have absolutely no sympathy for people who go after people who are not single" never experienced this, have low self esteem and therefore hide behind absolutely useless text.
4. You can't "steal".... women are not objects....just because you have this dumb idea in your head, there is no way you will have the balls to seduce her.
Just because you are a girl, doesn't mean you speak for all girls, so number 2 is out. Pretty sure you don't speak for all humans either, so there goes number 3. Number 4 started strongly, but ending with a personal attack was a bad move. Bye, bye number 4.

1/4 isn't bad though.
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time."
"Next time?"
"Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is."
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Copy_Ninja
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Novacane for the pain

dbzfangirl
Jan 29 2016, 12:57 PM
Girl's opinion on this matter is as follows.
1. If she looked at you, it doesn't mean she likes you, at all!!!! Maybe there was a clock behind you and she looked to see what time it is.
2. If there is no ring, then there is no obligation for monogamy. Girls are simple when it comes to raw male power. They like it , and like it a lot when more than one male want her. Unless she is a total weirdo. EVERYBODY LIKES ATTENTION, unless they are defective in terms of attractiveness or something else.
3. Those who say something like "I have absolutely no sympathy for people who go after people who are not single" never experienced this, have low self esteem and therefore hide behind absolutely useless text.
4. You can't "steal".... women are not objects....just because you have this dumb idea in your head, there is no way you will have the balls to seduce her.
This post was a roller coaster from start to finish.

I mean 1 is true, looks and stuff can mean nothing and you shouldn't put too much stock in to them. Two is ridiculous frankly. If you're dating someone there is certainly an expectation of monogamy, that's kind of the point. Unless they've agreed to an open relationship before, you are expected to not be sleeping around with other people. What even is raw male power? I don't even know what your point is when it comes to the attention thing. 3 is weird too, never experienced what? Saying that you don't think people should pursue someone in a relationship automatically has low self esteem? How does that even make sense. Then 4 is true, women aren't objects to be claimed. But then the last part doesn't really connect to that, plenty of guys treat women like s*** but are still capable of getting girls.

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+ Clearin
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I think there's some kind of psychological effect involved in liking someone who's already in a relationship. Something about "proof" that the person is desirable...it's been a while since I heard that, but it makes sense.

That said, you shouldn't go after anyone who's already in a relationship for a number of reasons:
1) The stronger you let your feelings get, the more likely you are to be heartbroken. Sure not all women are happy in relationships, but I'd say the majority are not willing to get out of a long term relationship to try something with someone they hardly know.
2) If you make moves and the boyfriend finds out, you might be in trouble
3) She herself might try to distance herself away from you in hopes it'll make you stop trying
4) Assuming she knows you know she has a boyfriend, you might get a bad rep for being a guy who tries to make girls cheat on their boyfriends.

Also maybe she keeps looking at you because you keep staring at her :P
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