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| Why do people not want to have kids? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 9 2015, 04:42 AM (1,110 Views) | |
| + Steve | Sep 9 2015, 04:42 AM Post #1 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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I don't mean everyone should have kids, god no. Population is insane as it is but...why do people not want to have kids? As in even though we're biologically programmed to want to reproduce and basically exist to do so...why do some people not want to? A lot of people even. I mean not have kids ever not none until a certain age. Society doesn't really pressure people in to not having kids so I don't think that's the issue. Compared to other species it's odd how much we fight or veer away from our instincts. |
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| + QueenTD | Sep 9 2015, 05:03 AM Post #2 |
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My Dear Melancholy,
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Real answer: Seeing how messed up the Earth is. Some people feel as if they that don't really want to raise a child in a world where's there is a high chance depending on your area of your child being targeted for anything. It's depressing honestly Imo. I also know that people are self aware that they'll be deadbeat dads or even moms so they don't want the burden of being a horrible parent. Others feel as though raising a child means your life is over and parenthood is 24/7. You get the few who believe that raising a child would endanger the child as they're even a bad parent or just poor. If you take consideration of those things that I said. I'm not surprised that some refused to have kids. They're saving a life by not making life. I understand you might say "Well why don't they give baby a chance to live". That's just a chance you don't want to get . I believe Oprah Winfrey had a guest on her show where in her African village they were raping, killing, or very gruesome damages (the guest don't have an arm) done to the women. They were doing it to the babies too. Now would anyone logically want to put their child through such a hell? For the self aware bad parent who knows he'll or she'll suck as a parent. You can argue adoption or sending to another family member. However some just can't send their baby off somewhere with someone else even if it's better for the baby. If you're looking for a science based reasoning. I'm sure other members can put in the work. But could be our instincts saying it's an unsuitable environment to raise a child or there's overpopulation so there's no need to reproduce at the time. More details can be put out such as people with STDs who don't want the child to inherit the STDs or teachers who teach over 100 students every year so they don't need kids. Edited by QueenTD, Sep 9 2015, 05:08 AM.
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| EMIYA | Sep 9 2015, 05:33 AM Post #3 |
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"I am the bone of my sword."
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Economic issues can keep people from having kids, personal desires, you name it. In the past, we had to have children and a lot of them to keep our species surviving. Our rate of mortality was just too high not have multiple births. This is exactly why third world countries have such high birth rates because their mortality rate is so high. It's slowly but surely become a huge problem on the opposite end of the scale as well such as the USA and most definitely places like China where the high birthrates have helped to overload the population due to much lower mortality rates. Now a days, when it comes to first world countries with high populations and low mortality rates, having kids is almost a negative impact on society I would say. In the past not only did we need it for survival but kids were often seen as assets to the family. They were specifically born not to make you feel the joys of being a parent but to actually help with the family work once they got to a certain age and there we also didn't treat them as anything more than assets of the family. We weren't nearly as emotionally invested in our children in that late past than we are today. Therefore there was still an economical and familial purpose for having children along with that high mortality rate. Now a days though, we're far more emotionally invested in in actually raising children but we also understand that we don't have the essential assets to raise children now. For example. 1.) Raising children causes economic issues and consumption as we now have another person whom we have to support yet does not help support in return. 2.) Children now in such countries as the USA and what not no longer act as assets for the family and are almost entire dependent on the family itself. This leads to that first point where instead of being able to balance out the economic budge, parents are forced to spend it on their children. 3.) Children cause decreases in relationship happiness. There's so much stress and issues with raising children. In the past, children were needed. Today, children are wanted and among the massive amounts of stresses that come from having and raising children, we also now finally have the ability to do what we wish with our own time and are no longer forced into the traditions of the past. Same reason why people are getting married later on than life than in the past. We have so many opportunities now that its a lot easier for us to wait. |
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Sep 9 2015, 05:33 AM Post #4 |
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Because kids are annoying, require a lot of time and effort, are sticky and gross most the time and they cost a lot of money. |
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| + Ginyu | Sep 9 2015, 05:39 AM Post #5 |
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Leve Feyenoord 1!
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I never get the "kids are annoying" argument. Simply because it isnt true. You just focus kn the loud kids that want your attention, the majority of kids are fun. Besides ehen It's your own kid, It's different. Also I can't take the sticky and gross argument serious, I also don't have any experience with that, do they not have showers in America? I'm pretty sure they do, kids aren't sticky. |
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| Hurry My Curry | Sep 9 2015, 08:11 AM Post #6 |
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Master Troll
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I can't nor will I try to explain why other people don't want kids. I'll just tell u why I don't. -when my gf was pregnant (miscarried), I didn't even know who she was. Ik hormones and all that but 10 months of that. Nty. -baby's are expensive. It's not cheap. -Frankly I enjoy not having to alter my lifestyle for someone else, perhaps I'd feel differently if I had a kid. But atm I wouldn't want someone to be depending on me 24/7 365. -a kid pretty much means the end of going out and getting faded, also I'd pretty much have to give up smoking weed, which I don't want to do. Just me. Edit - oh and yeah Baby's are also just really annoying. Yes they can be cute and they have their moments but waking up in the middle of the night to console a crying baby, changing smelly diapers 3 times a day, spending 30 minutes trying to get a baby to eat. That's not fun. Edited by Hurry My Curry, Sep 9 2015, 08:20 AM.
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| Miles for mod | |
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| * Mitas | Sep 9 2015, 08:47 AM Post #7 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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Like Hurry, I can only speak for myself. I always just assumed I would have kids, and while I haven't ruled it out completely (and there are still times when I think that I'd like to have a kid/be a parent), I'm more and more moving away from the idea of having kids. Reasons: - A lot of my mental health issues come from the way I was brought up and the childhood I experienced. I wasn't abused or anything like that, but my Mum had mental health issues of her own and the way she dealt with those, despite good intentions, affected me a lot. I wouldn't want to do that to my own kid. The responsibility a parent has is downright scary: you can have all the good intentions and love for your child in the world and still have a negative affect on how your child develops mentally. - Freedom. If you have a kid, it severely limits your freedom and independence. I like only having to look out for myself (not in a selfish way of course, I look out for my family and friends, but there's no innate responsibility to do so like there is with a child). If I want to do something, I can do it, without having to worry about whether it's a child-friendly activity, or whether I can get a babysitter etc. If I want to go away for a few months, I can do so. The idea of being tied down, basically trapped, doesn't appeal to me. - Money. It's f***ing expensive raising a kid. |
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| Darker | Sep 9 2015, 09:12 AM Post #8 |
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The Lord of the Dark
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Most would agree the answer is kinda simple most of the time. It takes way too much effort to raise a child, and there's a lot of people who would rather live their lives alone with no one else. |
Piccolo: Just how many people have you sacrificed?! Cell: Sacrifice? Hmph, rubbish! On the contrary, it is an honor to become a fraction of my power. | |
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| Rockman | Sep 9 2015, 09:57 AM Post #9 |
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hoighty-toighty
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I'm glad you asked. I'm about to get married in a year or two and children aren't ever going to be an option. Here's why. 1. Money, like Mitas said. I know that without kids i'll have more to live a fulfilling life doing the things that I want to do. Partner also. Yes that's a selfish reason. Keep reading. 2. I wouldn't make a good father, my partner is to busy teaching other people's children to worry about her own. True story. I'm rough with my cats. I get angry at cat vomit. I wouldn't want my child growing up to see my anger. 3. I will have more time and money to spend on other people than my kid. I noticed that my friends who have kids never are interested in game nights with beer, going out to eat, etc etc. Its because their life revolves around the kid now. That's cool and all, but I want to be there for them. Not for a kid I didn't want. 4. The girlfriend literally can't have children or else bad things could happen. She has cystic ovaries. The likelihood of losing the baby before birth is high, not to mention the struggle i'd face even getting her pregnant to begin with. 5. If my girlfriend had a kid, it would be super jacked up in it's genes. My girlfriends female side family has some really bad genes. Blood clotting, etc etc. The lineage really needs to stop. Not just for their sake, but for the sake of the child who will inherit them. 6. We just don't want kids. Honestly we don't need an excuse at all, yet people seem to think we do. When a person says they don't want to do something, and they truly mean it, they aren't saying it for their health. We really don't want kids, and we aren't just being new-age silly about it. |
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| Buuberries | Sep 9 2015, 11:36 AM Post #10 |
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No
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just because our genes are "designed" to replicate, that doesn't mean it overrides all our motivations and desires. let's take engineer as an example: im assuming he loves his partner. evolutionary explanations might suggest that engi's love for his partner is due to a mechanism forged from millions of years of evolution blahblahblah to ensure that someone stays with their partner so they can reproduce. the problem with this is that it doesn't say anything about engi's desires and motivations; it only explains his genes' purpose. to do so is transferring the interests from one thing onto another: X has interests a, b, and c (engi loves his partner because of personality traits she has), and those interests can be explained because Y has interest d (i.e., his genes want to replicate), therefore then X's interest are ultimately d, and not a, b, and c. nopppppp. that's wrong. |
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| + Steve | Sep 9 2015, 01:51 PM Post #11 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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I get these reasons, though I plan to have at least one child at some point many apply to me such as lack of money. But why are we different? When a b*** is in season a male dog no matter what it's doing unless it's perfectly trained will be desperate to go mate with it and the b*** will be the same looking for a male of suitable size(or even not...) Most animals have some sort of mating season where they become desperate to reproduce and depending on the species start a family. Many insects even offer themselves up to be eaten by the female after mating. In almost everything bar humans and panda's most of the species have a clear cut desire to reproduce. So why is it that we can resist that instinct or not even feel it at all? Especially weird since many people do feel it, despite having no money for anything but bare essentials they'll have a kid every two years that they know they can't afford. |
![]() Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
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| SpeedoTrunks | Sep 9 2015, 04:15 PM Post #12 |
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The thing that sets us apart from a lot of of species is the concept of "Choice". Depending on the cirsumstances a person is in, they'll choose not to have children, at all in some cases. I know for me that although I have a daughter now, it wasn't a spoken decision in agreement with my partner, and at that time I didn't want kids. That's not to say I'm not happy with what happened, as I love my kid to the end of the earth, but I remember my mind set at the time. I was 22, had my own house and enough money to do pretty much whatever I wanted, so life was easy. Things came to be, but looking back I don't know why I ever thought that, as having kids is great hah. |
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| + QueenTD | Sep 9 2015, 05:05 PM Post #13 |
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My Dear Melancholy,
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Not to be rude but Steve you make it sound like animals just reproduce 24/7 or always reproduce during mating season. As if all they do is eat sleep and f***. Not all animals even have mating seasons. They sure don't reproduce 24/7. Now animals are more instinct driven but they don't follow them always. An animal can see if an environment is unsuitable for raising. Since mothers typically are very protective in the wild. They won't put their child in death's way. Edited by QueenTD, Sep 9 2015, 05:09 PM.
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| + Pyrus | Sep 9 2015, 09:12 PM Post #14 |
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I don't want kids. Ever. I went out with a girl who had a kid from some other guy, and while the relationship itself was another matter, having a kid was miserable. I couldn't spend money on myself, I couldn't buy a Camaro, I couldn't write, I couldn't play video games, I couldn't hang out with my friends, I couldn't have time to myself after a tough day at work. My world had to revolve around this kid. No. I refuse to let that happen ever again. I like having money to spend on myself, I like having time to myself, I like maintaining a fairly consistent sleep schedule, I like not having to care about anyone else, I like not being stressed out and agitated every single day. Plus, even before experiencing all of that, I disliked kids (well, more specifically, babies and toddlers; I can actually tolerate kids that can be somewhat independent). I can't stand crying babies. It pisses me off like no other, to put it lightly. They just seem useless to me. Like, why would I want to waste my time on this thing when I could be doing something fun instead? Maybe it's hypocritical of me to say, because I'd sit for hours with a baby kitten or a puppy, but then again, I prefer animals to humans in general. If people want kids, that's great. Good for them. If they can take care of said child, go right ahead. They are the future, after all. But it isn't for me, and it bothers me when people verbally attack me for not liking kids. It's a personal preference, and not something I can just change willy-nilly. Maybe in 10 years I'll think differently, but not right now. Edited by Pyrus, Sep 9 2015, 09:13 PM.
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| Rogafufuken | Sep 10 2015, 03:50 AM Post #15 |
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The terrible 2's and just your kid being a toddler in general. Trying to calm a crying toddler down in a public place can be terrible, and pretty impossible. Now I don't have kids, but when I do I'm gonna make sure my child doesn't cry or whine excessively in their early years. Once a kid is in Kindergarten it seems like it's a lot easier to raise them since they behave better, making all the money you spend on them seem more worth it. |
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