Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Rotation Advertisements



We hope you enjoy your visit to this forum.


If you are reading this then it means you are currently browsing the forum as a guest, we don’t limit any of the content posted from guests however if you join, you will have the ability to join the discussions! We are always happy to see new faces at this forum and we would like to hear your opinion, so why not register now? It doesn’t take long and you can get posting right away.


Click here to Register!

If you are having difficulties validating your account please email us at admin@dbzf.co.uk


If you're already a member please log in to your account:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Squall Experiences Reality and the Power of Change
Topic Started: Jun 3 2015, 03:01 AM (411 Views)
Goddess Ultimecia
Member Avatar


Now, as a first-off. I would like to rewind the clock just a mere year ago, back when I was quite possibly in the worst shape of my life barring my third grade year. Of course, my weight was stagnant, staying the same, but nearly all of it was fat. There was virtually no muscle aside from what was necessary to function at the very ripe weight of 270 pounds. I was faced with many an issue, ranging from self-confidence issues due to flab everywhere and my man-tits, or the verbal and emotional abuse at home due to stressed out parents and a sister that takes everything out on her siblings because she has no outlet for her anger brought about by unfair treatment from our parents. To my fears of rejection in virtually everything, not just talking to girls or even women. I would opt out of talking to friends I've known for years because I was afraid of being ignored. (which, to my credit, actually happened quite a bit.) The only outlet I had were my stories but I just couldn't get in the mood alot of the time for writing because I had written myself into a corner where everything was too broad for me to even bother with continuing. I was a bottle of rage, angst, depression, misery, and just all-around emotional instability. It was a tough time, many of the RPers I usually wrote out long storylines with were suffering from hardware issues on computers or had lost interest. The only thing I could do was debate DBZ, but no matter how hard I tried I ended up butting heads with King Kakarot or his former trio of fanboys. (SSJ3Vegito has since changed for the better, thank god, although I don't think he intentionally sided with KK, it was more a coincidence.) Since we know KK's debate style, we know it's not a fun time especially when he starts calling you stupid for simply thinking things don't work out the way he imagines them. I myself had no outlet, just like my sister, and I could feel myself growing more bitter and losing my sense of self with every passing day.

I could see where I was going, I was slowly turning into my sister, my Mom's side of the family, and many of my Dad's side of the family. Bitter, hateful, pessimistic at best. I didn't have alot of options, my family is poor, sometimes being unable to pay the bills sometimes, so a gym membership was out of the question. I didn't work out on my own since people tended to laugh at me for doing so. (A sad thing, my own family members did it on a constant basis even when they promised they wouldn't.) I'm a pacifist, so taking it out physically on my sisters was out of the question from the beginning.

Then, on one of the last days of school, a kid in my Algebra I class who I made conversation with occasionally told me that I had some size on me and that I should join a class called Athletic Conditioning. I was skeptical at first, thinking to myself that I wasn't good enough for it, I fed into the rumours of how the teacher treated people who perhaps weren't the best in shape, and I knew that he had personal say-so in who got into the class and who didn't. My issue with why it was unlikely for me to get picked you ask? I was not in a sport, and I personally thought I looked fat and very out of shape. I figured, though, that if I didn't atleast try, then I had no right to complain. So I scheduled an appointment with my councilor and replaced my PE III class with Athletic Conditioning. Of course, it wasn't a guarantee that I would get in so I had set up PE III just in case I didn't. Now, it was a matter of waiting until my schedule came into the mail after getting my picture taken for my idea and got my books. I had a feeling that I wasn't going to get picked and I braced myself for it... but then, when the schedule came into the mail. I saw that I had been accepted into the class! Holy s***! COMPLETELY unexpected. I knew that I was lucky, because many apply for the class but very few get picked. So he must've seen something special in me, my councilor must have spoke with him, and I know for a fact he spoke with one of my friends that were enrolled in the class, as well as the other one. I was overjoyed, ecstatic even. I had to fight to even keep my feet on the ground because I felt like with the amount of want I had to just jump around like a bunny on crack was going to overwhelm me. School was starting in 2 weeks and I had gotten all the classes I wanted by some miracle.

Fast forward and we're in the second week of school, in Athletic Conditioning we're gauging where we're at with things like vertical tests, how far our arm reach is, shuttle runs, pull ups, push up tests, sit up tests you name it. I... skipped out on a majority of it admittedly, which I regret. I did the shuttle run, push up test, sit up test, vertical test, and stretch test. Scored 9.9 seconds on the Shuttle Run, (Teacher said if we couldn't hit atleast 10 seconds then we had no business in the class, I was content in knowing that at the very least I was just there.) did 30 push ups without stopping, did 53 sit ups without stopping. Could jump up to 9 feet (I'm 5"6', 5"7' for reference.) and could reach to my toes and a little bit further than that without struggling. Not bad, but not necessarily good. 'Twas decent. Then... the mile run came up. At that point I had virtually no stamina, I gassed and was breathing difficult after running down a hallway and had to breathe out of my mouth after going up a thing of stairs to get to the second floor. You can guess how I did on the Mile Run, I did f***ing horribly. I was one of the last people on the track to finish, out of three classes, two of which weren't even Athletic Conditioning. It was embarrassing. It took me well over 20 minutes to run a mile. I felt the disappointment in his voice and just the way he looked at me. I was told that I better improve dramatically by the end of the year. I left a bad first impression, and I felt extremely bad about it. At that point I knew that if I couldn't excel in the running department, I was going to blow everyone away when it came to lifting weights. I set my eyes on the prize more or less.

The day came for initial maxing, I was f***ing determined to score high. However, I realized that although I wasn't perhaps as far back in comparison to everyone else as I was in the running department, I still had quite aways to go when it came to weight-lifting. I couldn't bench 175, no where near my body weight. Out of pity I assume, the teacher said he'd record my max as 170. Many aside from a few were above me or right around me. I was the biggest kid in there too...

There was a senior in the class (he's now since graduated) who had become my group leader. He picked me because he apparently saw potential in me to become a real power house. In fact, he told me that if he hadn't helped me raise my max to atleast 200 by the end of the year, that he had failed. I felt yet another reason to succeed in the class and to push myself ever further. Not only to prove to the teacher that letting me in to the class wasn't a mistake, and now to make sure I didn't fail a new friend from what he wanted me to do. He put me through hell... not emotionally or mentally, but physically. Not a day in my life before had I been unable to move my arms because they were limp noodles or had I fallen down flights of stairs because my legs were pasta. But I liked it, it pushed away my thoughts of loneliness, because I knew I was progressing. He was determined, as was I. Which when I look back at it, likely created a chemistry that helped me push myself further because he was willing to help me push further and had the strength to be my main spotter.

About every two to three months we raise our maxes, or atleast attempt to. As many of the kids I saw were incapable of said feat. Many only raised their maxes maybe ten pounds throughout the entire year. So, you can imagine that alot of people weren't exercising right. Was I doing it right? 'Twas time to find out. I was satisfied with the result. I had jumped up an entire 45 pounds. Blew the original goal out of the water... Capitalizing on this I set the next goal to 250.

I missed the next time to raise our maxes.

The third time I raised my max not only another 5 pounds... but 30. I went from 20 pounds under the strongest lifter in the period, to 10 pounds over him. My confidence SOARED. I was benching 245 pounds, 20 pounds off from my body weight at the time. But, I was still 5 pounds from my goal. So I pushed and I pushed and I pushed as hard as I could. I had to atleast raise my max by ten pounds to get the full grade I was aiming for. I seemed to have plateu'd though, it was hard, but after a few months all I ended up doing was raising it by 5 pounds. I had hit my goal, but I wanted to get past it, and get the grade I wanted. One week left, lots of pressure to get that grade... and I did it. Albeit it was difficult as hell.

So now I'm benching 255 pounds and I believe I showed the teacher that I wasn't a mistake to let in, I think I more than blew that idea out of the water. I know that just by the fact that he wants me to join shotput and discus throw. As a lot of the guys in the class have said, I "Look like I can break someone's back Bane Style."

But, increasing my strength and getting into better shape isn't the only thing that has helped boost my self-confidence. For the first time in my life, I've actually been approached by attractive girls that asked ME if we could hang out sometime. Let me tell ya, if my confidence was at a 5, it sure as hell jumped to a 7 or an 8. Just the fact that people seemed interested in me openly is such a rush, seeing longing in people's eyes is... overwhelming, to say the least.

I may have set the ship for sail, and the shore may be physically gone, but I still know about what I was before and I have still kept the positive influences and the positive aspects of my personality. I've just shed the s*** that was holding me back, many of the insults that have been used against me in the past are no longer valid, and the ones that have slight validity I usually just laugh off because I know that I've come a long way.

So, for those that have read all the way to this point. Have you had a similar experience in your life or do you have any aspirations to dig out of a hole? (not literally of course, don't know how you'd be reading this while in a hole. I'll call emergency services to halp u ute.)
Posted Image

NinjaSushi Colouring
Member Online View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mihawk
Member Avatar


I'm not sure what to say, this is really good stuff. But props to you for pulling through all negativity that was thrown at you. And I wish you well fighting forward.

Posted Image

Member Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
+ Ssj3vegito96
Member Avatar


Good for you bro! It's awesome that you were able to make so much progress despite the negativity you had to face. Keep it up!

Btw I never intentionally sided with KK. I don't remember ever being rude to you in debates but if I was I apologize. You're one of my good buddies on this forum
Edited by Ssj3vegito96, Jun 3 2015, 06:16 AM.
IT'S CHEESE
Posted Image
Spoiler: click to toggle
Member Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
SSJ
Member Avatar


That was pretty inspiring, man. Glad to see that you're achieving some of your goals.
Posted Image
Member Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Goddess Ultimecia
Member Avatar


Ssj3vegito96
Jun 3 2015, 06:11 AM
Good for you bro! It's awesome that you were able to make so much progress despite the negativity you had to face. Keep it up!

Btw I never intentionally sided with KK. I don't remember ever being rude to you in debates but if I was I apologize. You're one of my good buddies on this forum
Nah, not that I can remember anyway. If you can find a post though be sure to share :p

As I said though it was coincidence at the time. I don't recall ya calling people stupid for simply thinking things aren't going to go the exact way you imagined it. Speaking of which, I do owe XGoku an apology for calling him daft some months back in an Asura vs DBGT discussion.
Posted Image

NinjaSushi Colouring
Member Online View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Buuberries
Member Avatar
No

Good job. I had legit had a smile on my face while I was reading through that.
<345
¯\(°_o)/¯
Member Offline View Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
0 users reading this topic
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums with no limits on posts or members.
« Previous Topic · General Discussion · Next Topic »
Add Reply

Theme Designed by McKee91