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| Is this an Old School way of thinking? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 30 2015, 04:48 PM (728 Views) | |
| TheGmGoken | May 30 2015, 04:48 PM Post #1 |
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Not really a discussion more so a question. I'll probably tell an admin to shut the topic after a few post if that's okay. Unless a discussion does occurs then I'll let it live for awhile longer. The topic is about households. Mom was shocked to here my plans. Even though I can afford it. Mom thinks I'm old school I believe that the man should pay the bills of the house and buy the groceries. While the woman should cook and clean. Now I'm not saying the woman should clean everything but just neaten things up and obviously if it's my mess I'll do it. I believe the girl can have a job and not be a housewife. Just how I've seen it growing up in Busan and Seoul. Even here in America that's what I've seen. Just seems right to me. This might also sound sexist but it's not my intentions but I also believe it's the man job to fix things, install, and move things around. Instead of wasting money and calling someone. |
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May 30 2015, 05:03 PM Post #2 |
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My question: Why do you feel this way? There is never a logical basis behind this mode of thinking. A simple "because I feel like it's right" isn't going to get you anywhere. |
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| Rockman | May 30 2015, 05:10 PM Post #3 |
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hoighty-toighty
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Matter of opinion mostly. I think for a relationship to last strong, both people have to put in equal efforts to keep the living space tidy. Sometimes either person might do more chores than the other simply because they have nothing better to do. For instance, while my girlfriend is not at school teaching during the summer, she will more than likely do more cleaning than usual. Also not because I have bother asking her. Just because she would rather do it than sit around and pick her butt all day. I also am of the opinion that guys who think like that, either suck at doing those chores in the first place, or are hiding behind a reason to be lazy. Besides, those chores are sometimes a daily thing. I really doubt you'll be fixing, installing, and moving things on a daily basis. I feel like if I was to have that mindset, she'd leave me, and then i'd be stuck doing the chores anyway. I wouldn't win. |
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| TheGmGoken | May 30 2015, 05:21 PM Post #4 |
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It's..in the Opening post. It's what I grow up around my ENTIRE life. Every place I've been. Just how I've seen my family live. Both mom side and dad side. My family have a good track record too. |
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| + Steve | May 30 2015, 05:22 PM Post #5 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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I don't see a problem with it so long as the woman is fine with it. It's not exactly lazy for a man to not do chores if he's the one slaving at work most of the week, he should help as much as he can but considering he pays for everything in this situation it's fair for him to be taking a break when he's at home. Who wants to be working like 80 hours a week then have to come home and clean up mess they didn't make? It's not a womans job to tidy but it's whoever is doing less works job for sure if they sit around doing nothing while their partner works and cleans the house they're kind of an a*****, with exceptions to things like being pregnant. Wonder when we're going to get to the point where it's socially acceptable for the man to be a househusband? People say it is but it clearly isn't there's still that look of "he's just lazy" in people's eyes no matter how much they pretend they don't mind it. |
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| Buuberries | May 30 2015, 05:24 PM Post #6 |
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No
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that commits the genetic fallacy, tho. |
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| Common2 | May 30 2015, 05:29 PM Post #7 |
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Sure, and as long as you find a woman who also wants this kind of household, everyone's happy. But just because traditionally that's how most households were run, doesn't mean that's how it should be today. Traditions aren't necessarily correct. Edited by Common2, May 30 2015, 05:30 PM.
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May 30 2015, 05:47 PM Post #8 |
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I grew up in an extremely conservative, traditional environment, but I'm probably one of the most non-traditional people you'll meet. Just because you've grown up in a family that successfully functions this way does't make it correct. My parents are the same way. My dad works full-time, brings home all of the money, pays all the bills, etc. while my mom is constantly cooking and cleaning. This runs smoothly most of the time, but it's also the basis for a lot of their arguments because my dad has become too lazy to do anything around the house. My mom goes so far as to bring him his food, pick out his clothes, etc. The only thing they work on together is the landscaping of the house. Personally, I think it's an insult to the woman. It puts her on a level lower than you when you say that women should not be in charge of money or running the house. What is she, then? Your servant? Servants cook and clean, but they have no say in the running of the home. This is the argument you're presenting for women, and odds are most women you meet will not want to marry you if you seriously plan to run your home this way. This is one of those traditional mindsets that just needs to disappear. It makes the man feel superior and lets him get away with whatever he wants, but it does nothing but hurt the woman. I don't know why women willingly put themselves into these lifestyles. I don't mind cooking and cleaning, but if my partner isn't willing to cook and clean with me and let me have half the say in the home and family, we're done. |
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| TheGmGoken | May 30 2015, 06:07 PM Post #9 |
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Should be? I just met my household in general or my family's household. I understand everyone household is different. It doesn't bother me in the slightest if someone is different. Most of you didn't even anwser the question. I just wanted to know it's old school way of thinking. Not some debates about "Why I think everyone household should".
Huh? It puts us on even levels. We both work, we both clean (I said I'll clean up mess I created while she'll decide on how things should look. Hence the part of me moving things and her just tiddy things up. She cooks. I fix and install things (Even though it's an apartment). She in charge of her money. I'm in charge of mine I specifically said "NOT A HOUSEWIFE". She have more control over the area than me. Don't see how it's a level below. When we're doing even work. I also don't want to get married. Except for the presents and cake.
I'm lost here. How..does.. This make me superior? |
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May 30 2015, 06:11 PM Post #10 |
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When you say "I believe that the man should pay the bills of the house and buy the groceries. While the woman should cook and clean." That seems to imply that the man should have control of the money and how that money is spent while the woman stays at home all day working her a*** off for the sake of making the home look good. To answer your general question, yes, it's an extremely old school way of thinking, and like I said, I think this type of thinking does no one any good.
You didn't state the part about her being in charge of her own money in the opening post. Totally random question: How do you think that homosexual relationships should function? Edited by Doggo Champion 2k17, May 30 2015, 06:12 PM.
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| TheGmGoken | May 30 2015, 06:27 PM Post #11 |
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Shouldn't have to mention her money when it said she..has her OWN JOB. A job gives you a paycheck. That money is yours. Therefore she has her own money. How should homosexual relationships work? Idk. It's their relationship and house. Seeing as I'm specifically talking about my house not everyone elses. I wouldn't even give advice to my next door neighbor on his household because it's his house. Idk how others should run there house because I'm not them. It's like everyone missed this part on purpose " Now I'm not saying the woman should clean everything but just neaten things up and obviously if it's my mess I'll do it. I believe the girl can have a job and not be a housewife." Edited by TheGmGoken, May 30 2015, 06:28 PM.
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May 30 2015, 06:29 PM Post #12 |
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Not really. My parents have a joint bank account. So do many other "traditional" couples. It was just a question for the sake of debate. No need to get upset. |
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| TheGmGoken | May 30 2015, 06:36 PM Post #13 |
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I'm 19 in an apartment with a part time roommate...why would I have a joint bank account. How often does a 19 year old have joints? Also read the first sentence. Edited by TheGmGoken, May 30 2015, 06:37 PM.
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May 30 2015, 06:37 PM Post #14 |
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This entire thread is hypothesizing about the future, isn't it? I suspect you're not in a serious relationship at the moment given the way you worded your OP. Come on, man. You're floundering instead of actually thinking about what I'm saying.
Edited by Doggo Champion 2k17, May 30 2015, 06:38 PM.
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| TheGmGoken | May 30 2015, 06:41 PM Post #15 |
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I'm talking both future and present. Present I live in an apartment with a part time roommate that's my girlfriend now. Future: Pretty much the same except it's a house, kids, a dog, and more $$$. Define serious relationship. |
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