having an issue, need a little advice.

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having an issue, need a little advice.
Tweet Topic Started: Apr 17 2015, 10:32 PM (464 Views)
lucrowe	Apr 17 2015, 10:32 PM Post #1
Posts: 1,149 Group: Member Member #11,578 Joined: August 5, 2014 Gender Male Favourite Anime Gantz What Browser do you use? Chrome Favourite Manga Not much of a fan..	I'm not one to air my issues out on social media, but you guys give some good advice to others allot of the time so I could do with a bit of advice. Tonight is my friends Batchelor party (bucks night). My friend is having his wedding in Bali to which I'm attending, so I'm currently doing strict savings so I can afford to have a good holiday as well. Now, the other day I told the groom to be that because I'm in strict savings I can't really afford to drink and have a big night (because drinking in town is very expensive) so I'd decided to drive in and stay sober. My argument being that entry fees alone are gonna kill me, but i really want to go in and be there for him and have a good time. I learned last night from the best man (a good friend if mine) that the groom is wildly offended that I don't want to get smashed and have a big night on his bucks night, and that if I were to drive in I would play host to ridicule and more or less be pressured into having a big night. I think that as my friends who are supposed to support me during tough times they would be a bit more understanding of my situation. I think that considering dinner alone is gonna cost 40 dollars, plus entry fees and non alcoholic drinks I'm looking at spending over 100 dollars as it is. I think I'm being perfectly reasonable. I'm an adult and I'm free to make my own decisions regarding what i do and don't want to do, and considering there's a large sum of money involved that I can barely afford to part with I'm doing a good thing by at least being there. But, according to almost everyone else I'm the selfish one. I mean, does that even make sense? How am I selfish when I'm doing everything I can to at least be there considering I can barely afford it even if I'm not out to have a big night! I expected better from a handful of my best friends. I mean, I do love these guys, they've been great friends to me for years but I think they're being completely unreasonable here and now I'm being put in a very awkward situation because the groom is legit offended that I don't want to drink. Is that fair? I think I'm really getting the raw end of the deal here. Am I the one being selfish and I just don't see it? Should I not go and risk further offending him? Or should I just suck it up and spend money I barely have just to give my friend the Batchelor party he wants?
	"I'm not in it for the money, I'm rapping to be relevant, Spittin' for the hell of it to get me in my element and stomp whack rappers like an elephant... I'm the celebrant delegate spittin' elegant benevolence" - Lucrowe MC. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lucrowe-MC/661247567303948?ref=bookmarks Str8 Outta Namek, A Crazy Mutha Fka Named Lucrowe


Buuberries	Apr 17 2015, 10:37 PM Post #2
No Posts: 7,150 Group: Members Member #8,753 Joined: December 30, 2012 Gender Not Specified Country None Favourite Anime The Passion of Christ What Browser do you use? Christianity Favourite Manga The Bible	are there no cheaper alternatives? fill up a hip flask and sneak it in with you also i dont see it as being selfish, especially when you're already paying out your a* to go to his wedding in another country Edited by Buuberries**, Apr 17 2015, 10:41 PM.
	¯\(°_o)/¯


lucrowe	Apr 17 2015, 10:47 PM Post #3
Posts: 1,149 Group: Member Member #11,578 Joined: August 5, 2014 Gender Male Favourite Anime Gantz What Browser do you use? Chrome Favourite Manga Not much of a fan..	Buuberries Apr 17 2015, 10:37 PM are there no cheaper alternatives? fill up a hip flask and sneak it in with you also i dont see it as being selfish, especially when you're already paying out your a* to go to his wedding in another country If i fill a flask and get caught I'm kicked out of the club and I don't get back in. don't really want to risk it ay. The only way I can go in and not offend him is if I fork out and have a big night, but I just don't think that's fair! My morals are telling me "f* him, you're an adult and you have the right to not do something you don't want to do" but now I'm made to feel bad for that. So angry that my friends would do this =/ I wouldn't do that to them..
	"I'm not in it for the money, I'm rapping to be relevant, Spittin' for the hell of it to get me in my element and stomp whack rappers like an elephant... I'm the celebrant delegate spittin' elegant benevolence" - Lucrowe MC. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lucrowe-MC/661247567303948?ref=bookmarks Str8 Outta Namek, A Crazy Mutha Fka Named Lucrowe


Buuberries	Apr 17 2015, 10:50 PM Post #4
No Posts: 7,150 Group: Members Member #8,753 Joined: December 30, 2012 Gender Not Specified Country None Favourite Anime The Passion of Christ What Browser do you use? Christianity Favourite Manga The Bible	okay this one requires a bit of deception go in and buy the first round of drinks for a few people. you'll be spending a bit obv and idk how much drinks are there usually, but maybe spend enough so that you dont feel bad about having spent it from that point on, everyone will be drinking and getting drunk. next person buys the next round, then the next, and so on. then when people ask you for a round just say "I've already got us a round. it's ur turn"
	¯\(°_o)/¯


+ Ssj3vegito96	Apr 17 2015, 10:52 PM Post #5
Posts: 10,327 Group: Elite Member Member #10,438 Joined: November 2, 2013 Gender Male Country United States Favourite Anime Dragon ball/Z/GT/S, Fullmetal Alchemist:Brotherhood, One Punch Man Favourite Manga DB/Z/S	Alcohol can be expensive and if you really are tight on budget I don't think you're being selfish. You're right. Your friends should be more understanding Maybe you can get one drink and drink it throughout the night and if you want make it look like your hammered. That's what I do lol Edited by Ssj3vegito96, Apr 17 2015, 10:54 PM.
	IT'S CHEESE Spoiler: click to toggle Top 7 favorite dbz heroes: 1. Sometimes it goku sometimes it's vegeta 2. ^ 3. Teen gohan 4. Future trunks 5. Piccolo 6. Adult gohan 7. Bardock


Buuberries	Apr 17 2015, 10:54 PM Post #6
No Posts: 7,150 Group: Members Member #8,753 Joined: December 30, 2012 Gender Not Specified Country None Favourite Anime The Passion of Christ What Browser do you use? Christianity Favourite Manga The Bible	you know what ignore my posts. this is making me realise how shrewd i can be. also i've never done anything like that before but it just came into my head cuz it would suck if you and your friend fell out over this
	¯\(°_o)/¯


+ Steve	Apr 17 2015, 10:58 PM Post #7
Greetings. I will be your waifu this season. Posts: 19,471 Group: Legend Member #5,710 Joined: February 7, 2011 Gender Male Country United Kingdom Favourite Anime Hunter x Hunter(2011) What Browser do you use? Mozilla Firefox Favourite Manga Berserk all day erry day	They're being dicks honestly. "I'm getting married, spend loads of your money at your own expense for my enjoyment! Even though your drinking or not doesn't really affect me at all!" You could just make up something like you have to be at the doctors the next day so don't want to be broken from a night of drinking or that you left the oven on Or if you're single that some outrageously hot chick agreed to go on a date with you and needs your attention right now. Get another friend to message you saying something about it pretending to be her. They're guys, they'll understand But yeah they're being unreasonable if they want to piss money for a wedding good for them, maybe not everyone can afford that.
	Definitely not a succubus, fear not


lucrowe	Apr 17 2015, 11:00 PM Post #8
Posts: 1,149 Group: Member Member #11,578 Joined: August 5, 2014 Gender Male Favourite Anime Gantz What Browser do you use? Chrome Favourite Manga Not much of a fan..	I've worked out that if I go in with the agenda of getting dinner, getting a bit saucy, buying house special beer (6 dollars a pint), plus entry fees and cab fare home im looking at spending $180. I mean, come on! That's a fair bit of money to spend just because the groom is being a b*** and can't realize his mate is doing it tough on the grind. I suppose i could just nurse my drinks and make it look like I'm drinking, but the way I see it is I shouldn't have to put on an act just because he wants me to be drunk. What the hell is the point in that? We're not 18 anymore. I'm 24 years old, I'm not interested in getting hammered anymore. I had my hay day, you gotta grow up eventually
	"I'm not in it for the money, I'm rapping to be relevant, Spittin' for the hell of it to get me in my element and stomp whack rappers like an elephant... I'm the celebrant delegate spittin' elegant benevolence" - Lucrowe MC. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lucrowe-MC/661247567303948?ref=bookmarks Str8 Outta Namek, A Crazy Mutha Fka Named Lucrowe


lucrowe	Apr 17 2015, 11:03 PM Post #9
Posts: 1,149 Group: Member Member #11,578 Joined: August 5, 2014 Gender Male Favourite Anime Gantz What Browser do you use? Chrome Favourite Manga Not much of a fan..	Steve Apr 17 2015, 10:58 PM They're being dicks honestly. "I'm getting married, spend loads of your money at your own expense for my enjoyment! Even though your drinking or not doesn't really affect me at all!" You could just make up something like you have to be at the doctors the next day so don't want to be broken from a night of drinking or that you left the oven on Or if you're single that some outrageously hot chick agreed to go on a date with you and needs your attention right now. Get another friend to message you saying something about it pretending to be her. They're guys, they'll understand But yeah they're being unreasonable if they want to piss money for a wedding good for them, maybe not everyone can afford that. That would work, but I'm in a committed relationship of 5 years so nah. Can't do that. Can't even make up misses troubles because she's a brides maid and going to the Bachelorette party. She'll be there the whole night.
	"I'm not in it for the money, I'm rapping to be relevant, Spittin' for the hell of it to get me in my element and stomp whack rappers like an elephant... I'm the celebrant delegate spittin' elegant benevolence" - Lucrowe MC. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lucrowe-MC/661247567303948?ref=bookmarks Str8 Outta Namek, A Crazy Mutha Fka Named Lucrowe


Zoom	Apr 18 2015, 08:37 AM Post #10
Posts: 3,426 Group: Member Member #12,146 Joined: March 16, 2015 Gender Male	Buy the first or 2 rounds, and when it comes back to you after the 2nd, just say you'd had enough to drink and don't drink even if your friends buy you a drink so they won't think you're a tight a*. Edited by Zoom**, Apr 18 2015, 08:47 AM.



* Mitas	Apr 18 2015, 08:43 AM Post #11
It truly was a Shawshank redemption Posts: 12,129 Group: Retired Staff Member #2,993 Joined: December 16, 2007 Gender Male Favourite Anime DBZ What Browser do you use? Google Chrome Favourite Manga DBZ, Full Metal Alchemist	You are completely and utterly in the right here. I mean, you're already paying what I assume is a substantial amount of money just to attend his wedding (don't even get me started on the arrogance of people that get married in places that cost the attendees money "hey, we know we're such important people in your life so how about spending YOUR money so you can attend OUR special day"). I mean, even saying no to that in my books would not be wrong or selfish, but you didn't, so he should be grateful. PLUS, you're still going to the bachelor party! Some people would be like "look man, I'm paying for a holiday I didn't even plan myself just to be there on your special day, I can't afford an extra couple hundred dollars on top of that for the bachelor party" and just not turned up, but you didn't do that. You want to be there, you just can't spend that type of money. That should show him that you care a lot about being there for him. But he's being a selfish d*** (sorry to talk that way about a friend, but it's true). Don't feel bad in the slightest.
	"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is."


+ Ginyu	Apr 18 2015, 08:54 AM Post #12
Leve Feyenoord 1! Posts: 4,490 Group: Elite Member Member #9,685 Joined: June 30, 2013 Gender Female Country Netherlands Favourite Anime NJPW What Browser do you use? Chrome Favourite Manga Reading is for nerds, yo!	If anything I'd be really happy with you as a friend, since I can get f*cked up drunk and not worry about who's driving. If anything, you're being responsible and are sacrificing some fun. I already have respect for you for even going if you are on strict saving, like you already said, entry fees are already going to kill you. I'd be happy with you as a friend. You thought everything through, they didn't. If they're your friends, perhaps explaining it some more would help.
	Ask GinyuTokusentai


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