Cheating in a relationship (& cheaters)

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Cheating in a relationship (& cheaters)
Tweet Topic Started: Apr 1 2015, 12:49 AM (6,343 Views)
Zeddicus	Apr 1 2015, 03:47 PM Post #31
Posts: 54 Group: Member Member #12,063 Joined: February 11, 2015 Gender Male Country United States Favourite Anime DBZ, Hunter x Hunter Favourite Manga Negima	Ginyu, I agree with you except on the first point. Unless I'm mistaken, the idea behind having an open relationship is to be able to be involved with more than one person physically, while still being emotionally devoted to your significant other. So it wouldn't be cheating, would it? I admit that I've never had one like that, so I could be mistaken. But that's how I've always understood it.



+ Ginyu	Apr 1 2015, 04:31 PM Post #32
Leve Feyenoord 1! Posts: 4,490 Group: Elite Member Member #9,685 Joined: June 30, 2013 Gender Female Country Netherlands Favourite Anime NJPW What Browser do you use? Chrome Favourite Manga Reading is for nerds, yo!	Zeddicus Apr 1 2015, 03:47 PM Ginyu, I agree with you except on the first point. Unless I'm mistaken, the idea behind having an open relationship is to be able to be involved with more than one person physically, while still being emotionally devoted to your significant other. So it wouldn't be cheating, would it? I admit that I've never had one like that, so I could be mistaken. But that's how I've always understood it. I guess it's because I've never understood an open relationship. To me it's always been like: I want to have a partner but can't keep my hands off of other men/women. I myself would never accept an open relationship because I would see it as an excuse to cheat on your partner. An open relationship goes against what a relationship should be in my opinion.
	Ask GinyuTokusentai


+ QueenTD	Apr 1 2015, 04:37 PM Post #33
My Dear Melancholy, Posts: 4,480 Group: Elite Member Member #11,589 Joined: August 8, 2014 Gender Female Country United States	An open relationship is basically an understanding that BOTH people can see other people as they're not committed to each other. Consider it more of "sex buddies" or friend with benefits. I wouldn't even say its cheating but just f***ing everywhere Lol.
	Spoiler: click to toggle GinyuTokusentai You seem nice. Kinda innocent, just a sweet girl Emmeth It seems like you really care about people and you're always polite and worried you'll offend anyone. It's cute. My Step Son peep love u xoxo


Zeddicus	Apr 1 2015, 05:01 PM Post #34
Posts: 54 Group: Member Member #12,063 Joined: February 11, 2015 Gender Male Country United States Favourite Anime DBZ, Hunter x Hunter Favourite Manga Negima	In that case, calling it a relationship at all seems kind of silly. It's more like always having one specific person on layaway while shopping around in other aisles.



Buuberries	Apr 1 2015, 05:05 PM Post #35
No Posts: 7,150 Group: Members Member #8,753 Joined: December 30, 2012 Gender Not Specified Country None Favourite Anime The Passion of Christ What Browser do you use? Christianity Favourite Manga The Bible	Makes me wonder if there are any couples who say they should be more open with each other and word it as, "I think we should have a more open relationship," but their partner miscontrues this as seeing other people. Edited by Buuberries, Apr 1 2015, 08:01 PM.
	¯\(°_o)/¯


+ Ginyu	Apr 1 2015, 05:16 PM Post #36
Leve Feyenoord 1! Posts: 4,490 Group: Elite Member Member #9,685 Joined: June 30, 2013 Gender Female Country Netherlands Favourite Anime NJPW What Browser do you use? Chrome Favourite Manga Reading is for nerds, yo!	An open relationship is like saying that a certain duty is optional. The entire point of a duty is that it's not optional, just like how the entire point of a relationship is to be closed, be limited to each other.
	Ask GinyuTokusentai


+ Pointer	Apr 1 2015, 07:39 PM Post #37
... Posts: 7,062 Group: Elite Member Member #8,812 Joined: January 5, 2013 Gender Male	ObsessiveFanGirl Apr 1 2015, 12:30 PM GinyuTokusentai Apr 1 2015, 05:10 AM ObsessiveFanGirl Apr 1 2015, 04:38 AM It depends on the relationship. Sometimes cheating is awful, sometimes it's not so bad; therefore, this topic is extremely difficult to answer. Sorry, don't have a lot of experience in relationships. In what situation would cheating be considred 'not so bad'? 1. If you're in an open relationship. 2. If you have some other understanding that permits cheating. 3. If your partner deserves it. Number 3 may sound terrible to some, but cheating isn't always some horrendous, unlawful thing. My ex girlfriend emotionally abused me, manipulated me into staying with her and coming back to her, told me every day how horrible and worthless I was, made me depressed, etc. the anxiety I currently deal with every day can be traced back to that relationship. When I was with her, I was confused, depressed, and alone. I got drunk a lot, kissed other people. Looking back on it, I don't really regret it. She was a sociopath. My current girlfriend is a much different story. I would never cheat on her. We're in a loving, committed relationship, so the act becomes more deplorable. Partner deserves it, how can? Can you explain it , please?



+ Pyrus	Apr 1 2015, 08:01 PM Post #38
Posts: 39,342 Group: Legend Member #5,088 Joined: August 1, 2010 Gender Not Specified Country Chile	GinyuTokusentai Apr 1 2015, 03:24 PM ObsessiveFanGirl Apr 1 2015, 12:30 PM GinyuTokusentai Apr 1 2015, 05:10 AM ObsessiveFanGirl Apr 1 2015, 04:38 AM It depends on the relationship. Sometimes cheating is awful, sometimes it's not so bad; therefore, this topic is extremely difficult to answer. Sorry, don't have a lot of experience in relationships. In what situation would cheating be considred 'not so bad'? 1. If you're in an open relationship. 2. If you have some other understanding that permits cheating. 3. If your partner deserves it. Number 3 may sound terrible to some, but cheating isn't always some horrendous, unlawful thing. My ex girlfriend emotionally abused me, manipulated me into staying with her and coming back to her, told me every day how horrible and worthless I was, made me depressed, etc. the anxiety I currently deal with every day can be traced back to that relationship. When I was with her, I was confused, depressed, and alone. I got drunk a lot, kissed other people. Looking back on it, I don't really regret it. She was a sociopath. My current girlfriend is a much different story. I would never cheat on her. We're in a loving, committed relationship, so the act becomes more deplorable. To me, they seem more like excuses to cheat than solid justifications. But I guess that's subjective For once, I agree with you. The second two (especially the third) sound like poor excuses, a way to evade personal fault in the situation. It sounds weak.
	Spoiler: click to toggle


~~Doggo Champion 2k17~~	Apr 1 2015, 08:14 PM Post #39
Posts: 7,931 Group: GTFO Member #6,380 Joined: June 20, 2011 Country United States Favourite Anime here comes What Browser do you use? o shit waddup! Favourite Manga dat boi	Porcukor Apr 1 2015, 07:39 PM ObsessiveFanGirl Apr 1 2015, 12:30 PM GinyuTokusentai Apr 1 2015, 05:10 AM ObsessiveFanGirl Apr 1 2015, 04:38 AM It depends on the relationship. Sometimes cheating is awful, sometimes it's not so bad; therefore, this topic is extremely difficult to answer. Sorry, don't have a lot of experience in relationships. In what situation would cheating be considred 'not so bad'? 1. If you're in an open relationship. 2. If you have some other understanding that permits cheating. 3. If your partner deserves it. Number 3 may sound terrible to some, but cheating isn't always some horrendous, unlawful thing. My ex girlfriend emotionally abused me, manipulated me into staying with her and coming back to her, told me every day how horrible and worthless I was, made me depressed, etc. the anxiety I currently deal with every day can be traced back to that relationship. When I was with her, I was confused, depressed, and alone. I got drunk a lot, kissed other people. Looking back on it, I don't really regret it. She was a sociopath. My current girlfriend is a much different story. I would never cheat on her. We're in a loving, committed relationship, so the act becomes more deplorable. Partner deserves it, how can? Can you explain it , please? I did explain it. Of course, I can't really adequately explain it since it was an emotional experience, but yeah. I wasn't expecting to come into this thread with a popular opinion. You can't understand perspectives like these without personally experiencing them. Quote: The second two (especially the third) sound like poor excuses, a way to evade personal fault in the situation. It sounds weak. From a biological basis, love and commitment are weak. They go against human nature entirely. I'm sure there are loads of scientific articles and studies to back up this claim, I'm just too lazy to look into it. Open relationships, as long as they are properly understood and agreed upon, are the best way to maintain a lasting relationship. But they aren't for everyone. They're definitely not for me. I prefer having a committed relationship with one person, even if it is a heck of a lot harder. It goes against human nature. That's what makes it so difficult to maintain. Quote: Yeah some people really just make you miserable. You should just leave them but it can be hard to do so, you feel trapped and then someone else is there to comfort you and make you feel something positive. I don't see what's so bad about that really, the person who cheats there isn't to blame. Exactly. I'm not trying to say that cheating is a good thing. It definitely isn't. But leaving someone who manipulates and abuses you is a lot easier said than done. I just want people to open their minds a bit. This "cheating is inherently evil" and "cheaters are cheaters 4 life" nonsense is pretty silly to be honest. I cringe every time someone recites that stupid saying: "Once a cheater, always a cheater." That's just not true, to put it simply. It's just not. Edited by Doggo Champion 2k17, Apr 1 2015, 08:17 PM.



+ QueenTD	Apr 1 2015, 08:24 PM Post #40
My Dear Melancholy, Posts: 4,480 Group: Elite Member Member #11,589 Joined: August 8, 2014 Gender Female Country United States	I'm 100% with OFG here. Cheating isn't the worst evil ever (though I don't..really like the concept of cheating) and how everyone makes a cheater out to be the worse person ever. But it's still IMO very wrong in a committed relationship but not in a different type of relationship. There's a reason why committed relationships aren't very popular. It's not exactly easy (ignoring biological reason. Being in a relationship is tough in general. You deal with flaws and pros and even in between. Arguments and mistakes) being in a relationship. But I'll say it's the best feeling ever when you're happy. I'll say using biological reasons. Love is strong but not commitment. But lucky for humans some people are stronger than others in certain aspects. Not everyone is made for a open relationship, committed relationship, or a sex buddy relationship. Not to mention some if not a lot of people confuse lust for love. Edited by QueenTD, Apr 1 2015, 08:27 PM.
	Spoiler: click to toggle GinyuTokusentai You seem nice. Kinda innocent, just a sweet girl Emmeth It seems like you really care about people and you're always polite and worried you'll offend anyone. It's cute. My Step Son peep love u xoxo


+ Pyrus	Apr 1 2015, 09:19 PM Post #41
Posts: 39,342 Group: Legend Member #5,088 Joined: August 1, 2010 Gender Not Specified Country Chile	No, cheating isn't the worst evil in the world, but to throw it into the mix after a little turmoil or to get back at someone shows how petty some people can be.
	Spoiler: click to toggle


Strawberry	Apr 1 2015, 10:14 PM Post #42
Chiaroscuro ♥ Posts: 17,000 Group: Rock Princess Member #1,750 Joined: September 24, 2006	I'm actually genuinely curious about this right now as it's something I had never really thought about before -- if you're in an open relationship with someone, how exactly can you cheat on that person? How does cheating work when you have one partner, but the nature of the relationship is explicitly open and you're free to be with different people? Do you start feeling like "oh, the person I'm in an open relationship with has slept with more people than I have, that must mean they're less invested in me" kinda thing? Is that the logic behind it? I'm genuinely curious, actually! Hopefully this post didn't sound judgemental because that's not my goal at all. I have personally never been in an open relationship before, but I'm more than okay with anybody who has. You should definitely feel free to date whichever way you feel more comfortable in as long as it's consensual with the other person and they know what's up.
	♪ ♥ ♫ Across The Universe


Mihawk	Apr 1 2015, 10:16 PM Post #43
Posts: 4,804 Group: Prodigy Member #4,783 Joined: March 2, 2010 Gender Not Specified	Strawberry Apr 1 2015, 10:14 PM if you're in an open relationship with someone, how exactly can you cheat on that person? Pretty much this. "Cheating" in an open relationship is not cheating.



Strawberry	Apr 1 2015, 10:21 PM Post #44
Chiaroscuro ♥ Posts: 17,000 Group: Rock Princess Member #1,750 Joined: September 24, 2006	Yeah that's what I was thinking, but I'm guessing there are a lot of complex, tricky layers to open relationships that I probably don't know about due to never being in one. Just wondering if any of our users who have tried open relationships can shed some light on the matter. Could potentially be interesting food for thoughts.
	♪ ♥ ♫ Across The Universe


+ Pyrus	Apr 1 2015, 10:25 PM Post #45
Posts: 39,342 Group: Legend Member #5,088 Joined: August 1, 2010 Gender Not Specified Country Chile	I googled some and found that there are many different levels of "open" relationships. Some allow flirting and dating but not intercourse, and some allow anything. I suppose it comes down to the parameters you've set up for that particular relationship.
	Spoiler: click to toggle


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