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| Online relationships | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 22 2014, 12:41 AM (329 Views) | |
| Pylons | Aug 22 2014, 12:41 AM Post #1 |
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So I needed to vent this somewhere. I met a girl online playing videogames. We talked on the phone, text, skyped and played together sometimes. She just had this sort of really cute quality about her that made me want to pursue her more than any girl I've ever met irl. She lived in the same state as me but 2 hours away. We never met up for one reason or another until recently over the summer she text me and asked me if I wanted to hang out. I was like YES this is my chance to see her but a part of me knew it wouldn't work out. We set a date to meet up around her 4 weeks in advance from then as that was the soonest she could get off work. So we talked, snapchat, skyped but it was mostly small stuff, no deep conversations because really how deep can you go without meeting someone. I'm not gonna lie over the 4 years that I'd known her I really did have feelings for her and at one point before this we stopped talking and I took it hard. This sort of made it's way into us talking again when I sort of brought up some of the stuff that happened to me in the past. Anyway, when we met online, I was incredibly antisocial, I didn't have friends, a job, wasn't in school, had no future. Fast forward 4 years and I had my life alittle bit in better shape and I thanked her for it because really if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have gone back to school or I wouldn't have gotten a job. I also tried to make friends and I made some "friends" but the problem was, I ended up taking some bad advice from them, sent her some dumb pictures and ended up ruining everything. It wasn't so much the pictures that ruined everything but the fact that I kept saying sorry after sending them that ended our friendship. I know she still cares about me and I think about her a lot, if I would've been patient and listened to myself and waited like 2 more weeks I would've gone down to see her for a weekend and who knows I could've had a gf. Even though we never met, I never put so much of myself out there for anyone and I don't think I will again, atleast not in the near future. Now that it's over I'm focusing 100% on school and my future, becoming the guy I think she would've wanted even though I never will see her again. Idk just thought I'd vent. I know this sounds ridiculous and I could very easily meet someone in real life but they aren't her to me. Maybe she wouldn't be what I'm imagining if I met her in person but she meant a lot. Some other stuff is it wouldn't have been my first time meeting someone I met online, I've met like 3-4 people I've met online and everytime it's not what I expected, for better or for worse. It would've been awkward for sure but definitely an experience I would've liked to have. Edited by Pylons, Aug 22 2014, 12:46 AM.
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| Let's Go Baby We Rollin'!!! | |
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| + Pelador | Aug 22 2014, 01:00 AM Post #2 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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That's too bad about what happened between you. I've made several errors myself which led to relationships breaking down so I know how it is. I don't like online relationships. I like to speak face to face because the way I come across online isn't the real me. I'm so much more likeable in person it's stupid. So if I ever did meet somebody I became good friends with over the internet, I'd like to meet them in person before taking it any further than friendship. Too bad I never get that far. As for you, I wouldn't worry about it. Things like this nearly always turn out for the better in the long run. You didn't meet this person ever but that just means you'll meet someone even better in the future. It's like you know how in Dragonball Z Goku died and everyone thought it was really terrible? But then his death meant that he got awesome training so that he could save the Earth from the Saiyans. Point is that sometimes good things come out of what seem like regrettable situations. Edited by Pelador, Aug 22 2014, 01:02 AM.
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![]() http://www.youtube.com/user/jonjits | |
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| POOHEAD189 | Aug 22 2014, 02:24 AM Post #3 |
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My only girlfriend I've ever had was online. Yes we met IRL and dated, but we met online first. It ended because of circumstances at her home, but we were very much in love for near 2 years. Online relationships are just as real as regular ones. Also Pylons, you're doing great. But don't say that you'll never talk to her again. You just might. And if you still have feelings for her, it's one more reason to keep going. Who knows, maybe one day you'll be confident enough to start talking to her again. I'll pray for you bud. I know exactly how you feel. |
| Tha gaol agam ort. <3 | |
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| RaineStorm | Aug 22 2014, 02:30 AM Post #4 |
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Short Version: I know what you are talking about, with long distances, shyness, attraction, miscommunications, and lost chances. Keep your chin up though, and remember the good things you have because of this experience. You're on the right track to a bright future. Long Rambling Story Version: I've had four major relationships, and many smaller ones. Two of the four major relationships I had were online, and I never did end up meeting either of them. One lasted 1.5 years, the other lasted 2.5 years. Both ended because of the strain of distance, not necessarily flaws as people. The distance opens up so many chances for miscommunication, and there's plenty to be said for the physical emptiness that grows too. They were the early relationships and they just came easier for me, especially since they developed and fizzled while I was younger and even more shy than I am now. On the internet it was easy for me to feel like I'm strong enough to be the person I wish I was - outgoing, talkative, friendly. The reality at that time couldn't have been farther from the truth, I was the quiet as a mouse girl in the corner who blushed when a boy looked at me and would have run from a room in tears because I couldn't say a simple "hello" to someone I wanted to be friends with. It's because I spent those years chatting with those boys on the phone (my record was 9 hours straight ) that I built the social skills so that in the last couple years of high school I was finally able to be (or at least act) normal. Because of that I can look back and say I'm actually really grateful to those two that brought me out of my shell and prepped me for IRL dating. Without them I might not have been able to talk to my husband when we met, and with how shy he was we probably never would have happened!
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Aug 22 2014, 03:48 AM Post #5 |
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Online relationships for me have never been anywhere near as deep as the ones I've had in real life, but that doesn't mean they can't still be real. What you went through happens to almost everyone at some point, so keep your head up and use that relationship as a stepping stone. The experience will help out in the future when you do meet that special person.
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| Mike XL | Aug 22 2014, 03:56 AM Post #6 |
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I think online relationships are fine if they eventually evolve into meeting the person face to face and going from there. Otherwise, they're a waste of time. You don't really know someone until you're met them, touched then, seen them, and actually done things with them. My take on it, anyway. |
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Aug 22 2014, 04:32 AM Post #7 |
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The older I get and the more relationships I go through, I realize that physically spending time together is the most important part of maintaining and strenghtening a relationship. That's what makes it grow. Hours on the phone, texting, skype, etc. are fine and all, but nothing is the same as physically spending time with another person. |
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| + Ryebrid | Aug 22 2014, 04:38 AM Post #8 |
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That was very inspiring RaineStorm. Well buddy, i'll try give you all my wisdom on the situation without trying to drag it out to long. First and foremost, don't make it about her. Don't suceed because you want to impress her or win her back, do it for yourself. I've been there and done that and it only has a negative impact on yourself. Find the drive to lead and fulfill your life, to become the best version of yourself you can be. Secondly, if you've said you're sorry multiple times about the incident with the phone, then leave it at that. Don't contact her anymore, don't let her think you're desperate. Let her come to you if she wants to, because she either needs space or has been turned off. Try pursue interest in other women, and in real life. I can assure you that there's a lot more women out there suitable for your taste, and ones that find themselves naturally attracted to you, are usually the best kind. It's hard to approach beautiful women, i know. I struggle sometimes myself. It's just something you have to constantly work on. It's all about the mindset. Third, i don't mean to be offensive to anyone, but there's generally a reason people resort to online dating. It could be for a number of reasons, like the ones expressed in here. What i'm saying is, you never really know a person until you actually get to know a person. No ones perfect even if they appear to be. Mostly everyone fronts with their best side but everyone has their faults. It may have been for the best that you didn't get involved in the first place. She stopped keeping in contact with you at one point so she was distracted by something enough to lose interest. Which could be anything or anyone. So to sum my thoughts up, focus on yourself and your education, it's much more important. Take it from someone who's already made that mistake in life. Girls are amazing but they'll always be there. Don't talk to her, let her come to you if she ever decides to speak with you again. Control the situation. Pursue a genuine interest in other women if you have the time, and try not to focus your thoughts on her and what could have been. It's said and done, so it was already time to move on. Try to stear away from online dating, you sound young so go out into the world! Acting out the real deal is a lot more healthier, beneficial, meaningful and real. Ultimately you make your own decisions, but i hope i helped guide your judgement. |
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4:39 PM Jul 13
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) that I built the social skills so that in the last couple years of high school I was finally able to be (or at least act) normal. Because of that I can look back and say I'm actually really grateful to those two that brought me out of my shell and prepped me for IRL dating. Without them I might not have been able to talk to my husband when we met, and with how shy he was we probably never would have happened!




4:39 PM Jul 13