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Son Gohan and Gyu-mao’s Training; A Dragon Ball Fanfic by Rogafufuken
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Topic Started: May 22 2014, 01:53 AM (2,092 Views)
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Rogafufuken
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May 22 2014, 01:53 AM
Post #1
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Here is the First chapter of the fanfic:
Spoiler: click to toggle Chapter 1:
It was a warm day on Mount Pazou. There was a steady breeze blowing through. In the forests of the mountain region, a young Son Gohan was training. He was kicking and punching a makeshift training dummy made of straw, that was hanging on a thick Oak tree. He had been kicking at it methodically for hours. “That’s enough for now,” he sighed “I’m famished” Gohan walked into his shrine-like hut. He opened one of the cupboards. “No bread.” He paused. “Better go get some in town” So he left the hut, and started on the trek to town. After the hour-long journey, he arrived. Down to the marketplace he went. He stopped at the local bread merchant’s stand. He handed over 50 zeni. “I would like 2 loafs sir” “Here you go” The merchant replied as he handed the loaves over. As he was leaving, two troublesome men walked over to the stand. One was a scrawny bald man in a leather jacket, holding a handgun. The other “man” was a muscular tiger, with his fist clenched. “Hand over the goods!” Demanded the bald man “Unless you want to spend a week in the hospital.” Said the tiger, with a sinister grin on his face. “I will, I will,” the merchant whimpered “just please, don’t hurt me.” Just before he could though, Son Gohan stepped in. “Leave him alone, you dirty thugs” “Oh, and you're gonna make us?” The tiger snorted “What can you do against us, you-” Then, just before the tiger could finish talking, Son Gohan yelled: “Jan-ken!” Gohan punched the tiger in the stomach, poked both his eyes, and then hit him in the face with his palm. It was an attack that he had created, and had been practicing for two days. He found inspiration for it while playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. After the attack, the tiger fell down in pain. “Ugh! Shoot him!” He yelled to the bald man. However, before the bald man could shoot Son Gohan, Gohan’s foot hit him right in the face, in a quick kick. He fell to the ground. Realizing Gohan’s power, the thugs ran away. As they ran away, Gohan stuck his tongue out at them. “Thank you!” The merchant said in relief. “How can I ever repay you” “Naw you don’t need to.” Gohan thought for a second. “Well, a free loaf of bread would be nice”. He smiled. “Sure.” The merchant replied. Gohan waited patiently. He thought to himself. Yes! I did the Jan-ken perfectly, just like I practiced! “You’re pretty good at martial arts, you know.” The merchant said as he handed Gohan the free loaf of bread. “Has anyone trained you?” “No, I’ve self trained so far” “I bet that if you trained under a master, you would get even better.” Gohan thought about what the merchant said. “I bet so.”
This is the first fanfiction that I written. I am not really a good writer in general IMO, but I decided to try.
So is it good? Any constructive criticism?
Edit: I read the rules to the section again, and I think it might be in need to be moved to the normal Fanworks scetion, Depending on how the Fanfic Zone works.
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SSJ
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May 22 2014, 01:56 AM
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I really like the direction that this is heading. So is this story going to focus on the background of Son?
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Rogafufuken
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May 22 2014, 01:59 AM
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- Super Saiyan
- May 22 2014, 01:56 AM
I really like the direction that this is heading. So is this story going to focus on the background of Son? Yeah, and Gyu-mao's in a few chapters as well. Though mainly on Gohan's backstory.
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SSJ
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May 22 2014, 02:02 AM
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You have me intrigued. This is an area that very few people visit, so it is nice to see someone writing about it.
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Rogafufuken
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May 22 2014, 02:08 AM
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I will probably try to make a new chapter weekly, if I can. It will depend on the week though.
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+ Emmeth
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May 22 2014, 02:11 AM
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I ♥ Yoeri
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I liked it. Interesting that you go for Gohan's past.
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Rogafufuken
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May 28 2014, 11:14 PM
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Update:
I have been having a writer's block of sorts recently, and I've been busy, so I have decided to wait unit my schools gets out to write Chapter 2.
It should be out in 2 weeks, however it could come out earlier though.
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Rogafufuken
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Jul 3 2014, 01:45 AM
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After weeks of procrastination, it's here-
Spoiler: click to toggle Chapter 2: Gohan sat at his rickety wooden table. What the merchant said was still fresh in his mind. He stood up. “I got it!” he said. “I’ll search across the world to find a master, so I can get even better at fighting. Maybe someday, I can help people!” Suddenly, he sighed and sat down. “What would happen if I left though?” he pondered. “Well, I don’t have to take care of mother anymore…” Gohan’s mother had died years ago, in in poor health. After fighting a severe case of pneumonia for months, she died. Gohan grieved her for a long time. Gohan shed a tear, though wiped it away quickly. “And of course not father either” As for his father, he left Gohan and his mother when Gohan was very young. The final nights before his departure had not been pleasant. He left Gohan and his mother poor. “Damn him!” Gohan writhed in anger. Gohan’s father, Godan, was two of the reasons that Gohan got into fighting. Godan taught Gohan some martial arts, and after he left, Gohan trained more in martial arts to let out his anger, and maybe someday, get revenge. “I need to calm down.” Gohan said, taking a deep breath. “I’ll start preparations for my search” Gohan got a leather bag, and packed. He didn’t pack much, only a novel, some pots and pans, some clothes, and his lowly, yet durable wooden staff. He then headed out of his house; His life defining adventure had started.
It's not as long as the first chapter, and it's kind of filler, though I hope you enjoy it.
Comment on what you think about it.
Also, mods, I think this should be moved just to the normal Fanworks section.
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SSJ
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Jul 3 2014, 05:24 AM
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Moved the topic.
And very good chapter, I like the prospect of Gohan wanting revenge on his father. Excited to see how he goes about these emotions.
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Rogafufuken
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Jul 10 2014, 02:04 AM
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The new chapter is here:
Spoiler: click to toggle Chapter 3: Almost 4 days after his departure, Gohan had yet to have found a proper master. Yes, he had come across a few people who could teach him, though none of them seemed fit for him, Some too formal, too strict, not experienced enough, too commercialized. Even too expensive. “It is dishonorable to charge people for martial arts!” Gohan yelled as he was “escorted” out of Chin’s Fighting Academy. “Speak for yourself, peasant” the leader said. Gohan was shaking in anger. “You take that ba-” though before he could finish, the guards holding on to him threw him out. “Such scum, how dare he!” Gohan murmured. “Get out of the road!” Some guy yelled. Gohan scurried off the road. He hadn’t gotten used to the city and it’s cars. The smell of smoke was in the air. Maybe this isn’t the best place to find a good teacher. Oh well, I must persist. His stomach rumbled. Jeez, can’t you wait, I need to look. Ignoring his hunger, he kept on searching. Teacher after teacher came up as possibilities, but none were right for him. Eventually he got to the last straw. “ARE THERE NO GOOD MARTIAL ART’S TEACHERS IN EAST CITY!” He bellowed, causing hundreds of heads to turn. “Hehehe, carry on” he said awkwardly. By then it was already dusk, and he decided to call it a day and stop looking for a master. He found the nearest bar, and settled down for a drink. As he sat there, a large man approached him. “Hey there” the man greeted. Gohan simply nodded. Ignoring Gohan’s apparent unwelcomeness, the man continued talking. “I heard what you yelled out there earlier” “Oh, here to chew me out and defend the masters in East City, aren’t you.” Gohan sighed. “No, I’m not here to do that” The man replied. “I empathize with you. I’ve lived here my whole life, and I’ve never found a good teacher here.” “Your point is?” Gohan questioned. “Well, I thought we could team up to travel across the world to find a worthy master.” The man answered. “That sounds like a great idea, I’m in!” Gohan said in a jolt of enthusiasm. “Good to hear that. By the way my name’s Gyu-mao, what’s your’s?” “It’s Son Gohan. Or just Gohan.” Gohan replied. “I’ll buy you a drink if you want.” “Sure” Gohan got Gyu-mao one and handed it to him. “Cheers to our new team-up?” Gyu-mao said, lifting his mug. “Cheers!”
What do you think about it?
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Professor Gohan
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Jul 13 2014, 03:20 PM
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Wow, this is good. I too like the direction that this is going. It' really awesome to see some background of Son Gohan before he became Grampa Gohan. Heck yeah. I'm tuned in. Hooked. I hope this continues.
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Rogafufuken
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Jul 18 2014, 11:05 PM
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- Professor Gohan
- Jul 13 2014, 03:20 PM
Wow, this is good. I too like the direction that this is going. It' really awesome to see some background of Son Gohan before he became Grampa Gohan. Heck yeah. I'm tuned in. Hooked. I hope this continues. I'm glad to here that I have another fan.
I try to make them weekly, usually on Wednesday.
Sometimes it might be every other week though.
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Rogafufuken
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Jul 24 2014, 01:17 AM
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Here is the new chapter:
Spoiler: click to toggle Chapter 4: That next morning, Gohan got up early. Him and Gyu-mao had set up camp late the previous night, though it was a lousy camp at that. Both the darkness and their drunkenness contributed to that.Gohan packed everything up. After he was done, he noticed that Gyu-mao hadn’t gotten up yet. “How lazy.” He kicked Gyu-mao’s makeshift sleeping bag. “Aw what the hell!” Gyu-mao yelled. Then he looked over at Gohan. “What’s wrong with you! It’s only-” He paused to look at his watch. “5:45 in the morning! The sun hasn’t even come up yet!” Gohan took notice to what the time was. “Well… the more time we have to look for a master each day, the better.” Gyu-mao rolled his eyes, though he got up and got ready anyways. Then they left. South they went. At noon, they arrived at a village. “You know, I have an idea.” Gohan said abruptly. “What?” “Maybe there’s someone here who knows about any good martial arts masters.” They immediately started asking anyone in sight. After asking countless people, to no avail, they came to an old woman. “Yes, I know of someone who meets your qualification.” She said. “Tell us more” they both eagerly said. “I heard that he lives in the islands off the coasts of here. They call him the Turtle Hermit. Apparently he always wears a turtle shell, and that he makes any of his apprentices wear them too. He even is able to shoot a blast of blue energy out of his hands. “Woah what” Gyu-mao uttered in awe. “Amazing!” Gohan said! “Yes very.” Replied the old woman. “There are other weird things I’ve heard about him too. That he’s 100’s of years old, and that he keeps a collection of dirty magazines.” Gohan snickered. Gy-mao and the old woman looked at him with faces of disappointment. “Ahem, well anyways. How can we tell which island he is on, on the map I have it shows dozens of islands in the South Sea?” Gohan asked. “The Turtle Hermit’s island has a pink house on it with the words ‘Kame House’ on it in all capital letters. You can’t miss it if you keep looking.” The old woman answered. “So Gohan, should we go train under this ‘Turtle Hermit’, he sounds promising” Gyu-mao said. “I can tell that he’s the right one for us. We should.” “I must tell you though, the Turtle Hermit doesn’t just accept anyone who asks.” the old woman warned. “I think we’re good.” Gohan said confidently. “Good luck!” the old woman said. They nodded. The duo got a boat and set out to sea. They rowed through rough waters. Then suddenly, a pink object was in sight. “There it is.” Gohan notified Gyu-mao “The place that will change our lives.”
How do you guys like it?
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Rogafufuken
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Jul 28 2014, 03:18 PM
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Anyone?
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Professor Gohan
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Jul 28 2014, 03:34 PM
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Haha, nice chapter. I like to imagine who they both raise later on in the future.
They're about to train under Roshi. And they thought 5:45 was early. Lol. I'm ready to see how the training will go. I wonder if they have to earn their training.
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