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Dragon Ball AZ
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Topic Started: Apr 21 2014, 11:30 PM (4,331 Views)
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Professor Gohan
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Sep 12 2014, 10:33 PM
Post #46
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I'm caught up, Super. This is really good. I love all of the new powers.
The Philosophy Stone and Philosopher is really cool. I really liked his character in chapter 9. Keep it up. I'll be here, my friend.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Sep 14 2014, 02:37 PM
Post #47
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I'm all caught up now and wow, certainly got the power aspect down lol. I can definitely see some Naruto influences within your work. I'm also liking the inclusion of elements in this, and not just broad ki.
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NinjaSushi Colouring Credit to NinjaSushi for the colouring
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Sep 15 2014, 06:24 PM
Post #48
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Transcendent
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Chapter 10:
Spoiler: click to toggle Narrator: Last time on Dragon Ball AZ! Piccolo vs Dark Philosopher continued! Dark Philosopher revealed his trump card, and Piccolo displayed his powers.
August 27, Age 789 16:00PM
Piccolo: *pant*... That one was really close!
Piccolo was levitating above the place which used to be the Philosopher's palace. Most of his costume was destroyed.
*wing breaks*
Piccolo: Damn! I don't have enough power to fly.
Piccolo fell from a great height.
Piccolo: *pant pant pant* I guess the the after effect of the technique is taking its toll right now.... Arrgh....
Piccolo got extremely fatigued, and showed some signs of pain. He lost his costume, and his strong ki from before is rapidly dropping.
Piccolo: Damn it....
Piccolo slowly fell unconscious.
Narrator: Piccolo's powers are based on restrictions and vows. He placed 4 restrictions, and one vow. The first one is only being capable of using his powers once a few years passed, the second is to gather energy for more than year and never use that energy during that year, third is only using it against enemies who harmed his friends, and the last one to use it for a very limited amount of time. In this scenario, he overused his powers. The vow he placed here is to get tortured by his power if he overused his powers. That vow he placed is to avoid something far WORSE than death itself!
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August 27, Age 789 16:00PM
Goku: I gotta go check up on Piccolo.
King Kai: You shouldn't go there. I already know what's up with Piccolo, and that he's safe from anything right now. I don't feel the Dark Philosopher's ki anymore, so that should be more than good for now. You should go ahead to the battlefield on Earth. Your friends are there. However, I don't think Piccolo is in the condition to fight with you there.
Goku: What's up with him?
King Kai: Hmm... He's probably exhausted from this fight. You know, he used an extreme amount of power before.
Goku: I guess so. Let me see. Hmm... Gohan would be a good idea. Catch up with ya later!
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August 27, Age 789 16:00PM
Uub (to himself): What was that? That was the most powerful thing I ever felt in my life.
Ming: ...
Vegeta: Ah!!! What was that power? Was it Kakarot? Was it the enemy?
Trunks: That.. that was so extreme.
Goten: For sure!
Pan (to herself): I felt grandpa's power before, but it's not even close to this. Is that a friend or a foe?
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August 27, Age 789 16:00PM
Uub (to himself): There's no time to think about anything here. She's extremely strong, and the potion has a very limited duration. I need to end it with this right now!
Ming (to herself): I can't read his mind nor control him. That's strange, but I will kill him.
Uub charged to Ming with strings on his fingers.
Ming: Futile! They won't work.
Uub launched a string at Ming's arm, and successfully wrapped it.
Ming: What? They won't change?
The moment Ming realized her mistake, Uub pulled her, and connected a heavy blow on her face.
Uub: That's it!
Ming: You thought everything about me was just my ability?
The moment Ming said that, Uub attacked her with a ki wave.
Uub (to himself): She talks way too much. Now that I....
Before Uub could think about what he was going to do, he got punched in the chest, sending him to the edge of the lookout.
Ming: Those strings are surely strong.
Uub: Damn... She's very strong. I think I need to go all out....
Uub took off his dress, displaying a heavy chest-plate.
Ming: That's the reason I couldn't shatter him, or is it?
Uub took off that chest plate, threw it up high, and blasted it.
Uub: Do you know if that chest-plate hit the ground, it would be really really chaotic?
Ming: Why would I even care? Why did you remove it in the first place?
Uub: So I can finally fight with you!
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August 27, Age 789 16:00PM
Sergeant: Launch the craft right now. We're heading to a planet called Earth. Be ready for an all out war!
Soldiers: UNDERSTOOD!
---
The long waited fight between Uub and Ming finally started. Piccolo vs Dark Philosopher reached an apparent conclusion, and the rest of the Z-Fighters are heading to the battlefield. The army finally started heading to Earth, but are their intentions good?
All to be continued!
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Professor Gohan
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Sep 15 2014, 06:28 PM
Post #49
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What's up with the chest plate?? Are you able to explain more about it, or do I have to wait?
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Sep 15 2014, 08:28 PM
Post #50
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滅Are you frightened?
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You and Yusuke are the same, gotta stop when we're hooked... good job .
I couldn't help but remember Superman when you mentioned limits. Exactly how long ago did Piccolo have such an ability?
Like PG said, I'm curious about his plate he discarded.
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Sep 16 2014, 10:46 AM
Post #51
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- xGOKUdaFALLENx
- Sep 15 2014, 08:28 PM
You and Yusuke are the same, gotta stop when we're hooked... good job  . I couldn't help but remember Superman when you mentioned limits. Exactly how long ago did Piccolo have such an ability? Like PG said, I'm curious about his plate he discarded. This takes place after the 28th Budokai Tenkaichi. Exactly 5 years after the tournament, where Uub finished his training.
In the break between the Budokai Tenkaichi and the current Arc.
You can think of it as a weighted clothing. Not going to say anything more than this.
EDIT: From 0 to 10, what will you give this chapter? Do you like the new narrator system?
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Sep 16 2014, 12:18 PM
Post #52
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滅Are you frightened?
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Its gave important factual info regarding Piccolo's change, so it's pretty decent.
A 7.8, I think if it were a few hundred words longer I would have given it 8.
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Professor Gohan
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Sep 16 2014, 12:53 PM
Post #53
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I like the narrator system. In my opinion that and the chapter(s) should be a little longer. It seems once I get started reading it's over.
But... only you personally know what's necessary for your own story. You're the one who knows how long your chapter(s) need to be for you to execute whatever.
I'm not bringing up my own story here in your thread, but that's why I'm currently using a 10,000 characters system, so I can run my story at the pace I need to keep it flowing good, less dragging, just so my readers won't get bored and can get through it well.
That's why I don't usually pay any mind to how long someone's chapter is. But it would indeed be nice if they were a little longer, so I can start soaking in more information for what's going on.
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Sep 16 2014, 04:33 PM
Post #54
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Well, all of my chapters were less than 10,000 characters. I wanted to be consistent, but I sense a drop of material in each chapter. I'll be working on the 10,000 characters with the new chapter.
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Sep 25 2014, 04:12 PM
Post #55
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Chapter 11: Extra Special!
Spoiler: click to toggle Narrator: Last time on Dragon Ball AZ! The fight between Uub and Ming continues, and the Sergeant is up to invading the Earth!
August 27, Age 789 16:00PM
Uub: How many years have it been since I felt light? I'm even lighter than before!
Ming: His power increased significantly! He might pose a threat now. I need take him down, and finish the mission as soon as possible.
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Vegeta: Is that that Earthling's power?!
Pan: It is Uub's power! He's much stronger than before!
Trunks: What an impressive power!
Goten: Sure it is!
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Uub: Here I go!
Uub rushed towards Ming, stepped hard on the ground, and jumped so hard the ground shattered.
Ming: ...
Uub kicked the air so hard, it became a platform to change his course towards Ming.
Ming: What?
Uub (to himself): That was a little trick I learned when I was training.
Uub tried to punch Ming, but she successfully blocked his punch. They exchanged a lot of hits, and Uub took a step back.
Uub: She's tough. I don't know how many punches those were, but none of those hits affected you much, right?
Ming: You should still give some credit to yourself. You managed to block my strikes too.
Uub: Yeah...
Ming: What will you do now? Resort to a weapon? Bring more people to fight? I sense some people on their way here.
Uub (to himself): She's right. I sense Vegeta, Trunks, Goten, and Pan.
Ming (to herself): I should dispose of him before they come.
Ming conjured a black orb with her hands.
Uub: What's that? It gives me the chills....
Ming: This is the end.
Ming's appearance shattered, and in that same moment, appeared next to Uub. She enlarged the black orb with the intent to make it devour Uub.
Uub: Shii...
A black sphere formed that covered a distance of 100 feet.
Ming: Mission complete.
Uub: You're wrong!
Ming: What? How did he survive?
Narrator: Uub used a technique to change his place to an another at the cost of his own ki. He changed places with the strings which he used earlier during his fight against Ming. However, it eats up very large quantity of his aura.
Uub: I changed places with my strings.
Ming: It looks like you don't have enough power to fight anymore. You're going to just die anyway. Why delay it?
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Vegeta: Uub's power decreased a lot. He's going to lose this fight. I'm going to beat her.
Pan: Why are you so happy with that?
Trunks: She's right. Our friend is in danger.
Vegeta: I don't care about that. I'm the one who's going to beat her. Why fight her to begin with?
Goten: He might have saved Popo and Dende. That's why he's putting his life on the line. He's trying to save us!
Vegeta: Trash. If he can't handle the fight, then don't fight. If you did, then eat up your mistake and die!
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Uub: You're wrong, again.
Ming: What? Are you bluffing?
Uub (to himself): I'm sorry, Goku. I really need to do this.
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Goku: *shock* What was that? I'm feeling uneasy.
Videl: Are you feeling sick?
Goku: No, though there's something that strikes me in the head. I'm fine.
Gohan wakes up.
Gohan: Ahh...
Videl: Gohan!
Chi Chi: GOHAN!
Chi Chi ran straight to the room.
Chi Chi: I'm so glad you're safe! *hugs him*
Gohan: Ahh... that hurts... I'm hope you guys are doing fine.
Gohan notices Goku.
Gohan: Father!
Goku: Hey, Gohan! How are you doing? I hope you're doing just fine.
Gohan: I'm feeling decent. When did you come back? Did you finally finish training Uub?
Goku: Yeah, I taught him everything I know.
Goku remembers something about the training, and the smile goes away...
Gohan: What's up, father?
Goku: Ehh... Nothing...
Gohan: Oh! Where's Pan?
Videl: She left with Vegeta, Trunks, and Goten to go and save her friend.
Gohan: Oh yeah... I fought her. She was extremely strong, but I wasn't feeling well when I fought her. Even when I just felt her aura, I was panicking.
Goku: Why is that happening? When I fought a similar opponent, I wasn't feeling any of that.
Gohan: I'm feeling much better now. We need to go to them. Arrgh....
Chi Chi: You're not fine, are you? You should stay here and recover.
Gohan: I will go. This is for the sake of Pan. What happened to her other friend?
Videl: You mean Lina?
Gohan: Yeah.
Videl: She's stable... However.... Her condition is extremely bad. I took her to Bulma.
Gohan: Damn it... How bad is it?
Goku: Gohan, let us go and check on her there, with my Instant Transmission.
Videl: I can't describe it....
Gohan: Okay.
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Sergeant: How far away from Earth are we?
Solider: We're going to reach there soon.
Sergeant: Good. Have you prepared absolutely everything?
Solider: Yes.
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Uub: Sorry, everyone! I'm going to do this...
Ming: What is he talking about?
Uub slapped his hands together, releasing a huge amount of aura.
Ming: His power is increasing drastically!
Uub's eyes begun shining bright! So bright it temporarily blinded Ming.
Ming: Damn it...
Uub ripped his shirt off, and chanted a long chain of words.
Ming: Such power...
A huge flash appeared, enveloping the lookout, and even Vegeta and the rest clearly saw it.
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Vegeta: What's that bright light!
Pan: I can't see...
Goten: We all cannot see!
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Uub: I feel so refreshed...
Ming: Huh?!
Uub: ...
Ming (to herself): This guy... changed?! He looks that he matured, and buffed up! He grew a lot taller, and his hair is extremely long, flying straight up! He doesn't even have any aura! What happened to it? Did he lose it? What is this kind of madness?
Uub: What is this?
Ming: *swallows*
Uub: I'm going to purify you!
Ming: What?
Uub came in fast, faster than even what Ming can see, punched her to horizon, in the face, sending her out of the orbit!
Ming: *screams in pain* How could you do this?
Uub appeared behind her, kicking her back to Earth, straight into the depths of the ocean!
Ming: *drowning* Damn it.... Why can't I control him? Is that possible? He can do that without his Ki?!
Uub appeared next to her, kicking her again in the stomach, out of the ocean, and to the sky. She successfully managed to weaken his kick.
Ming: Damn... Did he somehow sacrifice all of that aura from before to achieve this kind of physical strength and speed? I need to get my defenses to the absolute maximum. Now, I should use tha....
Uub: I won't let you.
Uub tightened his muscles as much as he could, and punched her as strong as he ever could in the chest.
Ming: *coughing blood and losing conscious*
Uub's punch was so powerful, it shattered Ming's chest. He sent her flying for kilometers and kilometers, until she crashed into an island. The island was sinking from that powerful strike!
Ming was in an awkward position, lying on a tree
Ming: *coughing blood and barely breathing* I get what he said about purifying now.... He wants to get rid of that stone, but even with that kind of strength, he won't destroy it... He's now making it go unstable...
Uub: *stares with dead dark eyes at Ming*
Ming (to herself): I can't talk, but I'm sure he can't sense the ki the stone is emitting. Someone needs to get it back in control...
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Vegeta: What's that ki? It's going low and high!
Pan: I remember! This is a little different, but that was the ki the stone emitted when I first found it. It's very dangerous at this point I think.
Trunks: Then we need to get there as soon as possible.
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Sergeant: FOOLS! THE STONE IS NOW UNSTABLE! IT WILL KILL US ALL!
Captain: What's happening? The stone is unstable now? What's going to happen?
Sergeant: Are we there yet?
Solider: Yes, we reached there.
Sergeant: Open the door!
Solider: But it's not...
Sergeant: OPEN THE DOOR!
Solider: YES SIR!
Sergeant (to himself): It's now time to retrieve the stone.
...: Is it time to appear?
Sergeant: Huh? Oh yeah, come, there's no one here.
...: Did we reach the destination now?
Sergeant: Yes, Shadow. We're going to jump off this door to the place where the stone is.
Shadow: Let us do it!
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Goku: Bulma! How are you?
Bulma: Oh it's you, Goku! How many years has it been?
Gohan: Hey, Bulma!
Bulma: Hey Gohan!
Gohan: Where is Lina? The girl who Videl brought to you here?
Bulma: Ehh... She's there. She's in a stable condition, which is good.
Gohan: Let us see her.
Bulma: Okay.
Bulma took both Goku and Gohan to the special room which Lina resides there.
Bulma: There she is.
Gohan: She's fully bandaged up! What's the problem?
Bulma: Check her arm.
Gohan pulls her arm, and his face completely changed. His eyes went pale.
Gohan: Wha.. wha.. WHAT IS THIS?
Goku: That's insane!
Lina's arm was in a horrific state. She was stable, but the condition she's in is way beyond description.
Bulma: Her current state is way beyond help. That's why I waited for you guys. We need the Dragon Balls for this.
Gohan: Absolutely. We need to get the Dragon Balls as soon as possible.
Goku: Alright! Hold my shoulder, Gohan. We're heading towards Vegeta and the rest.
---
Goku: Hey guys!
All of them stopped.
Vegeta: Kakarot! Where were you? What are you doing now?
Goten: Dad! I've missed you! Where have you been?
Trunks: Goku! It's nice to see you around here.
Gohan: Hey guys!
Trunks: Hey Gohan!
Goten: Uub fought that girl, but his Ki vanished.
Gohan: Vanished?
Goku: Did he do it? Was that uneasiness coming from Uub? He should have never done that. We need to get there as soon as possible.
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Sergeant: Soldiers! We're now going to invade this planet. We spotted a few guys, you should go there and fight them. They'll be hostile.
Soldiers: Understood!
Sergeant: Shadow, here we go! We located the whereabouts of the stone. The army will head to the people with the strong power, while we head to the stone. We need to jump here.
Shadow: Yes, let us go.
Both the sergeant and Shadow jumped from the space to the location. They flew to the orbit, and then accelerated at insane speeds. They finally reached the sunken Island. They crashed on the island, resulting in it getting destroyed even more. That alerted both Uub and Ming.
Ming: Huh?!
Uub: ...
Sergeant: So this is Earth... It seems to be a nice planet.
Shadow: But the gravity here is extremely low. Our planet is different from this planet. In size, density, and gravity.
Sergeant: That's more favorable to us. Anyways, there is the stone. I knew there will be a host. That's why I prepared my suit.
Shadow: So it finally worked?
Sergeant: After a very hard time of planning this suit, it finally worked. There's someone beside the stone user.
Shadow: Shall I take him out? He doesn't seem powerful at all.
Sergeant: Go ahead. The stone user seems to be unable to move at all. That will be easy to extract.
Uub: Who are you?
Shadow: I am the one who will kill you.
Uub: ...
---
Goku: There are two guys who appeared on the planet. I don't know them. They appeared by the stone's location.
Pan: Then we need to get there now!
Captain Mugan: You'll all be staying here!
Trunks: What?
Vice Captain Senshu: We'll destroy you along everyone in this planet.
Luna: Yes, we're stopping you!
Vegeta: Shut up! You guys die before I kill you! Get out of my way!
Captain Mugan: You're feeling full of yourself, aren't you?
Gohan: Vegeta, leave him to me. You, and dad head to Pan's friend.
Trunks: Yes, leave them to us!
Goku: Okay. Vegeta, let us go there!
Vegeta: Hmm...
Vice Captain Senshu: I won't let you!
Trunks drew his sword, and stopped Senshu's sword from getting to Vegeta.
Trunks: You won't get near him.
Vice Captain Senshu: Here's a swordsman. I hope you will entertain me.
Captain Mugan: So you'll be fighting me?
Gohan: Fighting you? I will kill you.
Captain Mugan: Then be it!
Luna: That leaves me with you, right?
Goten: I'm not going to hold back. I'm going to take you down at full force!
Captain Mugan: Soldiers! Go and invade the planet. Get everything you could!
Pan: I'm not going to let you hurt our planet! I'm going to beat you all!
Solider: This little girl is going to fight us?
Pan disappeared and appeared at the solider's face, punched him, and sent him flying.
Soldiers: We won't go easy on you, girl!
Pan: Here I come!!!
---
The fight between Uub and Ming apparently ended, with Uub drawing a huge amount of power by sacrificing himself. The Sergeant finally invaded Earth, but his army was stopped by the Z Fighters. Goku and Vegeta are heading to the location of the Sergeant. Shadow picks a fight with Uub.
All to be continued!
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Sep 25 2014, 04:29 PM
Post #56
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滅Are you frightened?
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Lol damn! Your Uub is amazingly powerful. Narration is sweet too. Who're the army forces again and what's your mini tier list?
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Sep 26 2014, 10:13 AM
Post #57
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Transcendent
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- xGOKUdaFALLENx
- Sep 25 2014, 04:29 PM
Lol damn! Your Uub is amazingly powerful. Narration is sweet too. Who're the army forces again and what's your mini tier list? Uub had to sacrifice everything he had to achieve this kind of power. Lol, you don't remember? They were at the very beginning of the story. Go and re-read the first chapter. You'll know them.
Mini Tier list? What do you mean with that?
From 1 to 10, how much will you give this chapter?
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Dec 26 2014, 08:44 PM
Post #58
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Transcendent
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Wow, wow, wow! It has been three entire months since the last time I posted here. What the heck?
Sorry guys. I'll be back to this as soon as I can. I'm just so sorry.
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Mar 2 2015, 02:38 AM
Post #59
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滅Are you frightened?
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I hope this isn't canceled lol
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May 7 2015, 08:58 PM
Post #60
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Transcendent
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It's not, rest assured. I was extremely busy with life and school, I couldn't write chapters. With the summer vacation, I'm going to surely finish this arc.
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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