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| Beauty and What Defines Us. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 10 2014, 02:44 PM (2,080 Views) | |
| Strawberry | Jan 10 2014, 02:44 PM Post #1 |
Chiaroscuro ♥
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I spent a long time deciding where to make this topic; I guess this isn't necessarily going to promote a lot of debate per say, but I figured it was still food for thoughts and it would be a shame to leave it anywhere else on the forum. I wanted to share with all of you a story that has inspired me and moved me beyond belief. I have already shared it on facebook so if you're friends with me there you might have already seen it. Meet Lizzie Velasquez:  This young lady was born with an extremely rare syndrome that keeps her from gaining any weight, she has 0 percent body fat and has never weighed more than 64 pounds (29 kg) in her life. She is NOT anorexic -- that's a completely different territory -- her system simply can't put on weight naturally. Her condition is also not terminal, she just has a much more challenging life due to her weak immune system and partial blindness.... oh, and let's not forget: severe bullying -- she was labelled the World's Ugliest Woman once. Luckily Lizzie had a great support system around her and was able to turn something negative and toxic into something remarkably positive. She became an author and motivational speaker and is currently one of the leading faces of True Beauty campaigns all around the world. I urge you to listen to one of her recent speeches from the end of last year where she briefly touches up on all of her life struggles and how she used them to strengthen herself. This is definitely worth your time, I promise. I watched this a couple nights ago and found it to be absolutely inspirational and touching. I just couldn't help falling in love with this woman. Not just because she obviously faced a lot of discrimination and hardships growing up -- it's not a pity type of situation here -- but genuinely because she is amazing. She's witty, graceful, intelligent, well-spoken, eloquent, charming, ambitious and admirably brave. And I find all of those qualities to be some of the best qualities a human being can possess. I finished watching this video thinking to myself just how transparently beautiful Lizzie really was. And that's the message I wanted to put out/reinforce with this thread: outter beauty is and will always be subjective and trivial; inner beauty IS beauty. The only people who can legitimately be called ugly are people with ugly personalities/substance/intentions. Our bodies are nothing more than the bag that carries our bones, guts and blood. Our heads are nothing more than what carries the actual good stuff in us: our brain; who we are. I am a firm believer that you should learn to love and express your outter beauty as much as possible as that's an exercise of self confidence and self-worth that is not only needed in today's society, but healthy as well. That said, when you're beautiful you're ALWAYS beautiful, no matter how skinny, fat, short, tall, conventional or quirky looking you are. And it's a big old shame that we're still to this day so insecure/obsessed with our outter appearance that we feel entitled to set unrealistic standards for both men and women alike on a daily basis, as well as judge other people's appearances so harshly -- even with we deal with insecurities ourselves and know how damaging that is. I honestly believe every single public AND private school on this Earth should provide kids a mandatory Social Justice/Awareness class. We need it. We need to open up our minds to stories like Lizzie's and fully understand their meaning and what they stand for. There's still so much to learn about the subtleties of our existence and what connects us to each other. Being beautiful is just one of those many lessons, and I hope everybody who reads this thread manages to take something away from it as I did when I came across Lizzie's speech. |
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| SaiyanHajime | Jan 10 2014, 03:02 PM Post #2 |
 
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I literally just watched her TED talk, what a weird coincidence! Gonna be honest, she didn't really say anything in the video that resonated with me. Her life is interesting and brings about hard questions. Hard questions with difficult answers and ones society would rather push under the carpet. Unfortunately, most of us are visual creatures primarily, and we make judgements based on the way things look first and foremost. The internet has changed that, and that's interesting in itself.  Now we're judging one another by their grammatical ability. How's this any better, really? Unfortunately our bodies are not just bags that carry us around. They do define us. Even Lizzie is defined by her bag. We don't just make choices about how to dress our bags, but in many cases our lives take routes for better or worse defined by the way we look. Would Lizzie be a motivational speaker if it wasn't for the way she looked? Well maybe, but she speaks about issues that are very much about the way she looks. I think we should just be more open minded full stop. It's not about beauty, but about people as a whole package, of which visual appearance is a part. It all matters and it all doesn't matter. It always pains me when the same people who'd snap at anyone judging someone for the way they look would then bully others about their spelling ability. I'm dyslexic and so, for me, the way it's become a social norm to aggressively ridicule those who clearly struggle with written words online stands out. For everyone there will be a similar aspect of being human that others mock. I personally think that ridiculing someone's brain is far more powerful and cruel, but I'm well aware that's PERSONAL. Beauty in itself is, like everything, in the eyes of the beholder anyway. When I look at Lizzie, I doesn't even occur to me to judge her as beautiful or ugly. Arguably what I see is worse... I'm filled with curiosity. I want to know more about her condition and her life. It does define her and ironically speaking about how it doesn't just kinda confirms that for me. |
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| Copy_Ninja | Jan 10 2014, 03:18 PM Post #3 |
Novacane for the pain
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Is this necessarily a bad thing though? I mean, of course the ridicule and hardships caused by people's cruelty certainly is, but I don't think the curiosity would be. It's natural really. She has a rare condition which gives her an appearance out of the ordinary. Anything that goes against the grain is going to arouse interest and curiosity by its very nature. Just being curious about things like this is more of a neutral response than positive or negative, or at least I think so anyway. Standards of physical appearance are bulls*** and the majority of the blame has to go towards the entertainment industry. All we ever see thrown in our faces from magazines, TV shows, movies etc. is these people with small waistlines, big muscles, perfect teeth, perfect everything. People see that and it sets a standard that's stupidly high. I saw this great picture the other day, where I think it was Cosmopolitan put up a picture of a "plus sized model" and she was just an average looking woman (if anything she was on the thinner side of average). It's just ridiculous. |
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| SaiyanHajime | Jan 10 2014, 03:29 PM Post #4 |
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It's potentially unintentionally dehumanising. Especially since she apparently doesn't want to be defined by her condition. So for me to be more curious about it than other aspects of her life is probably offensive. |
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| Strawberry | Jan 10 2014, 03:40 PM Post #5 |
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Chiaroscuro ♥
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@SaiyanHajime That was beautifully put. I agree and don't agree at the same time. Lizzie's story is to me a prime example of outter beauty NOT defining you. It undoubtely interferes with your life and social experiences as well as your perception of yourself at certain points of your life, but that's not to say it actually defines you. My definition of definition (ha, inception  ) is deeper than that. I think the things that define you as a human being must be correlated with what actually goes on in your head and in that sense your outter appearance will only define you if you choose to let it define you -- which was Lezzie's main point all along. Society is built over a bunch of very frail structures that have been kept alive due to people's lack of understanding of this.You can apply the clone example here; or even the perfect twin example. Two people who look exactly identical, one is charming, smart, respectful, well-mannered, attentive and kind; and the other is vile, perverse, rude, dumb and vicious. If beauty played any significant role in our definition as human beings these two people would have to be seen unjustly their whole lives. Do you see where I'm going with this? Outter appearance can at most stimulate/create events in your life, which could ultimately help giving you more tools to define yourself mentally. But it's never what actually defines you, it's never at the core of the definition anyway. A person like Lizzie could very well have gone the extreme opposite and become a cold person consumed by hatred, hiding in her corner. She didn't. Because she let her solid support system and her morals/education/goals be what defines her. Her syndrome helped her get to where she is now and she's the first one saying she became a motivational speaker due to her condition, but that is because SHE did it, SHE believed in her message first of all; it's still a mental force, if you will. I'm not trying to dismiss or overlook the importance of outter appearance specially contextualized in today's society. I'm just disputing the fact that it defines you. |
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| Copy_Ninja | Jan 10 2014, 03:57 PM Post #6 |
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Novacane for the pain
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Eh, I'm not sure about that. Just looking at a picture of her without knowing anything else about her, that's always going to be the natural reaction because it's all you have to go on. It's the same with looking at a picture of anyone. If I see a picture of a person that looks really fit, I wonder what their workout routine might be to be in that kind of condition. Looking at a picture of anyone is going to lead to some kind of snapshot opinion. I think it's only a problem when you have more information than just a picture and still choose to focus on her appearance. |
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| SaiyanHajime | Jan 10 2014, 04:03 PM Post #7 |
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Ah, yes I see your point Strawberry. Thing is. If she was anyone else saying what she is, we'd ignore it. It's certainly far from profound and the kind of thing people have been challenging for years. At no point in that video is any educated person going to go "oh my GOD shes so RIGHT my entire worldview is TRANSFORMED!" We're only listening because of the way she looks. And it's the same with me, in a seeeemingly (just wait) weird backwards way, when I raise dyslexia awareness. People only listen to me because I don't seem stupid. That shatters people's preconceptions about dyslexics as stupid or lazy people who aren't trying hard enough. Do people expect similar of Lizzie? I dunno, but probably. I've worked a job where I come into contact with a lot of disabled people, both mental and physical. It sounds horrible, but you have to learn to treat people equally and not make assumptions. It's not a natural human behavior and it's not always easy. A lot of people in wheelchairs report that people assume they are also mentally disabled, and talk to their carer instead of them or speak slowly, etc. I treat everyone equally, now. Or try my best. I change my behavior as I learn about them. When I realise their foreign and struggle to understand me, I slow down. In situations where I've got a group, seemingly of mixed cognitive function, I try and address them all, moving my gaze and such so that I'm not making an outward judgement about who's able to understand me and who isn't. I'm still, in my head, assuming a certain individual is clearly the carer of those dribbling and making noise, but I don't know for sure, and so I try to control my outward behaviour. But then every now and again you make a mistake, when your gaze stresses out a kid with autism, for example. And I expect, in return for my efforts, for their parent to not get angry with me when I do make mistakes. People just need to be realise that we're all different. We all have s***ty thoughts. We're all d***s sometimes. We all make mistakes and we've all been misinformed. I strive for "people are different" awareness and part of that is about forgiving those who offend you. |
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| Pookie | Jan 20 2014, 02:11 PM Post #8 |
Pookie Powa!
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This lady was inspirational and I thank you for showing this to us Strawberry. I liked her story. She has an inner strength and inner beauty that most people wish they possessed. HOWEVER, I have to say something that truly gets to me about today's society specifically Americans about physical beauty. It is true that entertainment business puts a lot of pressure on people to look a certain way. I disagree with that notion completely. One should look the way they want and not be judged for being unique. Nevertheless, there is one issue that bothers me about physical beauty in today's society. At some point, one has to draw a line, and this is where I draw mine. Lizzie had no control over her condition, but when it comes to Obesity and people saying it is "okay" there is an issue there. There have been attempts in society to make obesity into something that it isn't. I see it all the time where some women will say "I got more curves" when it isn't true. The reason I say this is because there is a difference between being "curvy" and being obese. They are unhealthy, and we should not be blinded by the concept. We shouldn't promote an unhealthy lifestyle. While it's right-on to accept everyone for who they are, it's not okay to encourage a negative behavior. I've seen plenty of kids overweight from being a P.E major back at University because of this idea that being overweight is "okay." This type of behavior could lead to problems in the future so I wanted to throw that out there. I wanted to bring Obesity up because while we should accept everyone for who they are and I try to do that to the best of my ability, as a society, we shouldn't make some things that are DEFINITELY not okay to be okay. For this reason, education should give people the tools to be their "best self" while at the same time accepting others' flaws. There are things in life people can't control, but obesity is not one of them so I disagree with accepting that it's alright. Edited by Pookie, Jan 20 2014, 02:22 PM.
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Jan 20 2014, 02:24 PM Post #9 |
Feel like a sir
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Beauty is from the inside. |
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