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| What is it about "clingy" people others don't like? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 30 2013, 04:36 PM (914 Views) | |
| + Steve | Oct 30 2013, 04:36 PM Post #1 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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Me and my friend were discussing it the other day and we can't figure out why people don't like their partners to be clingy. If you had to pick is clingy not better than really distant? I'd much rather a girlfriend that wants to know what I'm doing all the time that's interested in my life than one who disappears for days with no word as to why... Would figure it's better to know someone actually wants to be with you. As long as they're not manically clingy, killing people who look at you, watch you sleeping through the window, what's so bad about it otherwise, in your opinion? People need their space but you can just say that to a clingy person, put your phone off etc...so
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![]() Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
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| + Pelador | Oct 30 2013, 04:44 PM Post #2 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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I get very clingy and very obsessive but at least I'm aware of it. I think being too clingy is as bad as not being there enough. Endless texting all through the night can get very irritating. So can a person who complains and gets upset just because I happen to be talking to a woman, or even a man. You tell them to back off and they get all sulky. You just can't win with them. I need my space, I don't need somebody looking over my shoulder all the time. |
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| Pookie | Oct 30 2013, 05:08 PM Post #3 |
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Pookie Powa!
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There is a difference between being clingy and being caring. For instance, if your person is at work, do you really need to be texting them all the time to ask them where they are or what they are doing? There has to be a line drawn somewhere. When someone is clingy, it is associated with negativity because it means that they don't trust their partner. If there is no trust in a relationship, there is no relationship it's as simple as that. Generally, someone who is clingy means that they don't give the other person space to breathe and think for themselves. Clingy questions especially after the person tells you where they are or what they are doing "What were you doing?" "Who is that woman/man?" "Where are you right now?" It's fine to ask these once in awhile, but if you ask it all the time, then yeah it's a problem. Edited by Pookie, Oct 30 2013, 05:09 PM.
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| POOHEAD189 | Oct 30 2013, 05:35 PM Post #4 |
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There's a difference between interested and clingy. Clingy is kind of obsessive and can get repetitive. Interested is them genuinely liking your company. |
| Tha gaol agam ort. <3 | |
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| + Pelador | Oct 30 2013, 05:36 PM Post #5 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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With me it's more about not feeling good enough for that person. So I have a fear that they will get bored and leave me. Paranoia created from my own self doubt and insecurity. |
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| + Steve | Oct 30 2013, 05:38 PM Post #6 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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But if they're not as clingy as that I don't see the problem, I've watched so many relationships fail because the guy text them one too many times, it's kind of dumb. Why not just sit down and talk rather than end it? It probably comes down to most not wanting to be betrayed because it's happened to them before which made them that way, so not trying to help is making their problem worse. Whereas somebody who practically never talks to you, how can you feel secure in an early relationship like that? They could be doing anything in those gaps. At least with a clingy person you know you're always on their mind all you need to do is make them calm down a touch and realize you can be trusted and then you actually have someone who's devoted to you. Just seems a lot more favourable to me than being messed around and having someone who's never straight with you so for opposite ends of the scale that seems fine. Obviously in the middle is way better, but if that's not an option. Also I don't mean as clingy as not wanting you to have any other friends but them, now that's annoying. |
![]() Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
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| Buuberries | Oct 30 2013, 05:49 PM Post #7 |
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No
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I get angry if I don't get my alone time. I'm talking about it from a non-relationship perspective, as well. As Pookie said, being clingy's associated with negative things such as jealousy... the bad kind. To me, however, there's a difference between feeling bad about something and actually behaving badly because of jealousy -- e.g., your partner find someone else physically attractive. A part of you might feel bad about it, but it's natural and isn't really bad at all unless they act upon it. I would actually be happy in a relationship with a woman where we openly talk about people we find attractive, lol. Idk, I think it's a healthy thing as long as both people know it wouldn't be acted upon. Then there's bad jealousy based on being possessive where you attack your partner in whatever way and try to control them -- e.g., "Why the f*** didn't tell me you were going out?" "Don't do that again without my permission." Just because two people are interested in and care for each other doesn't mean they should be talking 24/7 and not be seperated ever; people need a goddamn break. Main thing's communication and letting each other know you need time to be alone. Relationships flourish when people can be independent and grow and develop new interests by themselves that they then share with their partner instead of only doing things together. That's my opinion, anyway. Edited by Buuberries, Oct 30 2013, 06:07 PM.
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| Sam | Oct 30 2013, 08:41 PM Post #8 |
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It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.
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It's really just control problems, and/or insecurity problems. My ex girlfriend was a lot like this, and my lack of assertiveness totally ruined the relationship. I felt like I really didn't know her very well. |
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WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 | |
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| Master Gohan | Oct 30 2013, 08:58 PM Post #9 |
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I get what you mean. I too get angry when I am not left alone but I haven't had a relationship yet to experience this, but I assume it would get annoying. Plus, I wouldn't want a girlfriend constantly texting me or asking who I was with all the time. |
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| * Yu Narukami | Oct 30 2013, 09:01 PM Post #10 |
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Izanagi!
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To be honest, I get quite aggravated at people who're clingy. As people have already said in the thread, time alone is important. However, it's also extremely annoying to other people. Let's say a man is very clingy and is in a relationship with a woman. The man's clingy attitude may cause him to act differently around friends when his partner's not there, and even when she is. So, it's extremely annoying to the party involved that isn't clingy and it's annoying to people who aren't directly involved due to the behavioural changes of the clingy person. |
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