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| What to do about a dying mostly online friendship | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 21 2013, 12:12 PM (622 Views) | |
| + Steve | Oct 21 2013, 12:12 PM Post #1 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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Me and my friend have been fairly close, about as close as you can get on the internet anyway, for a few years and we've hung out a few times and shared pretty much everything used to be chatting all night. But were both really shy so in person didn't talk that much so to put it simply online friendship was at level 100 but in real life friendship level 1, maybe 2. We were starting to hang out more and the friendship was evolving, not much but a lot for shy people. And then her ex boyfriend asked her out again and she as good as disappeared, talking only once a week or even longer on Facebook(she got a job too so that added time) Now we can't really hang out or talk the way we used to because of the boyfriend and the friendship can't go forward in any way which has actually been really upsetting me not been sleeping great, have less motivation to do things and have been comfort eating. She was kind of my only life line in to gaining social skills since she coped better. She quit her job now so can talk more, but not like before and the boundaries a boyfriend add cut what we can talk about in half, most of what we talked about were strange things to put it lightly. She said she considered me one of her best friends but made no effort to drop even a "hello" or an "I'm alive by the way" in over 2 months, its clear that she's just going to drift further away until she's totally moved on and then yeah who cares about that weird guy she used to talk to, what was his name? And also only really says that she hates goodbyes, nothing like I'll miss you. To put it in to perspective she is literally half of my friends as in I only have 2 so at least to me it's a very big deal. So I'm not sure what to do as it's really getting to me, don't want to end the friendship but as it's going now it's just declining. End/postpone it or suffer it and hope that her and her boyfriend break up so we can go back to normal? Sucks when friendships just totally change without warning. |
![]() Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
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| Buuberries | Oct 21 2013, 12:16 PM Post #2 |
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No
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have you spoken to her about how it's making you feel or no? |
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| + Majin Vegeta | Oct 21 2013, 12:20 PM Post #3 |
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The resident GT fan!
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Good question Buuberies For what I see everything has happened because her ex called her again and then she stoped talking to you?well perhaps she is aware that you have some feelings from her I'm not sure,as for you about what you're going to do well I suggest you talk to her about what you think about this whole situation and then you should act as you think its the best
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![]() "Its only when we're pushed to our limits that we can truly shine!" Majin Vegeta | |
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| + Steve | Oct 21 2013, 01:43 PM Post #4 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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Yeah I've mentioned it, it's what we've been talking about when we've had chances to talk. Again she only really says that she hates goodbyes not that she'd miss me or anything, I don't really know what to think. Also it's not really a romantic thing, this has made me realize that I probably do have those kind of feelings for her, but neither of us would pursue that we were just starting a real life friendship would have been a long way from romance, I just want my friend back really.. Given that their relationship failed before I'm just hoping it does again, the guy is kind of a d*** anyway as far as I know. Though that makes me sound like a d***... She's only 18 though it's not like they're star crossed lovers or anything he just asked her out of the blue, that's the angle I look at it from but yeah it's wishful thinking, the reality is unless it ends really soon she'll probably be changed enough to not care at all, if she does now. He's lucky I'm not obsessive in a psychotic way
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![]() Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
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| Pookie | Oct 21 2013, 02:57 PM Post #5 |
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Pookie Powa!
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@Steve- I don't think there is anything you can do other then to tell her how you feel about the situation. If you don't want to do that, you just have to go look for some new friends. She is living her life, and there is no reason why you can't live yours. If she is as shy as you say she is, then you can do what she is doing. Whether or not her relationship works, you shouldn't hang around and wait. Regardless, I hope she does realize that her friendship with you is important. Until then, try to distract yourself from thinking about it too much. You don't want to be suffering for someone who may not be feeling the same. |
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| Kienzan | Oct 21 2013, 03:06 PM Post #6 |
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Well, why rely on her to start and carry on concersations? If you want hwr back, make an effort to create conversation, and keep conversations going. Make her realise how much of a good friend you are. Good luck
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| + Pyrus | Oct 21 2013, 04:45 PM Post #7 |
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This reminds me a lot of a friendship I've had. In my experience it's not worth it if she can basically throw you away like this and then come back to you like nothing happened. If she won't put the effort in on her end, it doesn't make sense for you to bother. Wait it out silently or move on from it. Try to not focus on it or you'll only hurt yourself, my friend. |
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| + Steve | Oct 21 2013, 07:48 PM Post #8 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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I guess I'll just try the first option but if I lose touch with someone at all then it's like I don't know them, I couldn't meet a friend after a few months and be all talkative like a normal person it would be like neither of us knew each other. But then again she's kind of the same so could build up on that...but then again again her relationship will boost her confidence and maybe stop her being the same I'll just pretend it's not like mentally falling down stairs constantly and hope for the best, although that almost never happens with me. |
![]() Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
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| Fulgore | Oct 21 2013, 09:31 PM Post #9 |
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The Darkness Returns
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Exactly. I've come and gone through so many good and wonderful friendships online. I miss the hell out of the people I never see/speak to online anymore.. but I have the memories of he great times we had. I've spent the majority of my life online dating back to AOL 2.0, and it's been a great time. I feel like each of the online chapters date a different period of my life, and I love each part of it. Just like in real life, people move on and go to different things, like Pookie had mentioned. It's hard to retain online friendships unless you share common interests (games for example have been a common ground in most of my Online relationships) |
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