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Apathy Towards Life?; Just A Little Rant
Topic Started: Oct 3 2013, 10:27 PM (2,274 Views)
Buuberries
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exactly what trunks said.

it's pretty much like that boiling frog metaphor people tell each other: you boil frogs by dropping them in cold water and boiling it slowly rather than putting it straight into boiling water. (dont care if it's true or not; i'm just using it as a metaphor)

you get so used to living and being a certain way that it just seems normal; a lot of s*** in life is being thrown at you, but you're practically bending over and taking it hard, yet you endure because you know no other way.

i would say that, for most people, it's almost impossible to live away from society; the most you can do is skirt around the border (i'm not talking about physical borders just fyi).
i mean you call yourself a lone wolf, but whose internet are you using? who's paying for your food? whose house are you under? who's paying for your bills? who do you go to when you're really ill? who would you call if fire broke out in your house? and so on. breaking free from society would probably make most people more miserable, and it's probably even fatal depending on how far you take it.

unfortunately life is filled with s*** we don't like to do. people i know who are further out of the norm than you are (from what i've been judging based on your posts on this thread) and disagree with many aspects of society still integrate themselves into it. they work because unfortunately you need money to do anything -- to fuel your interests and hobbies.

what do you even do online? the internet is pretty much a key to most subjects in the world. there's so much s*** out there that i find it difficult to believe that not one single thing has piqued your interest
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@Buuberries

1) I don't completly isolate myself from society. If I did that, I wouldn't be going to school and what not. I have aquaintces in my school but none which I consider a true friend.

2) Are you under the impression that I have a grudge against my family? Because all I said was that I didn't feel close. All those things you just said, it's merely temporarily.

3) And you perfectly summed up one of the biggest problems I have with society. If I do get a job, it's going to be something I just don't like or even hate doing. That's the issue.

4) Well TBH, the internet is one of my few hobbies. That and manga/anime, video games, and a couple of others. Then theres DBZF which is probably the only place where I can have a meaningful conversation, something that can't happen in my daily life. But i'm not talking about hobbies here, I'm talking about career choices. That's the area in which i'm not interested in anything.

By the looks of your post, your assuming that i'm a miserable case that does nothing but weep and weep about life. That's not true. Theres a huge difference between being miserable and being aphetic. It would be impossible for anyone to clearly understand my apathy.
Edited by Yusuke, Oct 4 2013, 03:34 PM.
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Are you under the impression that I have a grudge against my family?
nope I'm trying to understand your problem, here -- if you even have one. you say you're content with it yet you've made this thread almost as if you're looking for justification/affirmation.

Quote:
 
By the looks of your post, your assuming that i'm a miserable case that does nothing but weep and weep about life. That's not true. Theres a huge difference between being miserable and being aphetic. It would be impossible for anyone to clearly understand my apathy.
uhh no. apathy is more or less the same for everyone; i don't know why you keep trying to say that you're different. there's nothing different about feeling apathetic a lot of the time. I've known so many people who do. how you go about dealing with it is what's different. you just seem to take it whereas some people try to overcome it.

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That's the area in which i'm not interested in anything.
is it that you're not interested in anything as a career, or you're not interested in having a career at all?

the third kira and i have already said you've got nothing to worry about if you're content with the way your life is. i usually tell people they should do what they want as long as they're happy with it. apathy isn't necessarily a bad thing but it isn't exactly good, either.
i've helped a lot of people in the past who've been apathetic and your outlook on life is the same as theirs when they were in that phase, so pardon me for jumping to conclusions.
Edited by Buuberries, Oct 4 2013, 01:51 PM.
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This seems like a recurring thing with the newer (and I'm including myself in this group :p ) generations in general who have had access to the internet pretty much since they were kids. I think it would be very pretentious of me to blame it all on the internet or give you a psychological essay about it since I'd need to actually study this phenomenon in depth to do that... but I do think that for a lot of people -- especially people who are naturally more introverted and reserved -- being able to socialize through the internet and get most of their sources of entertainment/news through the internet can be potentially harmful in the long run when it's not balanced with a (for a lack of better word) more realistic or practical way of interacting with others in real life. And that's because at the end of the day you cannot escape society. There are a few cases of people who've managed to be successful in their lives while keeping their interaction with society to a minimum level and sort of secluding themselves from the personal and professional webs of society, but in general your chances of being successful or even happy without taking into account society's expectations of you and trying to adapt to them to some degree aren't really that high (again, I'm mostly talking from personal experience and my own understanding of the world).

I've gone through stages of apathy towards my life in the past l and I think that when it only happens occasionally and doesn't really dictate the way you live your life too much it shouldn't be too much of a worry. However, when it's something that happens constantly and permanently to you it's definitely something you should pay attention to and look into, because it can become very toxic.
From what I gathered from your posts here you seem to have a significant lack of social interaction with others outside of this forum and the computer, which is not anything to be ashamed of and you're definitely not alone in this. It is however (from what I'm seeing here) the main source of your apathy in my opinion. I feel like the more you seclude yourself from the things in your real life the bigger your apathy will become. It's not in vain that the number one advice you're given by psychologists throughout the world when you're entering a depression is that you need to find ways of keeping yourself occupied and giving yourself a structured routine. And while watching anime and chatting on forums is definitely a good way of passing your time, it's often times used as a form of distraction from your real life that can potentially become negative when it's used to the point of neglecting important things in your life. This can be said about anything, not just anime or videogames, but pretty much everything you do within your comfort zone that ends up blocking you from stepping out of that comfort zone and face your real life challenges.
And it's tricky because I know many cases of people who've used the internet in general as a platform to "escape" their lives for such a long period of time that when they finally start feeling like changing things up a bit they find themselves in a position where they didn't learn many social skills growing up and can get a lot of anxiety just from going out and doing the most simple activities. I don't know if this is the case with you or not, but if it is I can give you some more personal tips on how to overcome that social anxiety.

Sorry for the long post and for the generalizations made in this post. I sort of used your thread as a way to address some points that I'm not sure relate to you in particular. :p This could be a good topic for a debate now that I think about it.

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Buuberries
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Strawberry
 
From what I gathered from your posts here you seem to have a significant lack of social interaction with others outside of this forum and the computer, which is not anything to be ashamed of and you're definitely not alone in this. It is however (from what I'm seeing here) the main source of your apathy in my opinion.
okay that's pretty much partly what I was assuming but I didn't know a way to say it without it looking as if I was being offensive. so thx to strawberry
Edited by Buuberries, Oct 4 2013, 02:06 PM.
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Yeah and on that note, I want to make it as clear as possible that nothing of what I said was meant in a judgemental or offensive way at all. It was also a generalization so it doesn't necessarily have to apply to sm11211 in particular. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.
I'm more than willing to try to understand his own case better and help him if I can, though. :)

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Before I post my two cents, I just want to say that this is not a direct attack on anyone. It is just how I feel about this subject at hand. I've always been the hard headed type of person when it comes to this because of how I was raised. Even if I hated doing something, I'd always be told that famous line "suck it up."

There are going to be a lot of things people won't like to do in their life. Trust me when I say that I went through the bullied phase, the anti social phase, and all of that junk. If I just didn't keep chugging along or pushing through those adversities , I'd probably be miserable today.

This is basically for everyone. If everyone thought "well I don't want to do this because it sucks," nothing would get done in this world. We wouldn't have any advancements that we have today. It's probably why a lot of the older generations view this generation as "self entitled" and "lazy."

The bottom line is you need to just suck it up and deal with it because what else are you going to do? You're not going to roll over and die right? Therefore, try to find some joyful things in your life rather than feeling like everything around you is hopeless and like there is nothing for you in this world.
Edited by Pookie, Oct 4 2013, 03:45 PM.
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nope I'm trying to understand your problem, here -- if you even have one. you say you're content with it yet you've made this thread almost as if you're looking for justification/affirmation.


I am looking for no such thing. I'm just getting this off my chest. If I ever told someone about how I feel about life, they would scold me and give me a moronic lecture about how life is all good and BS like that. If people don't understand my problem, then that's fine. Nobody will understand me. I've slowly come to terms with that.

Quote:
 
is it that you're not interested in anything as a career, or you're not interested in having a career at all?

the third kira and i have already said you've got nothing to worry about if you're content with the way your life is. i usually tell people they should do what they want as long as they're happy with it. apathy isn't necessarily a bad thing but it isn't exactly good, either.
i've helped a lot of people in the past who've been apathetic and your outlook on life is the same as theirs when they were in that phase, so pardon me for jumping to conclusions


TBH, when I actually think about it, it's sorta both. I can't think of anything I want to do in life and their isn't any fields that have my interest.

I don't want to sound rude here but how do you know I have "so much time" to decide? My College applications are due in about a month and I still have no idea what i'm going into because of my lack of interest for career choices. If I don't do it then, i'm going to be stuck doing nothing for an entire year, getting scolded my my parents for not doing anything. It's not that simple. That's were i'm getting at.

Quote:
 
From what I gathered from your posts here you seem to have a significant lack of social interaction with others outside of this forum and the computer, which is not anything to be ashamed of and you're definitely not alone in this. It is however (from what I'm seeing here) the main source of your apathy in my opinion. I feel like the more you seclude yourself from the things in your real life the bigger your apathy will become. It's not in vain that the number one advice you're given by psychologists throughout the world when you're entering a depression is that you need to find ways of keeping yourself occupied and giving yourself a structured routine. And while watching anime and chatting on forums is definitely a good way of passing your time, it's often times used as a form of distraction from your real life that can potentially become negative when it's used to the point of neglecting important things in your life. This can be said about anything, not just anime or videogames, but pretty much everything you do within your comfort zone that ends up blocking you from stepping out of that comfort zone and face your real life challenges.
And it's tricky because I know many cases of people who've used the internet in general as a platform to "escape" their lives for such a long period of time that when they finally start feeling like changing things up a bit they find themselves in a position where they didn't learn many social skills growing up and can get a lot of anxiety just from going out and doing the most simple activities. I don't know if this is the case with you or not, but if it is I can give you some more personal tips on how to overcome that social anxiety.


I think you should read the OP Strawberry. I speicfically said that going outside my comfort zone is the exact thing that makes me miserable. I absoultely detest going to social gatherings, parties, or anything of that nature. It makes me sick having to do that.

I'm only happy when i'm alone and chilling doing something like being on the internet or other stuff I mentioned. When I do that, I feel at home. When i'm not doing that, everything is like work for me.

Quote:
 
There are going to be a lot of things people won't like to do in their life. Trust me when I say that I went through the bullied phase, the anti social phase, and all of that junk. If I just didn't keep chugging along or pushing through those adversities , I'd probably be miserable today.


I'm not being bullied anymore. That was like 5-7 years ago. But the effects of all that negativity and despair still lingers with me even today. Those those past experinces are most likely the reason for me distrusting everyone I meet. The whole "Suck it up" mentaility, only makes the problem worse. It's almost like slavery when you think about it. Not having a choice of what to do.

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You're not going to roll over and die right? Therefore, try to find some joyful things in your life rather than feeling like everything around you is hopeless and like there is nothing for you in this world.


Well now that you mentioned it, there really isn't much for me in this world. Nothing that I would want to accomplish. Nothing I would want to pursue. I'm most likely not going to get married because I would never trust anyone of the opposite gender let alone anyone of any gender of being apart of my life. It's almost like playing game of Russian Roulette.

I'm just going to be a guy who eats, sleeps, and works at some half-assed job. That's my unfortunate reality. Perhaps it's just fate.
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dont have much time at the moment but i can respond to this

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I don't want to sound rude here but how do you know I have "so much time" to decide?
because you're 18, lol. I'm 24. I have friends who are older than me, and some of us have only just got an idea about what we want to do over the past year or two. some people get ideas when they're much younger; for others, it happens much later. there was someone on this forum a few months ago going on about how he has no idea what to do with his life and he's 28. i know a bunch of people in their mid 30s and early 40s who only just started university or only just got a degree. unless you want to be some sort of musical virtuoso (because really you need to have been playing an instrument from like the age of 3 or 4 or some s***) then it's not too late to do anything.
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I'm only happy when i'm alone and chilling doing something like being on the internet or other stuff I mentioned. When I do that, I feel at home. When i'm not doing that, everything is like work for me.


This is the only reason you are having these problems that you are dealing with because you don't get enough social interaction which Strawberry pointed out. You can say that social interaction gives you anxiety, but when it is all said and done, you use the internet as an escape from real life problems just like a lot of us do/did.

As for being bullied, you can get over it. I got over it. The reason I got over it is because I didn't let what "immature" idiots said about me effect me. I also understood that as you get older it doesn't matter if you were the jock, the nerd, the popular cheerleader, etc. in high school. What does matter is "believing in yourself," which seems like you lack. The bottom line is not everybody is going to like you, and you should face with that reality.

I am quoting Kat Williams because it is true.

"If you got haters, then you're doing something right."

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I'm just going to be a guy who eats, sleeps, and works at some half-assed job. That's my unfortunate reality. Perhaps it's just fate.


Well if you think like this, at 18 years old, before you have even begun to truly live, then yeah probably.
Edited by Pookie, Oct 4 2013, 07:29 PM.
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because you're 18, lol. I'm 24. I have friends who are older than me, and some of us have only just got an idea about what we want to do over the past year or two. some people get ideas when they're much younger; for others, it happens much later. there was someone on this forum a few months ago going on about how he has no idea what to do with his life and he's 28. i know a bunch of people in their mid 30s and early 40s who only just started university or only just got a degree. unless you want to be some sort of musical virtuoso (because really you need to have been playing an instrument from like the age of 3 or 4 or some s***) then it's not too late to do anything.


But i'm feeling the rush. Like I said. I only have until next month to submit my College application. If I don't, i'm going to be doing nothing next year and i'm going to be constantly scolded by my parents about not doing anything. And trust me, it's pain in the rear end! So much that it makes me....well....I shouldn't talk about it here.

Quote:
 
This is the only reason you are having these problems that you are dealing with because you don't get enough social interaction as Strawberry was saying. You can say that social interaction gives you anxiety, but when it is all said and done, you use the internet as an escape from real life problems.


No. Trust me when I say these things. Social gatherings is what makes me misearable. The internet gives me relief. It lets me escape into a world where I don't have a thing to worry about. Where I don't have to be worried about being stabbed in the back or things like that.

Maybe it's hard for someone other than me to understand but I get it. People don't understand how my mind operates. I'm okay with that. I don't understand other people as well.

Quote:
 
This is the only reason you are having these problems that you are dealing with because you don't get enough social interaction as Strawberry was saying. You can say that social interaction gives you anxiety, but when it is all said and done, you use the internet as an escape from real life problems.

As for being bullied, you can get over it. I got over it. The reason I got over it is because I didn't let what "immature" idiots said about me effect me. I also understood that as you get older it doesn't matter if you were the jock, the nerd, the popular cheerleader, etc. in high school. What does matter is "believing in yourself," which seems like you lack. The bottom line is not everybody is going to like you, and you should face with that reality.

I am quoting Kat Williams because it is true.

"If you got haters, then you're doing something right."


Well the main effects of all that have diminished pretty much after my bullying stopped over 5 years ago. It's the side effects that never leave your head. The thoughts of what happend back then. All the discomfort and pain I went through. Getting beat up by the bully on that cold winter day. But it's just not me, other people feel this as well. I remember reading of a 60 year old guy who's still troubled by the bullying he endured. It's something that doesn't exactly bother you all the time but it will occasionally tap you on the back and remind of you of the horrible things that happened. Or at least it does so for me.

"If you got haters, then you're doing something right."

And that's the thing. I don't have any haters. It's not that they hate me, it's just they don't care about me. I could be gone for the entire semester and nobody will care when I get back to school. That's almost as bad IMO. Nobody caring about your existence.

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Well if you think like this, at 18 years old, before you have even begun to truly live, then yeah probably.


It's not speculation my friend, it's coming to terms with reality.
Edited by Yusuke, Oct 4 2013, 07:54 PM.
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But i'm feeling the rush. Like I said. I only have until next month to submit my College application. If I don't, i'm going to be doing nothing next year and i'm going to be constantly scolded by my parents about not doing anything. And trust me, it's pain in the a***! So much that it makes me....well....I shouldn't talk about it here.
Which country are you from? Just so I can get an idea of how your university/college system works.

If it's Canada or the US, you have a year before you can choose what you want to major in... at least that's what it seems like based on conversations I've had with a number of online friends from both countries. Here in the UK, you pretty much choose the subject you want to do and go into it straight away.
Edited by Buuberries, Oct 4 2013, 07:55 PM.
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Which country are you from? Just so I can get an idea of how your university/college system works.

If it's Canada or the US, you have a year before you can choose what you want to major in... at least that's what it seems like based on conversations I've had with a number of online friends from both countries. Here in the UK, you pretty much choose the subject you want to do and go into it straight away.


I'm from Ontario, Canada.

From my understanding, you can only switch your major after the first year. If you don't switch, your pretty much doing it for the rest of College. So unless I miraculously have a change of heart, it's not going to be any different.
Edited by Yusuke, Oct 4 2013, 07:58 PM.
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My opinion on this is try to look at the positives and be humble about it. Look at the privileges some people don't have. Homeless, starvation, Going through war, cheap labour in poorer countries. Half the human population live in these situations. Don't feel bad just enjoy the present and the things you can be humble about. Things like being rich or popular doesn't matter because you still feel the same anyway because ours minds will always try to find something else to complain about etc.
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My opinion on this is try to look at the positives and be humble about it. Look at the privileges some people don't have. Homeless, starvation, Going through war, cheap labour in poorer countries. Half the human population live in these situations. Don't feel bad just enjoy the present and the things you can be humble about. Things like being rich or popular doesn't matter because you still feel the same anyway because ours minds will always try to find something else to complain about etc.


I never said I wanted to be rich/popular. I espically wouldn't want to be popular.

Just because people live like that in other countries, it doesn't mean that somehow makes my life a Wonderland. That just makes it badder for them when it's only merly bad for me.
Edited by Yusuke, Oct 4 2013, 08:04 PM.
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