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Rant
Topic Started: Sep 15 2013, 12:50 AM (541 Views)
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I need to rant.

My parents just got me and my brother together and basically bashed us, saying how they can't deal with introverts and that we're both going down "dangerous, unhealthy" roads because we apparently "sit on our computers all day and don't interact like normal humans." Sure, I can give them a little credit. I am an introvert, and I don't like people. I don't get along well with most people because I am different, and because I find it hard to connect with others unless we share similar ideals and common interests. But the truth of the matter is, I do have people who I would consider close friends. I was in a committed relationship for a year and a half that they didn't even know about because I was afraid they would judge me, but of course they don't know that and would assume I am incapable of love or forming close bonds. I am a full-time student at a private university that's actually quite difficult to succeed in, and I work 20 hours at my job. I have plenty of hobbies: writing, drawing, anime, manga, video editing, etc. They're just hobbies that my parents don't understand. My parents don't understand me or my brother at all. They aren't introverts. They can't relate to us in any way. They never have. Only when I was in sports in high school did my parents even remotely relate to me, and it's very sad.

What am I supposed to do? I've been incredibly depressed lately and obviously unable to tell them any of that. That's the reason why I can't feel like I can get involved this year at school. I don't want fresh human interaction right now - I want to get over what I'm feeling. I want to feel comfortable doing what I like to do - sitting on my computer, reading manga, writing, etc. They don't understand that.

Honestly, I feel like they shouldn't be treating me this way at all. I'm almost 20 years old. I think I know the kind of person I am. I know I'm going to change down the road, but I know who I am now, and I know what my passions are.

/rant over.

Sorry guys.. :/
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POOHEAD189
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I completely understand Kira. Parents don't often understand because they aren't experiencing what you are. Honestly, my advice? Just don't listen to your parents. If you're focusing on school and work, then you have a right to be who you truly are in your free time.
Though I might also try being honest with them, and telling them what you wrote down. It might not be the best experience doing it, but it'll help you out in the long run, I think.
Tha gaol agam ort. <3
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daman
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I am guilty sorry everyone. RIP Emile Griffith. Jeremy Kyle is a prick. go make sumin of urself

Move out or something. That's what I'd do/what my aim is. Not saying that's what you should aim for but it's one option. Dunno if you wanna leave your brother though.

“Making weed illegal is a little bit paranoid, don’t you think? It’s like saying God made a mistake, you know what I mean? It’s like, you’ve got the whole world and Earth and all its holy creations, right? And God is like, Hmm, lookit, my whole world in all its holy ways, and he’s like, Oh-my-me-oh-sh**, I left weed in here. Yeah right, I left weed in here. Oh, shouldn’t have smoked that joint on the third day.”
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+ Yusuke
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Don't worry, sometimes you need to let all that negativity out of your system.

I sorta have that problem as well. I get along with most of the people at school and I have tons of acquaintances but I don't exactly have many friends. Simply because I can't relate to people in general.

You should try to explain to them how you feel about people in general right now and how being an introvert makes you feel about people.

Eh.. Sorry if that wasn't the best advice but that's what I can say. Good luck!
Edited by Yusuke, Sep 15 2013, 01:27 AM.
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daman
Sep 15 2013, 12:59 AM
Move out or something. That's what I'd do/what my aim is. Not saying that's what you should aim for but it's one option. Dunno if you wanna leave your brother though.

I plan on moving out next school semester or summer hopefully, but I'll need to stay on their good side until then because I need their help financially. I can't manage working a full time job and going to school.

But thanks for the advice, guys. I've cooled down a bit since it happened. Took my brother out of the house to grab some dinner. I've tried explaining to them how I feel in the past, but they always assume I'm whining or not really going through anything difficult. They never listen to my problems. We've never really been a family to talk about all our deep dark secrets and such.
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Krystal
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Cooking Mama

You just explained yourself pretty eloquently on here. Why not write them a letter? Tell them that while yes, you are an introvert, being so is neither dangerous nor unhealthy. The most dangerous aspect of this is them saying they cannot "handle" introverts. They need to be supportive of and interested in YOUR loves if they want you to open up. You have niche interests, and thus don't connect with other people as easily. What's so bad about that?
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+ Pyrus
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Just don't "rebel" and do stupid s*** to piss them off. It's not worth it.
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Darth Pyrus
Sep 15 2013, 02:25 AM
Just don't "rebel" and do stupid s*** to piss them off. It's not worth it.
I've never done that before and don't plan on it.

And the letter idea sounds pretty good, Smochi, but I guess I'm a tad bit embarrassed to express myself like that to them.
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POOHEAD189
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The Third Kira
Sep 15 2013, 02:26 AM
And the letter idea sounds pretty good, Smochi, but I guess I'm a tad bit embarrassed to express myself like that to them.
I know how you feel. But just write it all down, and then give it to them at a time where you're sleepy or hungry or thinking about something else, and you'll not care as much. And when they read it, it won't be as bad as you fear. We always overhype stuff when we're embarrassed.
Tha gaol agam ort. <3
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+ Pyrus
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Do the letter. I've done it before and it's helped.
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foot soldier
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I'm really sorry about your parents treating you in such a way. I understand you; I'm also an introvert born to sanguine and choleric parents. My suggestion for you is to explain to them that this is who you are in a simple, understandable way. Reassure them that there is nothing wrong with you and point to your achievements with work and university as evidence that you are and will lead a successful life. Your parents are scared for you because they love you, they just don't know how to express their concerns in a way that is sensible. This is their fault, not yours. They will have to learn. But they can't know what they're doing wrong if you don't communicate it to them.

That being said, you cannot get your feelings hurt every time they don't get it, because they're going to do it again. Just trust in the good aspects of them, whatever those may be, and try to forgive them of their short comings. They'll come around. It seems to me like your lifestyle is plenty healthy and you're on a good track, so just keep doing what you're doing and what works for you. They'll eventually see that you're doing alright. They might never fully understand your hobbies or why you're content with a lifestyle they themselves wouldn't personally choose, but that's just the way it goes. Don't let them continue to distract you from the life you choose.
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Master Gohan
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I am a bit of the same way. My parents don't understand it, but they don't really care as long as my grades are fine. So I try my best.
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You guys are right. I know I need to express my feelings more. I try to think about how other people out there have it worse than me, but it's hard to think that when everything feels so completely useless right now. I wish I had more than just a couple of friends who would listen and understand. Life sucks. :p haha
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