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Another find me a gf thread
Topic Started: Sep 13 2013, 05:03 PM (535 Views)
Cal
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I may not deserve to live, but I will protect those in my reach with my reverse blade!

So let me give you the rundown before I ask for advice.

I've recently graduated from college and have a decent starting point for my career and have moved back home and in with some roommates. I'm pretty happy with my life to be honest and it's been a while since I could honestly say that, but I still want a relationship because I feel like it's the missing puzzle piece in my life and I want someone to care for, etc, etc.

I haven't had a 'real' relationship since high school which was about 4 years ago. I'm not sure about how to go about getting in the dating field. I spent a s*** ton of money on eHarmony and didn't even find one person I wanted to meet, mainly because my search area of 50 miles is too limited not because I'm very picky. I try to use those sites as a transit into actually meeting someone not as a judge of compatibility, love, etc.

I used to be picky, but I realized quickly that being picky over a 500 word summary of someone's life is pretty naive, so besides red flags everyone is pretty much game to at least try going out with.

I'm an outgoing person who thinks he's smarter than most, overweight, have a stable career and have a vehicle. That's pretty much my basics, and it's not taking me very far it seems. I've tried to find some speed dating servies online in a local town near me but I can't find any and networking has filed miserably so far.

Any advice on how I get myself out there?


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Graffiti
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MGD.

Nah bro, online dating sites don't always work. You just gotta get out there yo, go clubbing or something. Trust me, girls won't really care if you're overweight or anything, just gotta be yourself. Confidence is the key, my friend. I've known guys that are overweight and they've been around the block.

Edited by Graffiti, Sep 13 2013, 05:37 PM.
DBZF Original, 2005-present

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"When backed into a corner, you are the most fearsome fighter!"
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SpeedoTrunks
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One thing I advise people is to physically get yourself out and about a lot more. How you do that is up to you, but try and take up a hobby/past time or just arrange to hang out with friends on a regular basis.

Most people tend to find a partner via people they know or a shared interest, so why not give it a bash? Your physical appearance isn't as important as you may think, (as long as you "make effort" for you when you go on a date/go out looking for love), it's more to do with the connection you make with somebody on a personal level.

Whilst doing this, it might be worth signing up to a few "online" places as well, it just depends on how much you want to find that special someone. For what it's worth, I met an ex via online dating sites, and that was "ok" while it lasted, yet I met my current partner (and now wife) via hanging out with my best buddy, who she was a friend of as well. 7 years on, and we're married, so jump into things my friend, and all the best!
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+ supersaqer
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Transcendent

Well, what are your interests? Football, watching movies in the cinema, going to the zoo, shopping, etc... You'll always meet with girls there. Just say hi, and some of the other greetings, introduce your self, and just let the flow take care of the rest. Ask them if they want to go to a coffee shop, cinema, zoo, or anything interesting. Wish you the best of luck.

Your best and always best friend, SuperSaqer.
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Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Buuberries
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No

Yeah personally I'd rather do what saqer and speedo said. Going to a club or even a bar is all good if you're only trying to get laid -- and like many graduates I'm assuming you don't give two f***s about clubbing and all that as much as you used to if you were even into that s*** before -- but for a longterm thing it's pretty meh... although I know a few people who are together now when they only meant for it to be a ONS.
Edited by Buuberries, Sep 13 2013, 06:13 PM.
¯\(°_o)/¯
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foot soldier
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No one can find you a girlfriend. You gotta do that for yourself. That being said, trash that eharmony thing. For the you were using it for, free sites like okcupid would do just fine, and without exorbitant fees. I don't suggest looking for a wife in the bars, but if you're just looking to test the waters, then by all means. Joining clubs and organizations where you can meet people with like interests is also a great way to find your potential mate.

Just dive in and meet people. Whatever happens after that is beyond your control, good or bad.
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Playing Raditz's Game
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Doggo Champion 2k17
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I wouldn't do eHarmony. Free dating sites like pof.com work just as well, if not better. If you're going to use a dating site, I would recommend using that one. And don't let people fool you: dating sites do work for some couples.

Other than that, I could say go out to some bars, clubs, or get together with a group of friends and participate in activities. Whether it's at the mall, at a football game, or even at a restaurant, a guy who is initiative will always get a phone number or two. You can't be scared. You have to at least act confident. And don't worry if you don't find a girl for a while. The dating scene is overrated, and not everyone needs a serious relationship right out of college. My experience is that relationships will tear you apart and completely break you. lol. But I've had some bad experiences.

Good luck, dear! ^_^
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RiaJay21
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Well, like everyone else, getting yourself out there is probably the best way to go about it; I know exactly where you're coming from, in terms of time and also in terms of being ... well, I prefer to say 'selective'. For me, though, that has pretty much translated to 'ice b*itch'. Anyway.

Social gatherings rather than clubs are probably for the better - from my experience of clubbing, everything happens way too fast, people are usually very drunk, but that could just be where I'm from. The chances always seem very slim, and, I don't know, probably the area but things are just very sleazy - it's about the quick screw, nothing more, nothing less.

A social drink at a bar, going out for a meal, and as others have pointed out, shared interests are always key. And really, I don't think most girls care about weight as much as - I don't know, the media? - makes out. I think it's easier for guys in that department, actually, and hey, if you're a good match for each other, she shouldn't care anyway. It's ... definitely not easy to begin with, but I think that once you're out there, things should start getting easier. =)

Guess that's just the way courting/relationships work nowadays? Sometimes, you have to go searching.
Oh, look. Another personal blog about writing. Whatever.
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