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| Dragon Ball AF | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 5 2012, 02:27 AM (2,226 Views) | |
| SSJ5Elmo | Nov 5 2012, 02:27 AM Post #1 |
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Chapter 1: Goku gone bad? Long ago... Goku and his friends protected the earth and the galaxy from certain doom on several occasions. After countless years of keeping the dragon balls from falling into the wrong hands and protecting life on several planets the final battles in the era of the Z warriors took place. Finally the 7 evil dragons were defeated and disappearing with them into an unknown world Goku, and with Goku gone the dragon balls had turned to stone. It is one year later and the earth is at peace but will that be the case for long? We bring you to hell where Doctor Myuu stands with Cell in front of a strange machine. Dr Myuu: Are you prepared Cell? Cell: Yes you will extract Goku's DNA from my being and create your experiment. If it's revenge you want Doctor then you will find it with our new plan. Not whatever garbage Doctor Gero had been feeding you with his Super 17 idea. Now let us begin the process. Cell climbs inside of Myuu's machine and the inside begins to glow blue as the door closes. The machine glows bright yellow from the inside when suddenly the process stops and both doors of the machine are steaming. The door Cell entered inside of opens as Cell steps out. Cell: Well? Did it work? Doctor Myuu: It should have. The door will open any moment now, all we need to do is add the power of someone in hell who fought Goku most recently. Meaning Hellfighter 17 wasn't a complete waste of space. Countless upon countless failed attempts to kill Goku and his blasted friends whether it be Baby or Super 17 I know for a fact this one can do it! This one can kill them all! Now 17! Come in here. Hellfighter 17 steps from behind a bunch of rocks towards the machine Cell had just come out of, before 17 could say anything he is stabbed by Cell's tail and tossed into the open machine door. The machine repeats the same process as before and an update to the memory of Goku's recent strength is uploaded into whatever Myuu's new creation is as shown on the screen above this machine. The first machine door opens as a freshly re-killed Hellfighter 17's body drops from the machine. Cell: don't worry about him he will reappear at the gates of hell anyway. Now Myuu. Is our creation prepared? Doctor Myuu: Yes but the download of Goku's recent power levels is from an observation unlike the DNA you have given me it could take anywhere from a few minutes to an hour before our project is complete. Cell: well worth the wait to rid the world of those Z fighter scum. Then once our creation has killed our enemies, we can use Janemba's teleporting powers and take the earth even the universe over under our rule! ????: I don't think so! Dr. Myuu and Cell stop cold in a shocked motion at the sound of the voice. It's Piccolo, who died in the final battles with the 7 evil dragons was sent to hell to repent for the evils he had committed in the past under the need for revenge for his father The Demon King Piccolo Piccolo: Whatever you've got in there I'm ready to destroy it and the both of you. I can't have any of you monsters sending anymore trouble back to my friends on earth! Cell: it-it can't be you were one of them you shouldn't be down here there's no way one of you could have been put in hell. Doctor Myuu: I suggest you leave now Piccolo while you still have the chance that is. Piccolo: What in the world are you talking about I am stronger then the both of you fused together and- that that power I'm feeling what in the hell is that power I'm sensing!? Doctor Myuu: aah yes ...that would be our new creation. Destroy us as you might Piccolo but my new project here will survive whatever you throw at him. Heh-heh the worst part is he's not even at his full power yet. Piccolo: I-impossible your bluffing! Cell smirks as he teleports in front of Piccolo to fight him. Piccolo swipes him by the neck with a swift chop tossing Cell far away. Piccolo: Outta my way! Dr. Myuu: guuhhh! Piccolo grunts and Myuu jumps back onto his butt trembling in fear when suddenly a computerized female voice says generation complete. Dr. Myuu: Yes. Behold Piccolo, you are the first to witness the power of my newest creation! (the second door opens as smoke clears out revealing a man with Goku's hair but in red, Goku,s fighting gear in black where it was orange and orange where the blue would be.) GOKU!!! Or at least an evil twin if that's what you would like to call it. Piccolo: But but how is he more powerful then Goku was during the fight with Nuova Shenron? Dr. Myuu: Aaah yes you see his power is the combination of him during the era of the Cell games and his little battle against Super 17 so he is well over qualified to tear you apart lucky for you you're already dead. Piccolo: Darn it! Piccolo flies toward Evil Goku but is quickly beaten down by him and Goku smirks as Piccolo lies crippled on the floor. Evil Goku looks toward Dr.Myuu and nods his head to him and puts 2 fingers to his forehead and uses instant transmission and disappears. With Piccolo crippled and down he stands and staggers away from Myuu who is now laughing. Piccolo looks back at a cackling Myuu and flies off. The next scene shows Piccolo talking to himself in a fearful tone. Piccolo: This th-this is bad. Goku's been missing a whole year from earth, and if that thing could beat me and that's not it's full potential rh-then the wh-whole universe c-could be in grave danger! to be continued in chapter 2: Goku joins the party Edited by SSJ5Elmo, Nov 5 2012, 02:28 AM.
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Nov 5 2012, 05:14 AM Post #2 |
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Awesome story, can't wait for your next episode! |
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| SSJ5Elmo | Nov 6 2012, 02:23 AM Post #3 |
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Chapter 2: Goku Joins the party Previously on Dragon Ball AF... deep inside the pits of Hell The evil Doctor Myuu had joined forces with the likes of Cell, one of Doctor Gero's evil androids. After extracting the DNA of Goku from Cell and the updated strength of Goku from Hellfighter 17 a new creation by Doctor Myuu & Cell was created, luckily enough Piccolo a former Z fighter sent to hell to repent for his wrong doings early in his life was there to stop Myuu and Cell from unleashing any harm to his friends on Earth and it's inhabitants. Piccolo defeated Cell and Doctor Myuu with ease but when the time came Myuu & Cell's creation was finished revealing it to be an evil version of Goku. Despite his best efforts Piccolo was defeated by Evil Goku and was unable to stop Myuu's plans to take over the universe from starting up. With Goku no longer among the living world and Evil Goku headed to earth will Evil Goku manage to take over Earth for the evil beings of Hell or can the Z fighters of today handle this new foe by themselves? Evil Goku teleports over Hercule city as people begin to stare upward at the sky toward evil Goku. As he sits there in the sky Goten walks out of a mall with a girl on his arm laughing, until he looks up into the sky. Goten: Haha yeah, that movie was kinda corny but . hey what's everyone looking at (looks up) huh!? Dad? Girl: Who? Goten: H-hold on Layna I gotta go real quick something's up! Goten runs off and flies into the sky toward evil Goku unaware of who it is. Goten's mind: n-no way! This is great. That energy it's gotta be dad! Goten: Hey! Dad! Evil Goku chuckles as Goten comes closer. Goten: Wait a minute you're not my fath who are y- Goten is cut off as Evil Goku hits him in the face with a Ki blast sending Goten hurtling toward the ground. The crowd starts to scatter as Goten plummets and Evil Goku opens a rapid fire of Ki blasts hitting the city and citizens. Before Goten can collide into the concrete a blur grabs him. The blur stops and Krillin puts Goten down. Krillin: You alright? Goten: That that thing that guy is not my dad! His power level is something unbelievable and he's incredibly strong but my father would have never done this. Krillin: we all know Goten. Hmph. Man to think I come to the city with 18 while Marron is off at summer camp and the first thing to happen is an attack on the city what luck huh? The scene changes to a wooded area where the blasts and destruction from the city can be heard. Rising from a patch of dandelions is Android 8. Android 8: huh? Hey 16, 17 take a look at the city somethings going on. Android 17: Hm... that's weird Goku's energy faded almost a year ago Android 16: Yes that is rather strange but this energy is most definitely the same as his but it appears to be darker. Android 17: wait! Do you sense who else is there?! It's 18 and that weak husband of hers Krillin should we go help? Android 16: She is our sister ...under these circumstances yes I don't want our sister or her friends to die. I suggest we hurry though if this things power level is as big as it seems those people will be dead long before we get there. The scene changes to rapid punches beating down Krillin by Evil Goku flying down the street as Android 18 and Goten attempt to catch up. Once along each of Evil Goku's sides Goten is kicked by Evil Goku who stops beating Krlllin to kick him and 18 away. Goten and 18 both crash into the windows of buildings as Evil Goku's attack on Krillin continues. A blur then appears in front of Krillin. It is Android 17 who uppercuts Evil Goku into the air where Android 16 holds Evil Goku down with a bear hug. Evil Goku snaps out of the bear hug but suddenly crashing through the top floor of a building Android 8 throttles downward tackling Evil Goku to the ground. A cloud of dust appears as smiles come upon Goten, Krillin and Androids 16, 17, & 18's faces. The cloud of dust settles and shows Evil Goku balancing Android 8 by the gut on one hand. Evil Goku laughs as he shoots a Ki beam destroying all traces of Android 8. Android 16, Android 17, Android 18, Krillin, Goten: NOOO!!! Evil Goku: Hahaha! Nice shot you got there almost had me . you androids are all the same though, to damn easy to kill how about this I love a good challenge I'll give you all 18 months to assemble your best fighters I think we're gonna have something a little like the Cell games but this time your opponent, is much, much stronger. Tell the others I'm here this is gonna be fun.... Evil Goku teleports out of sight and the 5 fighters stand in shock of the event that had just taken place. The scene cuts to the same 5 talking to Dende, Mr. Popo, Vegeta, Trunks, Gohan, Pan, Bra, Yamcha, Bulma, Chi Chi, Master Roshi & Uub at Dende's lookout and explain exactly what had taken place. The Z fighters discuss what to do with the dragon balls of earth unable to be used and come to the conclusion that 2 teams need to be split up. 1 team to defend Earth and 1 team to go to New Namek to repair the Earth, bring back all the people who died and bring back Goku.. The characters can't determine who will go where when suddenly a familiar face appears in the door of Dende's house. It's Tien and Chiaoutzu. Tien: So the gangs all here... I heard everything and if you don't mind I'm in! Chiaoutzu: Me too! Bulma: Alright you guys! Then it's settled So Uub, Tien, Chiaotzu, Pan, Krillin, 18. 17 & 16 can stay here and watch over Earth and Vegeta, Trunks, Goten,& Gohan can go to new Namek to get the Namekian Dragon Balls to fix what we need. Vegeta: NO! We don't need Kakarot! I can do this myself you fools do what you want but by the time you are back this dark version of Kakarot will be bleeding at my feet pleading for mercy. (flies off) Bulma: Vegeta wait! Get back here you stubborn- (Bulma is held back by Chi-Chi and Tien) Ugh fine anyone else think they can handle the journey to New Namek? Dende: I can go. I speak Namekian so once Gohan, Goten & Trunks get the 7 dragon balls I can relay their wishes to Porunga. Besides it's been ages since I have seen my people. Mr. Popo: But sir... you can't go by yourself to New Namek. You are needed here. I need you. Dende: I'm not going alone Popo. I'll be with Trunks, Gohan and Goten The Earth is safe in the hands of these guys anyway, they are all very powerful. Mr. Popo: But what about me sir? Dende: Ha don't worry yourself Popo you're coming with me Mr. Popo: b-but but I uh. Bulma: Right then it's settled. Trunks get the ship ready, you're going into space to get the Namekian Dragon Balls! So it was sealed, Tien, Chiaoutzu, Pan, Krillin, the Androids, Uub and Vegeta would stay to defend Earth to buy time for Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Mr. Popo and Dende to gather the Namekian dragon balls and have the dragon Porunga grant 3 wishes in order to be able to save earth from the Evil Goku. to be continued in chapter 3: Vegeta's rage and the gathering of the Namekian dragon balls. |
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| SSJ5Elmo | Nov 6 2012, 03:39 PM Post #4 |
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chapter 3: Vegeta's rage and the gathering of the Namekian dragon balls Previously on Dragon Ball AF... After escaping Hell, Dr.Myuu's creation, Evil Goku headed toward Hercule city. Evil Goku appeared to be just waiting in the sky, until he saw Goten. Goten seemed doomed as the Evil Goku beat him down until Goten was saved by none other then Krillin and Android 18, but even they weren't enough to defeat this Saiyan menace. Soon enough They were saved by Androids 8,16 & 17, but not for long as Evil Goku destroyed Android 8 and set a time limit of 18 months before he would demand someone fight him or he destroys the world. With Evil Goku's already done damage and the Z fighters in need of a strength like Goku's once again our heroes set their sights on sending a team to New Namek where they will assemble the Namekian dragon balls and summon Porunga. Vegeta was a part of this team but flew off when he heard the other warriors talking about bringing back Goku. In a fit of anger Vegeta flew off to find this Evil Goku as Trunks, Gohan, Goten, Mr. Popo & Dende prepare for their journey to planet New Namek. The scene starts in the rocky desert where Vegeta comes across Evil Goku. Vegeta lands behind Evil Goku and begins to talk to him. Vegeta: So this is it? Kakarot's evil twin? Pathetic tell me are you prepared to die? The scene ends just showing a smirk on Evil Goku's face. The next scene cuts to Bulma clicking at a keyboard while talking to the others. Chichi: Goten you have everything? Goten: Ugh yes mom. Chichi: food? Drinks? Underwear!? Goten: Yes mom! All that and more. Chichi: Don't you let your brother and Trunks come back to tell me you died of some alien disease caused by dirty underwear young man! You better listen to your mother, alright!? Goten: Yes mom! I know. C'mon I gotta go, the ship's almost ready. Chichi: Really? I didn't hear anything Goten. You're just trying to get your poor mother to shut up Trunks: Hey Goten! The ships almost ready! You coming in? Goten: See mom. Well I gotta go (flies up to door next to Trunks) I love you mom. Chichi: I love you too sweetie! Goten: (turns to Trunks) Thanks man, I swear arguing with my mother is worse then our fight with Broli. Trunks: Heh don't worry about it. My mom is the same way. Dende and Popo are walking down the ships hallway toward Goten and Trunks. Dende: Hey. Trunks any idea when we will be leaving. Mr. Popo and I have just finished making up the rooms. Trunks: Hey cool thanks guys. We are ready to go now actually. We're just waiting on Gohan. Goten: Hey yeah. Where is my brother? He's not on board yet? Dende: Actually I think he was just talking to Uub. The scene cuts to a dark hallway leading into the launch zone where Gohan has his hand on Uub's shoulder. Gohan: So you understand? Uub: Yes Gohan. Gohan: You're the strongest one here that I can trust I need you to watch out for Pan and Videl while I'm gone. I don't know what I'd do without them. Uub: Yes Gohan. With all my life, I will defend your family. Gohan: Thank you so much Uub. I don't know how I can repay you. I'll be back I promise!(Gohan flies inside of the ship door.) Pan: Bye daddy! Videl & Chichi: Goodbye sweetie. Bulma: alright. Blast off is in 3,2,1! all of the characters not on the ship are shown waving (except for Vegeta of course) Master Roshi: My word they have come a long way No matter how big the challenge I believe this new foe can be defeated. Android 17: You seem pretty confident old man. Master Roshi: as I should. Goku, Krillin, Yamcha . hell indirectly even Uub, Gohan and Goten I've trained them all. I'm proud to see my skill passed on to such a strong generation of fighters. The scene cuts back to evil Goku punching away at the defensed arms of Vegeta covering his body and face. Vegeta stops blocking and stands hunched and exhausted as Evil Goku stands with a smirk and without a scratch. Vegeta: You think this is over!? Graaaaaaaah!!!! (Vegeta turns into his Super Saiyan 2 state) hmph. Not even quite done . prepare to fall at my feet Kakarot! Hurrrgraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!! (Vegeta turns Super Saiyan 3) This isn't exactly my full potential but it should be enough to destroy the likes of you. Evil Goku: heh heh well then . why don't you ahead and try unless of course the prince of all saiyans is a coward. Vegeta: That's it!!! Nobody calls me a coward and gets away with it! Now you die bastard!!! Vegeta swipes with his hands linked together but Evil Goku teleports out of the way. Vegeta continously sends different swipes at Evil Goku but each time Evil Goku teleports out of the way of the attack . Finally Vegeta turns around to punched in the face twice sending him flying through a mountain. As the mountain collapses into itself and turns to rubble on top of Vegeta, Evil Goku floats upward to see the damage. Suddenly Rocks are blown every which way and emerging from settling dust is a Super Saiyan 4 Vegeta. Evil Goku: So that's it! Hahaha!! that's your full potential? Super Saiyan 4? Should I break my word on no killing for the next 18 months now and put you out of your shame? Vegeta smirks. Vegeta: Heh who said this was my final form? Behold the Ultimate form of perfection bastard! Ultimate Super Saiyan 4! Graaaaaaaaaaahhhg!!!!! to be continued in chapter 4: A change of plans Edited by SSJ5Elmo, Nov 6 2012, 03:39 PM.
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| Pookie | Nov 6 2012, 03:46 PM Post #5 |
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Pookie Powa!
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The story is pretty good. I like how you brought Evil Goku into the picture. Some things I like; -I like how the story flowed. It was easy to follow. - Good character involvement. You seem to have everyone doing something. Some aspects that could improve; -When you are writing a story, I think it is better to write in past tense. It makes it easier to read. For instance, you said;
Rather then that it should be
-Another aspect you should work on is describing the scenery more. Try being as specific as possible. You want the reader to be able to see what you are seeing.
Try doing something like this
-I also think you should give Evil Goku a name so that you don't have to continue calling him Evil Goku. Perhaps Evil Goku would call himself "Kakarrot" or something else. |
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| SSJ5Elmo | Nov 8 2012, 12:08 AM Post #6 |
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chapter 4: A change of plans Previously on Dragon Ball AF... Dende, Mr. Popo, Trunks, Goten and Gohan were sent off from capsule corp into space toward New Namek for the 7 Namekian Dragon Balls. Meanwhile Vegeta was elsewhere in the desert trying his hand at defeating the Evil Goku created by Doctor Myuu to take over the universe. Vegeta was unsuccessful trying to defeat Evil Goku with super saiyans 1,2 and 3, when all hope seemed to be lost Vegeta turned into a Super Saiyan 4 and then continued to power up beyond that. Can there really be something beyond Super Saiyan 4 and can Vegeta defeat Evil Goku before our heroes reach Planet Namek? Find out now on Dragon Ball AF! Vegeta continues to power up as his eyes turn blank and his muscles ripple and bulk with veins. Vegeta: Behold Kakarot! Ultimate Super Saiyan 4! Evil Goku: Kakarot? I rather like that name actually. It helps seperate me from that pansy my genetics are based off of maybe I will be called Kakarot now. Vegeta: Pfft stop pondering you nincompoop I'm going to destroy you, you bastard! Kakarot: Destroy? Me? Bwahahahahahaha! Don't make me laugh Vegeta! Haven't you noticed? I'm still in my first form. I haven't even touched any super saiyan let alone kaioken levels. I am truly the ultimate warrior here. Vegeta: You shut up dammit! I'll destroy you! Grah! Vegeta punched Kakarot in the gut and swung around with a heavy kick to the back of his head. Kakarot was thrown off guard but transported out of the way of a second kick and Vegeta is beaten down with a series of bicycle kicks. As Vegeta is beaten more and more he slowly reverts back from Ultimate Super Saiyan 4 back to his original state until Vegeta is knocked out. As Vegeta's unconscious body hit the ground Kakarot laughed and grabbed Vegeta by the collar and flew off into the sky. The scene changes to Kakarot landing in front of Capsule corp where everyone is shocked, scared and ready to fight Kakarot. Kakarot: change of plans (he throws Vegeta's knocked out body down in front of the remaining team as Bulma and Yamcha rush to Vegeta's side.) Bulma your husband there has quite a mouth on him. I find him rather annoying . so here's the new rules . which you can thank Vegeta for everyone. For every month before you send me my big challenge I will destroy 1 city. Krillin: N-no way you you c-can't do that! Kakarot: Oh Krillin, and you're going to stop me? You have died at least 4 times before, don't you dare step up to me and make it a 5th!heh heh heh. So then it's settled every month I go without an opponent a city dies Android 17: can we have an opponent sent each month to prevent you from destroying the city? Knowing we would lose I mean until you get the opponent you need. Kakarot: Of course the more victims the better. So let me guess you're bringing back my better half? Goku? Very well then. It sounds great to me. 1 opponent a month until you bring me Goku . if you run out of fighters before Goku the earth dies. Android 17: hmph . I'll be your first opponent then. I want revenge for number 8. You destroyed him and I want some pay back after that. Kakarot: Hahahaha! Very well then. I will see you at the end of the month. Android 17 versus Kakarot. Farewell. (Kakarot flies off) Bulma: di-did he just call himself Kakarot? Pan: well he certainly has the power level of grampa but he's nothing like him. Android 18: 17! are you sure about this? Android 17: Hm of course he killed 8 besides I owe you after I was taken over by Gero and killed Krillin. I'll take on this monster and make peace. Android 16: In that case 17 shall we show them? Android 17: ha of course! Meanwhile in space the Capsule corp ship was nearing New Namek. The computer bleeps and suddenly Goten, Trunks, Dende, Mr. Popo and Gohan receive a message from a strange voice and it says. Strange voice: Unidentified aircraft please turn around. You are reaching Planet Slug. Lord Slug has ordered us to shoot down any and all alien air crafts that near the planet. This is your first and final warning before ultimate destruction. Turn around or die now... Gohan: Lord Lord Slug? Not him! Dende: But how? I thought he was just a bed time story? Goten: Hey I don't want to interrupt anything you guys but who exactly is Lord Slug? Dende: Long ago before I was even born. Lord Slug was a Namekian who was banished from our planet after an attempt to take it over with a group of former Frieza soldiers. Until Nails defeated him and he fled the planet we never had never seen or heard of him again after that. Gohan: Nails? You mean the Namekian who enfused himself with Piccolo? Dende: Yes, the very one. But tell me Gohan how do you know of Lord Slug? Gohan: When I was a kid, he came to earth with a bunch of men and took over, submerging the planet in darkness. My father was able to stop him when he went super Namek his ears were sensitive to whistling, but my dad killed him, we all saw it how could he possibly be back? to be continued in chapter 5: Lord Slug returns and the Androids new power |
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| Pookie | Nov 8 2012, 02:25 AM Post #7 |
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Pookie Powa!
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This chapter was better! I like the humor behind it too. I always wondered how it would be if Goku back talked to Vegeta. I finally got to see it in action. Hm, I wonder what Lord Slug is up to? |
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Nov 8 2012, 05:46 AM Post #8 |
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This is a good story, continue, continue. I also like how you've written the story, so it's easy to follow. I like that it's a series after GT, and it's not too crazy, but could actually fit just well. Honestly when I hear or see something of AF.. It goes through my head all the crazy and non real Super Saiyan transformations and fusion characters. The bonus is how is follows GT pretty well. Keep it up I'm really interested. |
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| SSJ5Elmo | Nov 10 2012, 04:43 AM Post #9 |
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chapter 5: Lord Slug returns and the Androids new power Previously on Dragon Ball AF Vegeta was defeated by Evil Goku now known as Kakarrot. Despite his greatest efforts as an Ultimate Super Saiyan 4 Vegeta was no match for Kakarot and after only landing 2 blows Vegeta was hit with a montage of kicks forcing him unconscious. Kakarot flew Vegeta's knocked out body to the remaining heroes at capsul corp and dropped him off. Kakarot then made a new deal where once a month until Goku was brought back to earth a fight will be had to save a city from destruction by Kakarot. After receiving the news Android 17 agreed to be the first challenger and Androids 16 and 17 revealed a new plan. Meanwhile on the way to New Namek Goten, Trunks, Dende, Popo and Gohan were warned to turn away when somehow the evil Lord Slug had came back from the dead and took over New Namek and renamed it Planet Slug. Can Kakarot be defeated before Goku is brought back to life? What is the Androids plan? Can Gohan and the others save New Namek from Lord Slug? Find out now on a new episode of Dragon Ball AF... Slug henchman: You have until 3 .2 1.... you have failed to turn away prepare for death. A look of shock comes across all of the characters faces as Trunks grabs the controls of the ship and dashes it fast toward New Namek or Planet Slug dodging ki blast after ki blast. Finally Trunks manages to pull away from the ki blast and land in a field in front of a cave. The outside of the ship is shown smoking as a hatchet opens revealing more smoke as Dende, Popo, Trunks, Goten and Gohan hop out coughing. Trunks: kaff man this thing better not be busted. Dende: well then our 3 wishes could be to repair the ship, reverse the damage done by Evil Goku and bring back Goku. Goten: Hey yeah! That's a great idea Dende. Gohan: then it's settled but first before we get the Namekian dragon balls I say we take care of Lord Slug once and for all! The scene changes to a dark kings chamber where a soldier brings Lord Slug the 2 star Namekian dragon ball on one knee. Lord Slug slowly takes it and laughs as he drops the 2 star dragon ball on a pillow with the 6 others. Lord Slug: Finally, the 2 star dragon ball is mine hmph my three wishes what were they again Dretz? A Namekian similar in face to Nails with a scar on his left eye a white a white collared cape and yellow baggy pants with a purple sash belt and brown Namekian shoes. Dretz: hahaha well #1 bring you back to life officially after escaping Hell in the Janemba incident years ago #2 Immortality and #3 5 times your original power level. Lord Slug:hmmm ah yes then back to earth where I can destroy that Goku once and for all and take over that darn planet as I intended. Dretz: well sir shall I summon Porunga now? Lord Slug: hmph Dretz I can do it myself you're my body guard not my servant. Now (Lord Slug raises his arms and chants in Namekian and then speaks) now Porunga RISE!! (nothing happens) RISE! (again more nothing) Dammit what's going on!? I'm a Namekian I should have no problems summoning Porunga! Dretz: Yes sir but you're dead only Namekians among the living can bring Porunga to our world. A soldier runs into Lord Slug's room. Soldier: sir! 5 men have fought there way through our defences their at the front door sir .. what should we do!? Lord Slug: another Namekian rebellion? Soldier: No sir only one among them is a Namekian and he does not seem to be a fighter. Only the 3 saiyans. Lord Slug: Saiyans! Blast it I am sick of Saiyans attempting to foil my plans. Dretz: saiyans? I haven't heard that name in a long time please Lord Slug allow me to take care of these intruders? Lord Slug: hmm yes Dretz take care of those scum kill them all. Dretz: heh heh, thank you. (Dretz teleports out of the room) a front door is kicked down leading into a large room where Gohan Trunks and Goten enter. Followed behind them are Dende and Popo. Gohan: Alright Slug, get out here! (Dretz appears in front of the 3 fighters) Dretz: I'm sorry. This is as far as you go gentlemen I'm Dretz and I'm going to kill you. (Dretz then tosses his cape asside) Goten: Man he's got a pretty good power level guys. Trunks: sh-should we fuse? Gohan: No. I can handle this. you 4 run ahead I want to test my new strength. After Omega Shenron died Trunks, Dende, Goten and Popo run ahead passed Dretz. Gohan: So why'd you let them pass if this is as far as we go? Dretz: because the me you see before you is one of my Dretz spawns the real me is in the room their headed too. I'm just a clone shaped from the mind of Dretz. You see Saiyan Namekians have telepathic psychic abilities. The kind used to talk to you inside your mind. I advanced passed my brethren and turned it into a fighting technique where I create matter. It developed into a way for me to create my own Dretz spawns. Gohan: so that means! Dretz: Yes your friends are about to face the real me the me that's twice as powerful. The scene changes to back on earth where 17 and 16 had agreed to show their new power. The 2 begin charging their energy when suddenly 17 bursts into Super 17 and 16 bursts into Super 16 (16 but taller and thinner with green padding on his elbows, wrists, knees and ankles.) Krillin: w-wow when did that happen? Super 17: You see when that Hell fighter android fused itself into me and I was killed and brought back by the dragon balls I was somehow oable to power up into this Super 17 form, minus the evil, much like Goku would go super saiyan or even Cell reaching his perfect form. Android 18: then 16 how-? Super 16: When I discovered his new power 17 and I started training as fighters again in case another incident like the one with Hell fighter 17 were to happen. We attempted the fusion technique but instead of fusing 17 and I it transferred our data streams giving me the ability to reach my super form as well. Krillin: wow, man am I glad you're on our side huh? Vegeta: kaff kaff Bulma: Guys, Vegeta's not looking so good let's get him inside and patched up. The scene changes to Kakarot talking to a hologram of Dr. Myuu being projected from Kakarot's right eye in a dark cave. Dr. Myuu: How are things on earth Evil Goku? Kakarot: please sir. Call me Kakarot Dr.Myuu: ugh I wish these creations would stop developing minds of their own. Answer the question please Kakarot. Kakarot: Very well. I have given them 18 months to try and stop me and then the earth will be all yours once I beat all of their heroes. Dr. Myuu: that wasn't the plan! Kakarot: you listen to me you old fool! I may have been created by you but I am the most powerful being in existence. If I had it my way the world would be destroyed in fact Dr. Myuu enjoy hell I'm destroying this planet when my time limit runs out. to be continued in Chapter 6: 17 vs Kakarot and the wrath of Dretz |
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| sephcel24 | Nov 10 2012, 07:03 AM Post #10 |
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Art prevails!
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nice one but i think i rode it before anyways great job |
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| SSJ5Elmo | Nov 10 2012, 04:44 PM Post #11 |
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Chapter 6: 17 vs Kakarot and the wrath of Dretz Previously on Dragon Ball AF... Gohan and the others were confronted by an evil Namekian by the name of Dretz. Dretz and Gohan readied for battle as Goten, Trunks, Dende and Mr. Popo ran forward to find Lord Slug and defeat him to free the Namekian people, however as Gohan prepared for battle it had turned out he had sent Goten and the others into a trap revealing the Dretz before him as a fake and the others to be headed toward the real more powerful Dretz. Meanwhile back on earth Androids 16 and 17 revealed their new power which they believe will be enough to defeat Kakarot. While Androids 16 and 17 showed off their super form Kakarot betrayed his creator, Dr. Myuu when he decided he would destroy earth for his own pleasure rather then dominate it for his creators. Can Gohan reach the others in time to stop the real Dretz? Can Goten, Trunks, Dende & Popo defeat this evil Namekian on their own? What will come of the battle between Android 17 and Kakarot? Find out now on Dragon Ball AF! Kakarot walked out of the cave and looked into the sky and scowled. Kakarot floats into the air slowly and shoots off speeding in the sky as he spoke to himself. Kakarot: Hmph now that I am doing as I please I want my battle now Kakarot sends a telpathic message to the people of earth. Kakarot's telepathic speaking: People of Earth I am Kakarot, the most powerful being in all the galaxy. I have come to this planet to destroy this place and kill all life on it. You see I have given you people a time limit of 18 months before I do so, but things change once a month I require a challenge to keep me from killing this planet . Android 17! you agreed to be my first victim I want you here now. You will sense my energy and will know where to find me. You have 3 hours before I kill this blasted planet. The lives of these people are in your hands be on your way. The scene changes to a look of shock upon all of the faces of the team at capsule corps infirmary where Vegeta is laying in bed as they all begin to speak. Bulma: No way! He can't do that. He said we had till the end of the month. Android 17: Unfortunately he's so powerful he can do that, and he did. I have no choice and no time to train. Those of you who want to see what he's capable of, come with me. The rest of you should stay here. Yamcha: I'll go. I may not be as strong as anyone here but I know when it comes down to it my death can still buy time. I'm in. Tien: Me too. I didn't rejoin the team for nothing. I want to see this guys power, if he's anything like Goku, it's gonna be one hell of a challenge. Android 18: Krillin and I will go. Krillin: we-we are? Android 18: 17 is my brother. If he has to die today I want to be there for him. Android 16: I should go to our ultimate synchro move should be enough to do the trick nobody will have to die. Android 17: but we haven't perfected it yet. Android 16: we have no choice. If it comes down to it 17, we will have to try it. Android 17: hm. Right then let's go. The scene changes to the fighters who agreed to go leaving capsule corp. 17 opens the front door to see Yajirobe standing in front of the building. Krillin: H-hey! Yajirobe, what's up!? Yajirobe: Korrin sent me. We all heard what that Kakarot guy said. Korrin said to give you this. (Yajirobe tosses 17 a small cloth bag with something in it) Android 17: what, what is it? Yajirobe: Their senzu beans. If you're badly damaged eat one and it'll heal you right up. Yamcha: awesome! Thanks Yajirobe! Yajirobe: Hey don't thank me, I don't like coming here to give you guys this crap, Korrin just makes me. Krillin: heh heh same old Yajirobe. Tien: So. Yajirobe, are coming with us to watch the battle unfold? Yajirobe: ha, hells no. I'm not looking to die, it was bad enough when I had to come in the middle of the battle with Vegeta to give you guys senzu beans, I think that's enough. Android 17: Well thank you Yajirobe. Come we only have less then 3 hours before Kakarot does something, we need to get there quick! Krillin: right! The team flies off as the scene changes to Gohan in Lord Slug's palace missing punch and kick after punch and kick at Dretz who is teleporting out of the way of each attack. Dretz appears behind Gohan and hammers him back to the ground with 2 fists. Gohan lands on his feet and blows the Dretz clone to the wall with a wave of energy as Gohan bursts into super saiyan. Gohan: ENOUGH! Gohan then barraged the clone of Dretz with a series of ki blasts. The dust clears and nobody is there. The Dretz clone appears behind Gohan and knees him in the back and swipes him in the back of the head with a right hand sending Gohan crashing into the wall. Gohan bounces off the wall head first and is smashed back into the wall as the Dretz clone thrusts his shoulder into the back of Gohan, crushing him into the wall. Gohan: get OFF! HRAH (a wave of energy blasts Dretz away as Gohan powers up) hraaaaaaaahhh!! Gohan bursts into a super saiyan 3 state as the Dretz clone stands in disbelief. Dretz clone: n-no it can't be! What power! Far ahead Goten, Trunks, Popo and Dende stop and turn around at the burst of energy. Trunks: No-no way! Goten, do you sense that? It's so strong. Goten: it can't be, hey that's Gohan! Dende: Great! It looks like we can move along with no further issue. Dretz: Not exactly . hahahahahahahahahahaha!! Trunks: But but your back there getting beat by Gohan! Dretz: no no child that's a clone of myself I used my powers to make. Here allow me clone! Return! The Dretz clone teleports back highly damaged in front of Dretz huffing and puffing. Dretz: hmmmmm disappointing well then let' begin. The scene goes back to Gohan who now powers down back to normal. Gohan: hey where'd he go. No way! I have to get to them! Gohan dashes flying forwardtoward the others as the scene changes into the others on earth flying to a rocky desert where Kakarot is waiting. Kakarot: Hmph. Took you long enough now let's get started 17 jumps down from the mountain where the others stood to the ground floor where Kakarot stands. The 2 stare off as they ready for battle the tension grows high and 2 great battles begin to come into play. The last scene is 17 and Kakarot standing off and Gohan flying towards the others as they all stand there staring at the real more powerful Dretz. to be continued in chapter 7: The battles begin! |
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| SSJ | Nov 10 2012, 04:48 PM Post #12 |
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Looks good man, nice plot ideas! Keep it up. |
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