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| What's it like having a dad? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 10 2012, 03:31 PM (1,794 Views) | |
| Paste-Ninja | Jun 10 2012, 03:31 PM Post #1 |
Shadow of the Anbu Black Ops
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I've never had a dad, he left when i was a couple months. He used to beat my mum, so i know nothing about him, not even his name. So, i've wondered for a while now, what's having a dad like? 
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 I'm just a piece of trash.. but there are things I learned. The hole in your heart is something other people can fill. If you reject your friends' feelings and this world.. Just because something didn't go as you wished, no one will ever come to you. And so that hole won't be filled either, if you just run away without doing anything people won't do anything for you either.. As long as you don't give up, you can still be saved | |
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| + Clearin | Jun 10 2012, 03:39 PM Post #2 |
 
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That's terrible, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not so sure there's any set answer for this question, everyone's dad will be different. Some dad's may be role models for their children, and be supporting, kind people who help their sons/daughters on whenever needed. Others might be abusive and just overall horrible people. Some may spoil their children, while others may give out more "tough love". But yeah each persons experience with their father will probably be different to another persons. Personally I've always felt like a dad should be a person you could go to whenever you're at a hard time in your life, or you need support with something. He shouldn't spoil you but he should always be willing to help you achieve what you want. |
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| + Pelador | Jun 10 2012, 03:43 PM Post #3 |
Crazy Awesome Legend
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Well not all dad's are the same so I'll provide two examples who I know very well. First of all my own dad. He is the real life version of Homer Simpson. Complete with the pot belly and lack of intelligence. However, he is one of the nicest and most sociable men you could ever meet. He would go out of his way to make me happy. He loves me and my family very much and despite a lack of common sense and practical skills, he does try very hard. He's a really good dad really. Now another dad I know, also a really great guy. He's my mother's best friend's husband. He's similar to my dad in terms of how much he cares for his family and how friendly he is but he is way better looking and way more intelligent. Of course these are only good examples of dad's. There are plenty of men out there who are just abysmal fathers. However I don't recall ever meeting any. I suppose I'm very lucky that my dad is so very caring and loves me and my family above anything else. So what's it like having a dad? For me it's nice to have somebody who provides for us and looks after us and will always be there when we need him. |
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| + Dan | Jun 10 2012, 03:48 PM Post #4 |
Better than Red.
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I've heard it's good. I wouldn't know but that's what I've heard. |
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Is it too late to tell you that I don't mind. Keep Calm And Chupa No Pilau        
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| * Stark | Jun 10 2012, 03:53 PM Post #5 |
Rock Lobster
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My dad, heh. We usually argue, but he's still awesome and he's the person in the family who knows me better, and I love spendingmy time with him when he isn't nervous. A dad is a person who helps you out a lot and makes you feel protected and, yeah, better. When I need to talk with someone, it's usually him. We get along quite good, even though, as I already said, sometimes we argue. I'm just talking about me here, because I don't really know any other dad that good, so yeah, that's my experience. So sad to know you don't have one, Nicole. 
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| + Pyrus | Jun 10 2012, 06:18 PM Post #6 |
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I wouldn't really know. I never had a father. But I know if I had a child, I wouldn't abandon him. I would be there to support him, take care of him, teach him, have fun with him, and just generally be there. |
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| Strawberry | Jun 10 2012, 06:22 PM Post #7 |
Chiaroscuro ♥
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That's really awful to hear, Saiyan Girl! You don't know his name? How old were you when your dad disappeared from your life? I suppose not everybody is going to have the same experience of what having a dad is like... but I don't think a dad's role differs very much from a mother's role (even though there tends to be stereotypes about each role individually). A dad is basically another parental figure who's supposed to love you unconditionally and protect/guide you throughout your life the best way possible to assure you become a healthy, strong, independent individual. I can say that my relationship with my dad isn't the best either. My parents divorced when I was very little and my dad ended up fleeing off to another country for some years to run away from all the drama and try to get himself back together. What happened was that he put himself above everyone else at that time and ended up leaving a very broken family at home, which resulted in a cronic depression for my mom and a messed up childhood for my brother (he protected me a lot during this crisis, so I didn't suffer nearly as much as him). Luckily he was able to admit his mistake and he did what he could to try to make up for his selfish decision... and right now I can say I have a good relationship with my dad. He fought hard to get our love and trust in him back... and even though he's still living in a different country and I don't get to see him a lot... he makes a big effort to be as present in my life as possible, so yeah. Things are good now. Which brings me back to my initial point that not all dads are the same and not everybody will have the same experience to tell you here in this thread. I suppose if your dad was a violent person towards your mother it was best for you to grow up without him. |
  ♪ ♥ ♫ Across The Universe
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| Paste-Ninja | Jun 10 2012, 06:26 PM Post #8 |
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Shadow of the Anbu Black Ops
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Not even a year old, i was only a couple of months when he left :\\ |
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I'm just a piece of trash.. but there are things I learned. The hole in your heart is something other people can fill. If you reject your friends' feelings and this world.. Just because something didn't go as you wished, no one will ever come to you. And so that hole won't be filled either, if you just run away without doing anything people won't do anything for you either.. As long as you don't give up, you can still be saved | |
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| sylentknyte | Jun 10 2012, 06:53 PM Post #9 |
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Awe, I'm sorry to hear that sweetie The reality is, having a dad will be different for all people, since every dad is a different person. Some people have the best fathers in the world, some have meh fathers, some don't have fathers, and some have awful fathers. For me, my dad was heavily into drinking and his own life, and didn't really have a lot of time for me. He wasnt abusive, but he just never cared about me that much. I would probably see him once every couple of weeks. I do have some good memories with him though, so its not all bad. I was lucky enough to have a great mom, but I always did feel that there was a void of a male role-model in my life. It really used to bother me as a kid, and into my teenage years, but now as a man I've gotten past it all. Through him, I've learned what not to do as a father. I don't really want kids, but if I had them, I honestly think I'd be a great dad. I know it has to hurt that he did that to you, and I'm sorry. Every kid deserves a great father, but reality doesnt always work that way. My cousin was in the same boat, has probably seen his father a handful of times in his life. Heres the main thing though, I don't know you very well,or what your situation in life is, but from what I've seen here you seem to be a very beautiful young woman. You must have gone through a lot up to this point, and you've come through it all without him. You can keep going, and you can live a happy life. He really missed out. Edited by sylentknyte, Jun 10 2012, 06:55 PM.
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| mystickaioken | Jun 10 2012, 07:07 PM Post #10 |
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Very sorry to hear that.I have a couple friends whos fathers were never there for them and its sad to see a parent not being responsible. My father was my best friend, brother and the best human being I will most likely ever have known. My dad passed away 3 years ago and a significant piece of me went with him. Having a great father has such an impact in your life that sometimes you dont even realize how great it is. Especially when you can talk to him about pretty much anything. I dont know what its like not to have a dad but I know what its like to lose a great dad who was everything to you. You will be fine you've gotten this far in your life and that is gonna make you a stronger person. Someday this will make you a strong and faithful mother if you decide to have kids. |
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| Plush | Jun 10 2012, 08:47 PM Post #11 |
The gun that won that old Wild West
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I wouldn't really know either. My dad never really walked out of my life completely, he was just never there when me or my mom needed him. Me and my mom lived with him in a trailer when I was very little and he would beat my mom up regularly and he left permanent scars on me. Most of this was probably due to him being the worst kind of crackhead there is, and he actually stole money from me on my birthday, and he's also bipolar. I haven't seen him in about a year after I went to stay with him for about 2 weeks until it ended with a fist fight between me and him. Last I heard my mom told me he and my uncle went to prison or are fugitives or something for driving around with a meth lab in their truck. dumb asses. I don't think were missing out on much to be honest. it sounds like you and your mom were better off without your dad if he beat up your mom like that, just like me and my mom were better off without my dad. They were both losers and if they stayed around it would of probably just caused a lot more pain and misery. Closet thing I've had to a dad is my step-dad but I've never been able to appreciate having a fatherly figure in my life over hating him so much. I'd have a much funner life without him in it but he adds some kind of structure to my life, and I think that's what dads are supposed to do, even if you don't like, I think it makes you a better person. I can't say if I had a kid tomorrow I'd be much better though. Maybe my dad's way of parenting rubbed off on me a bit. |
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| Pookie | Jun 11 2012, 01:13 AM Post #12 |
Pookie Powa!
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I have to say saiyangirl you are very strong and you are a great person regardless of where your dad went. He is the one missing out on a great daughter and it's a terrible shame that there are parents that abandon their children. Most children end up growing up and being better than their parents. From personal experience, I wish everyone could have a father like mine. I would share my father with everyone on this forum and everyone who never had a father. My parents have been married for 35 years which their anniversary was May 27th. My father does have his good and bad. His bad are his smoking habits and his bad temper (which I probably got from him), but he is a hard worker and very caring. He always treated me with respect, kindness, love, and I can joke around with him about anything. He always tells me how I am his princess and he likes to brag about my accomplishments to everyone. My father couldn't go to many of my soccer games when I was growing up or to any of my graduations because he was always working. However, I knew he was doing it so I could have a better life and he always made sure to spend his free time with me. I knew he was doing all that for me so I knew I couldn't let him down . I stayed away from drugs, alcohol, and didn't stay out late. I always made sure to make him proud. In a way, it's like I had two fathers. My brother is 9 years older than me and is more like my dad than my brother. He took me to my games and always guided me in life. He always helped me when I needed it. No matter how much I was bullied or teased I always knew I had people who cared about me at home and that's what it is all about. People who care about you and make you feel significant. It does not necessarily have to be a mother or a father. True friends can do that too. I realize how fortunate I am and somehow I wish I could share the safeness I felt throughout my childhood to all of you, but you know what? I see you all being stronger and more capable because of the hardships you faced. The fact that you guys know the wrong doings of your fathers makes you that much better. I <3 you all. |
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| Bluesummers | Jun 11 2012, 05:23 AM Post #13 |
 
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My parents divorced several years ago. They had many arguments over the years and eventually chose to split up and live separate lives. My sister and I had the displeasure of choosing which parent to stay with. I stayed with my mom and my sister went with my dad. My mom was always nice to me. Unfortunately she would make very little money compared to my dad and they still have financial arguments. I eventually moved out from her apartment to live with my Dad & Sister at their home. My dad and I don't always see eye to eye, but I really love him and I know he cares about me. There are some things he does that I don't like though, like burping in my face without warning. Other than that i'd say having a dad has been an interesting experience lol |
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Jun 11 2012, 02:23 PM Post #14 |
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I think the text under my username just about sums up my dad. {LOL n/a anymore} A dad like you described doesn't even deserve to have you in the first place, but not all fathers are the same, so my viewpoint is just one of many. Asking what it's like to have a dad is like asking to describe the traits of some person you know well; sure, it's not as vague as that, but it varies. Edited by Nimbo-Bimbo lord of all noobs, Jun 15 2012, 11:44 PM.
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| Sasuke | Jun 15 2012, 05:59 AM Post #15 |
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I can't describe it. It's a pleasure and at times a nuisance. Regardless it's not something one can describe if you have someone you look up to who's a adult can probably the closest resemblance to what a father is. Like others have said a father isn't necessarily a good one or even one who raises you. It's totally dependent on the person. My father for instance is someone who in most cases is intelligent person and who cares deeply for he's family considering how he raised us. However it doesn't mean he's perfect he has he's times where he yells insane and completely rude things. In all he is a good person just someone raised differently is all and I have sympathy for him on that but I do love him for the fact that he raised us in one of the most pressured filled times ever. So I like I said it's hard to describe and it's different for person. |
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