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26th Book of Saiyajin Mythology
Topic Started: Feb 24 2012, 05:11 AM (715 Views)
+ Pyrus
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Twenty-Sixth Book of Saiyajin Mythology


Two hundred years after the defeat of Omega Shenron, life on Earth had finally gotten back to normal. Gohan wrote twenty-five books on the biology and history of the Saiyans, allowing the other races to become aware of past events. Soon after his twenty-sixth book went into production, Gohan was struck down by a rogue boar, leaving his wife and children hapless.

Kneeling in front of Gohan’s casket, Oolong wept wildly, feeling guilty that he’d never gotten close to the half-breed. “Gohan, I am so sorry… I always thought you were brilliant!”

A stick of butter slid in between Oolong’s plump lips as Mrs. Briefs appeared behind him, caressing the top of his pink head. He purred slowly as she shoved him out of the way, and her bodyguards carried him off. She stared into Gohan’s casket, examining his body. She’d done the autopsy, but hadn’t been able to truly look at what he’d become after two hundred years of writing books and teaching history for a living. What she saw made her vomit something in her mouth.

No longer did he have the physique of a fighter. No longer did he have a full head of hair. No longer was he nearly six feet tall. No longer was his skin a normal shade of peach. No longer did he have the aura of a champion – a world savior.

He was pathetic, and the onlookers knew this. They didn’t dare laugh in front of him, but with their backs turned, their incredible noise reached lengths previously unheard of for the human frequency.

Coldness seeped in through the wide open doorway next to the casket, shriveling Gohan’s dead skin past the point of recognition. It was almost as if Mother Nature was messing with him now. She grasped him in her icy grip and whisked him out the door, sliding his body ruthlessly down the high mountain. It slid for days until it eventually reached the bottom, being torn apart by wolves.

Watching idly as her friend’s body was taken away, Bulma Briefs smirked, happy to see that bastard get what was coming to him. She’d always secretly hated him for being the spawn of Goku and Chi-Chi, two people she longed to imitate. Her marriage had never been perfect, and seemingly got better when Vegeta died of laughing too hard.

“Did you guys see where Roshi put the skillet? I wanted to make some eggs and rice in celebration, but I can’t seem to find any kitchen utensils.” Launch was as pretty as ever, which was expected after she’d been drowned in the Fountain of Eternal Youth by Tien, Roshi, Krillin, and Yamcha as a sexually motivated prank.

“Are you stupid? Chi-Chi took all of that stupid people crap with her when she moved to the ocean!” Puar shouted, morphing into a skillet and assaulting Launch as Mrs. Briefs guffawed wickedly.

Suddenly, the roof was torn from atop, and Mr. Briefs jetted in, showering them with his happiness. His smile made everybody else happy, no matter what. “Where did everyone go?” he asked as he landed on top of his wife.

“Goku and Vegeta died six hundred years ago, Dad,” Bulma admitted. “Goten was absorbed by Pan and they were both sent to Hell. Trunks died of pancreatic cancer. Piccolo flipped King Yemma the bird and left Hell, only to be killed in a fight with Android 18. How could you forget all that?”

“I guess I just don’t care,” her father said, rubbing the back of his head.
Edited by Pyrus, Feb 24 2012, 05:12 AM.
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Lssj Future Trunks
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Trunks is the Legendary Super Saiyan

One question, how can Trunks die of something as pathetic as pancreatic cancer? Trunks is immune to all diseases

Aside from that, nice job, something that's not one of those other generic fanfics
Trunks is the true Legendary Super Saiyan. Broly pales in comparison to him.

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Nimbo-Bimbo lord of all noobs
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Oh god what? Good writing and everything, but the story strikes me as odd. I'm intrigued to see any sort of explanation/aftermath of these events though.
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Auld-Dog
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This is a special read, Amusing.
Doesnt take itself too seriously.
Title suggests more than is delivered, monkey wrench in the works sort of read.
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Big thumbs up to member, -Zero- for the means to the sig. ;)
Nicholas D. Wildwood gets the credit for creating and designing the sig.

GUYVER: World War 2
Link to my Guyver fanfic set in an alternate World War 2.

DBZ Legends
DBZ Legends, revamp of my old fan fic

The Spartan ::: Galaxy 8,291's Schism Troupe
ZeroVerse collaboration stories.
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FamousBueller
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Super Asian

Lol this was terrible, i mean it couldve been better, i can see bulma hating chi chi but i wanted to know more about the books

Edit: i dont mean the story is terrible it just endin terrible, i thought more was going to come from it, i didnt understand the gohan thing
Edited by FamousBueller, Apr 26 2012, 06:19 AM.
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Deleted User
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FamousBueller
Apr 26 2012, 04:20 AM
Lol this was terrible, i mean it couldve been better, i can see bulma hating chi chi but i wanted to know more about the books
haha wow little harsh dont you think. im interested with where this is going though, bulmas a bad ***** b!tch
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Copy_Ninja
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Novacane for the pain

I lol'd, which was probably your intention with this fic. Seems like some people didn't get it...
Posted ImageWe'll never be those kids again
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Megasaiyan
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Osz Karoly Szilard

Sorry, I have nothing good to say about this one. I didn't even laugh.:(
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+ Pyrus
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I was depressed and didn't give a ***** about anything when I wrote this, so I don't even remember what the purpose was, if there was one at all. I might write a sequel later because I'm in that mood again.
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Megasaiyan
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Osz Karoly Szilard

Why are you depressed? Don't take it out on DBZ...
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