Pookie

Aug 21 2011, 04:29 AM

It is really difficult being a girl. I'm not sure if guys realize that, but it really is. My whole life I have wanted to wait until I was married to have intercourse. You know how many times I was told that guys would never ever wait? I was told a bajillion times. You try to stick to your morals as a girl, but people put you down. If you sleep around too much, you are slut, yet you see the popular girls get all the guys and wonder; What is wrong with me? I was friends with a girl who was a lot prettier than me at the time because wow I was really a tomboy with bad acne and a weird haircut lol. She promised me that she would wait until she was married to have sex. Did that happen? Nope it did not. She went out with a guy that had a bad temper/violent and who kissed everyone. Violent? He broke a chair in a movie theatre. I told her not to, but she told me "I was jealous because she was getting guys and I wasn't." I haven't talked to her since then, but my cousin tells me she has been around the block. Well great for sticking with morals right?

Anyway, so if you sleep with people you are slut. If you don't sleep with anyone, then you are inexperienced and no guy wants that of course. It seems now and days virginity isn't appreciate, and I was taught it is valuable. When I was growing up, I was always told that men want to feel as if the girl is really theirs. Men are by nature somewhat territorial. Honestly, some men need to make up their minds. I'm fine with my morals, and I don't plan on changing for anyone. I think it is what makes me unique and happy. A man should love me for what is me. You can take it or leave it. I'm worth more than a bed. I'm one of a kind and that makes me special. I wish all girls would be like that, but it seems some give into the pressure.

I mean after all a man=self esteem, which is what we are taught from day 1 or so many girls tend to think. If you have a man, you are automatically above everyone else. You are better than the girl trying to study hard, get good grades, and make something of herself. When I was in high school, I couldn't be happy because no high school boy apparently would ever love me as some kid told me when I rejected him due to the fact that he was only asking me out for a joke. However, I still stuck with my morals because some guys are full of complete bull**** and so are some girls. You try to do the right thing for the female gender, but they just make it hard on the rest of us because of the value they put on a man's "love." You have to earn a man's love just like with a woman's. A man will love if he meets the right girl. I don't think many girls understand that and just try to do anything even objectifying themselves for a man's attention.

Necifix

Aug 21 2011, 04:37 AM

Right, but, it comes off as you're blaming men for that. At least, to me.

Though, I agree. It takes strength to see through the haze of what is and isn't a norm, or acceptable. But, in the end, you just have to compare that with your own values and decide what's worth it and what isn't. It seems like you made your choice, and that's good. Many people haven't at that point in their life. Whatever the choice, whether anyone else agrees or disagrees, is your own.

ObsessiveFanGirl

Aug 21 2011, 04:45 AM

You're completely right to feel that way, Pookie. Some men are pigs who only think about that kind of stuff. Others are genuinely nice and still think about that kind of stuff. Either way, a man will always think about that sort of thing, unlike women. They always have sex on their minds. That doesn't mean that all men are complete jerks about it, but they're still a completely different breed of humans than females are.

I, too, want to wait until marriage, and it's sometimes been hard. I've been in relationships where I've been tested, but that's only made me stronger as an individual. I've also learned that while some men are very loving and caring and want nothing more than my happiness, they also have sex on their minds. All guys do. And most guys like that will respect you if you turn them down. Most good guys out there (the ones that are worth dating) will always respect you for your decisions, so don't feel like you're inexperienced in any way. You're perfect just the way you are.

Pookie

Aug 20 2011, 07:50 PM

Most guys realize that going around sleeping with every girl you see is a lonely existence. Yeah you get the pleasure, but where is the happiness with having companionship? Girls are more than just sexual tools.

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Current understanding is that many species that were formerly believed monogamous have now been proven to be promiscuous or opportunistic in nature; a wide range of species appear both to masturbate and to use objects as tools to help them do so; in many species animals try to give and get sexual stimulation with others where procreation is not the aim; and homosexual behaviour has now been observed among 1,500 species and in 500 of those it is well documented.[1]

Quote:

 

It is really difficult being a girl. I'm not sure if guys realize that, but it really is. My whole life I have wanted to wait until I was married to have intercourse. You know how many times I was told that guys would never ever wait? I was told a bajillion times. You try to stick to your morals as a girl, but people put you down. If you sleep around too much, you are slut, yet you see the popular girls get all the guys and wonder; What is wrong with me? I was friends with a girl who was a lot prettier than me at the time because wow I was really a tomboy with bad acne and a weird haircut lol. She promised me that she would wait until she was married to have sex. Did that happen? Nope it did not. She went out with a guy that had a bad temper/violent and who kissed everyone. Violent? He broke a chair in a movie theatre. I told her not to, but she told me "I was jealous because she was getting guys and I wasn't." I haven't talked to her since then, but my cousin tells me she has been around the block. Well great for sticking with morals right?

Anyway, so if you sleep with people you are slut. If you don't sleep with anyone, then you are inexperienced and no guy wants that of course. It seems now and days virginity isn't appreciate, and I was taught it is valuable. When I was growing up, I was always told that men want to feel as if the girl is really theirs. Men are by nature somewhat territorial. Honestly, some men need to make up their minds. I'm fine with my morals, and I don't plan on changing for anyone. I think it is what makes me unique and happy. A man should love me for what is me. You can take it or leave it. I'm worth more than a bed. I'm one of a kind and that makes me special. I wish all girls would be like that, but it seems some give into the pressure.

I mean after all a man=self esteem, which is what we are taught from day 1 or so many girls tend to think. If you have a man, you are automatically above everyone else. You are better than the girl trying to study hard, get good grades, and make something of herself. When I was in high school, I couldn't be happy because no high school boy apparently would ever love me as some kid told me when I rejected him due to the fact that he was only asking me out for a joke. However, I still stuck with my morals because some guys are full of complete bull**** and so are some girls. You try to do the right thing for the female gender, but they just make it hard on the rest of us because of the value they put on a man's "love." You have to earn a man's love just like with a woman's. A man will love if he meets the right girl. I don't think many girls understand that and just try to do anything even objectifying themselves for a man's attention.

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I wish all girls would be like that, but it seems some give into the pressure.

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I'm not saying a woman has to be a virgin to be respectful, but they need to take care of themselves. They need to be strong and firm about their decisions. A man is not what makes a woman's worth, and it is what needs to be taught in schools because apparently it is not, which is why we are having shows like "Teen Mom" and other crap that originates from the soul idea that a woman's beauty is only determined by a man. In High School, that's all you see. You see girls fighting over boys that aren't worth their time. You see certain girls getting all the men's attentions while others are there wondering "why not me?" Even some of the "nerdy" boys, which is why I put it in quotes, want the popular girls because of this personified vision of beauty. You see it in movies, you see it on shows, you see it everywhere. Damn I wish little girls would see that. It's what I've observed through my lifetime. Whether I'm wrong or right, it is what I see with my own eyes. Like I said, you can take it or leave it.

Cal

Aug 22 2011, 09:13 AM

I would have to disagree. It's not that it's a lonely existence, but it's very difficult.

Unfortunately there is a social acceptance that open relationships are "bad". I'm probably one of the few guys here (that is out of high school) that would be willing to admit that sexual relationships can be more than "OMG! Like I think I will be with this one 4everz" or whatever people in high school say today.

They can be fun, satisfying, safe, etc. Sleeping with "every girl" isn't necessarily a horrible thing. Who are we to judge people who just want to have fun as long as they're not breaking the law? It's a double standard really. People believe that one way is the correct way because it's what they prefer.

I do have an ideal future partner in mind, but that doesn't mean I wont have fun along the way. It's not like if an attractive person calls me up and asks to have sex I would say no because, "I'm waiting for that special someone" or whatever. Sex is natural, you see it in nature all the time. Do you think every other species have one partner or abide by some weird standard someone created?

I hope I can quote this without too many people laughing..

And you said this:

I guess you know what's best for every female on the planet, don't you? Just because you want to wait for sex then by default the other 4 billion women on Earth should do the same, am I right?

And then you said this:


This may come as a surprise but your standard isn't everyone else's. I know you're saying "take it or leave it" but that doesn't justify your opinion, no matter how socially acceptable or not it is. I really hate this. You remind me of the people that see a teenager with a baby, and you by default think the girl has no self-respect and doesn't (as you said) "take care of their selves" or whatever.

Ninjajp247

Aug 22 2011, 08:25 PM

this has become more interesting. hmmm, i thought what i said might shut it down, but it opened some doors instead.

Im with tim on this one though ( not that he needs my support) Alot of people are raised on a doctrine of values and morals they share, different strokes for different folks, pookie made some good points, maybe her experience is more one sided, if she IS a virgin still then i cant even imagine the frustration shes denying having, EVERY human wants to have sex, its natural. The only time we need to be better than animals is just to decide when, otherwise you would see people in the streets.

Some people take their doctrine serious, others can take it or leave it, if pookie is feeling the sort of pressure that meakes her lash out or think like that then she has a legit reason, how she came off got a little personal, but at the same time this is a thread BASED on personal opinions, you might no like what she said, or the way she said it. But pretending NOt to understand what she means is ludicrous.

Pookie: I see you feel pretty strongly about this, unfortunately you will have people from all perspectives that feel just as strong. You like girl power, thats great, but there are plenty of women in this world, (yourself included) who have sex on the mind. Look at your sigs, youre a virgin? i didnt know, since ive been around there are a few statements you have made indicating you were living life as you see fit. You never go into raunchy detail, BUT you HAVE made assertions towards the positive about sex. I understand you are on the fence, but to blame men is reaching really far.

Just like i had to tell someone the other day, chivalry is dead, women can live how they want to know. Sex is great, cant lie. But its not an accurate assumption to believe only men care about sex, thats actually one of my main points, girls LOVE sex. being pressured into giving it up is something ones FRIENDS usually want you to do.

In the end? it just comes down to what you want. In the end? no one is gona disrobe you but you and the person you are with. All those decisions have been made by each individual here. No, women can think for themselves, and take responsibility for their own actions, you cant blame others for the decisions YOU make.

Just wanted to be clear, otherwise you have valid points, just like everyone else.