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Ask Cell; An exclusive, weekly interview with the bio-android
Topic Started: Mar 1 2011, 10:21 PM (4,617 Views)
Arkadom
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Bargle nawdle zouss

Brilliant,5 stars,an oscar,whatever,You earned it.
In these eyes of mine
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Epic for Copy_Ninja
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Gohan's Girl
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Female Saiyan

I gotta say I really laughed at most of the letters making fun of Hercule. xD but I disliked the parts you mentioned Videl... I mean Pan is adorable but Videl turns my stomach... bleh!
<3
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Gohan's Girl
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Female Saiyan

Hey are you making the next Ask Cell? I can't wait! xD
<3
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Frankie
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I can't believe I didn't notice this.

Jen , great work. Keep the laughs coming!
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Seruphim
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Cell's Angel

Hello and welcome to Ask Cell! The exclusive show where YOU, the viewer, get to send in questions for Cell, the ultimate, perfect bio-android created by Doctor Gero!

[Camera pans over a well-lit stage that's decorated with a soft plush couch and a desk. Emblazoned boldly across the background are the words “Ask Cell.” Behind the desk is Jennifer. She looks a little bleary eyed and has a box of tissues near her as well as a bottle of water. Not too far away is Hercule whose sprawled out across the couch, snoring loudly.]

Jennifer: *sighs and places her head in her hand* I should not be doing this. *she shuffles through the question cards aimlessly as she waits for the star to arrive*

Cell: *calmly walks in and surveys the studio* Well, don't everyone jump up at once or anything. *he crosses his arms and glares at Hercule's bulky figure*

Jennifer: Oh, hey Cell, you know the drill. *she waves a hand nonchalantly towards Hercule*

Cell: Honestly, you'd think I was some janitor cleaning up after him. *he rolls his eyes and simply directs a small ki beam at Hercule's hair*

Hercule: *lets out a loud snort at the sound of the beam and then his nose begins to twitch as the smell of fire grows around him. Slowly his eyes open and he blinks slowly* Is something... cookin'?

Jennifer: Not precisely..

Cell: More like burning.

Hercule: *notices the smoke around his head* ARGH! *jumps up and begins running around* I'M ON FIRE! *with another scream he runs out the door*

Jennifer: *raises an eyebrow but only shrugs* He'll be fine, I'm sure. So, let's get on with it.

Cell: *sits down on the couch, crossing his legs as he does so* Don't we have to wait for him?

Jennifer: Why?

Cell: Well.. the camera..

Jennifer: Oh.. no, it doesn't really matter. I have some cameras pinned around the room filming constantly.

Cell: ..Then why, exactly, do we need him?

Jennifer: *she shrugs once more* Different angles.

Cell: He's here to annoy me, isn't he?

Jennifer: Of course not Cell. That's what the questions are for. *she waves the questions cards at him and begins reading one before he can respond*


Dear Cell,
me again. why don't you just use the instant transmission to escape hell? goku's gone in and out repeatedly using that technique.
-lunar2


Cell: *rolls his eyes* Last time I checked Goku has not threatened to destory the world or killed people so I'm sure he's under the same security measures that I am.

Jennifer: Hm.. does you saying this mean that you recognize what you did was wrong?

Cell: On a moral standpoint, yes, my actions were wrong. But I did not care. Ultimate perfection and strength are my goals, not morals.

Jennifer: Obviously. *pulls out the next card*


Dear Cell,

Why were you crying while you were fighting Vegeta when you was in your Semi-Perfect form. Also you act like a freaking child when someone is stronger than you. If you hated Vegeta for being arrogant then why are you so arrogant?

P.S. can you poop?

From, Conan



Cell: *narrows his eyes at the question card*

Jennifer: Now, Cell, he does have a point. *blows her nose on a tissue* I mean, think about it, you were flawed at the time and, as a flawed being, you made mistakes. And you were kind of whiny

Cell: I think, Jennifer, you are under-estimating me. I was on my way to becoming the perfect being and therefore had it all planned out. Vegeta's power was, I admit, was a bit of a surprise, but I know Vegeta very well, having his genes inside me, and therefore I knew the best way to trick him. It just took a bit of acting on my part.

Jennifer: *has a disbelieving look on her face* Uh-huh, even though those same genes of Vegeta's don't also make you want to fight and prove yourself the best?

Cell: How could I prove myself the best when, as you pointed out, I was imperfect at the time and my power and not come into fruition?

Jennifer: So how does that explain later when you self-destructed?

Cell:... That was.. a.. well.. breakdown.

Jennifer: Clearly. *blows her nose again*

Cell: Reverting to my second form was quite a shock. I was not thinking clearly when I self-destructed and was only-

Jennifer: It's alright Cell. *smiles at him* I love you anyway.

Cell: *an odd, purple blush forms on his white cheeks and he turns away, coughing to the side*

Jennifer: What about that P.S.?

Cell: *sighs* Must I?

Jennifer: Of course. It is a question.

Cell: I do not consume food therefore I have no need to excrete waste. So, no, I do not poo, as you so eloquently put it, Conan.

Jennifer: I thought humans were your... well.. food, technically?

Cell: They are bio-extract. I used humans, in my lesser forms, to boost my power. Since humans have such low power, though, I had to absorb vast amounts to gain any significant boost.

Jennifer: Alright, well, next question.


Dear Cell,

If, instead of absorbing the androids, you had absorbed Kid Buu, wouldn't you have been more powerful, and thus, closer to perfection?

Also, absorbing people to achieve said perfection? A little gross. And you might have more luck if you tell people that "Resistance is Futile."

From: a guy who wishes you'd killed Yamcha instead of Goku.



Cell: Kid Buu? I doubt I could have absorbed him given his molecular make up. I am part machine, after all, and Dr. Gero never put in parameters in which to absorb such a being. And besides that, Android 17 and 18 were meant to complete my form, not Buu. And tell me, anonymous sender, even if I could have absorbed him, how was I suppose to when he appeared after me?

Jennifer: And I believe we covered the second question a little bit ago. You only used humans to boost your power, right?

Cell: Yes. Even though a human's power is misicule, in large amounts it gave me the small boost I needed to be on level with the androids.

Hercule: *walks back into the studio patting down his hair that now had a miniature size hole through it* Look what you've done to my image!! *he rounds on Cell* This face is my money maker! What are my adoring fans going to think when they see this!? *he continues ranting*

Jennifer: How much power do you think you'd get from him?

Cell: *scoffs* Not enough to justify knowing he had been absorbed into my body.

Jennifer: *laughs but it's soon turned into a cough*

Cell: *raises a brow* Are you alright?

Jennifer: Ah yeah *coughs a bit more* Just a little sick.

Cell: You humans, so weak. *he turns away, but his eyes flicker back to Jennifer once in awhile*

Hercule: Hey! Are you listening?? You ruined the champ's image!

Cell: Will you be quiet? You had no image in te first place! You are a- *the two continue yelling*

Jennifer: And... we cut to commerical now *uses another tissue*


[The screen goes black to be replaced by a sleek logo with the name Aperture Laboratories in slanted letters. A cool, female voice begins speaking.]

Voice: Welcome to Aperture Laboraties. Here we have fancy teamwork and build awesome policies. And we eat cake, not corn. Don't let the corn lie to you. Aperture Laboratories. We do what we must for the good of all.

[The logo slowly fades away and the screen returns to the studio. Cell has resumed his seat and Hercule is behind the camera once more.]



Jennifer: So, moving onwards.


Do mind telling us your true feelings about Z warriors. None of that fake hate you use to hide the truth.

Sincerely, Sasuke



Jennifer: *laughs slightly* Yes, do tell us how you truly feel about the others.

Hercule: I'll tell ya! He's envious of me, the champ, which is why we've never fought!

Jennifer: I suppose the time in at the Cell Games didn't count?

Hercule: Of course not! Cell can't fight me without resorting to dumb magic tricks!

Cell: Indeed. I have no idea what this question is about. My 'true feelings'? Goku is a worthy opponent who provided a worthy fight. Piccolo and Vegeta provided valuable DNA for my creation. Trunks provided me with a path to androids by letting me... borrow... his time machine. The others were insignificant.

Jennifer: And Gohan?

Cell: He certainly.. lived up to his father's name, I will say that much.

Jennifer: Wow, that's pretty close to a compliment there.

Cell: Of course, seeing how little he's progressed these past years I am forced to retract that statement and simply say he's a waste of a good genes.

Jennifer: haha, of course. And now, the last letter.

Cell: Finally..


Dear Cell,
What was it like to get owned by Gohan?
(just kidding!) :P

What would you say your power level is? And how would you describe that power?

Why do you think your still perfect even though you got beaten?

Curiously,

Gohan's Girl



Hercule: You mean what it was like to get owned by the champ! I defeated Cell! *laughs loudly*

Cell: Disregarding the first part of your obviously joking question, I would put my power level, at it's highest, around the *does some calculations with his hand* mmm 300,000,000,000 mark. And to have this much power coursing through you is.. well, I know of no way for humans to comprehend such power. I assume it's like Jennifer thinking of me or Hercule's thousands of idiot fans cheering him on.

Jennifer: *blushing a little* You think it's like..

Hercule: Don't be jealous of the champ's fans Cell! Although it's true my fans do, at times, give me the boost I need. I do it all for them. *sniffs sadly*

Cell: *rolls his eyes and Hercule's behavior* And for your last question, of course I am still perfect. As you may well know *he glances at her name* or may not know, depending on the lies you've been fed, the fight between Gohan and I was not finished properly. I was distracted from the task at hand and would have won had I not been so rudely interrupted.

Hercule: Yeah right Cell! I would have taken you down!

Cell: As you so clearly did in our match.

Jennifer: *cuts off Hercule before he can retort* And that's all the time we have for today! In our next segment, the being who once threatened the entire universe, Frieza, will be visiting us. Feel free to send in your questions here to Frieza, I already have a few actually, or Cell or Hercule or, heck, even me! We hope you enjoyed this and we'll see you next time! Bye!

[The camera pans backwards as Hercule continues to yell, growing red in the face as he does so, and Cell continues lazily relaxing on the couch. Jennifer is watching the two with a look of exasperation, although if it's from her sickness or just the two of them bickering, she's not quite sure.]
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Ascended Vegeta Aijin
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The Ascended one

Quote:
 
Cell do you like Mudkipz?

Hm...Cell does strike me as a Mudkip lovin' guy.
Edited by Ascended Vegeta Aijin, Sep 25 2011, 05:35 PM.
Okay, since I changed my name avatar and entire DBZF image, a lot of you don't know who i am. Well use your noggin. Who Loves Vegeta? Who thinks Cell and James Bond are hot but Vegeta is her main man? Who has a life sized cardboard cutout of Vegeta? Still don't know?
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ImmaDbzSpanish
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Dear Cell,
If you could absorb the Z-fighters, would you?
And why did you call #18 your little peach *giggles*
-ImmaDbzSpanish
Mr Popo kicks Butt[/color]
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