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| Diamond Love | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 8 2010, 08:07 PM (464 Views) | |
| + Rebel X | Oct 8 2010, 08:07 PM Post #1 |
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Please excuse my comparative confusion A life of mine is sighted by my delusion In my early life my grandma told me, Grandma said Love is used so much in the world Enlighten by this, I thought how meanings hath changed My Love shall be absolute and pure but not diluted And it shall only be broken and scarred but not bent nor lessened Realizing how others Love were, like ice, the sad and fading kind I had a Love for the one special for me, different, straight and most honest Even Love as ice is still Love in its purity and boundless in every which way Cool it must stay to stay stable However when the heat rages so does the Love, the Ice Love After a while it might cool in ice or melt away, but my Diamond Love will subsist Few have tried piercing the Diamond Love I hold so dear; others have tried to break it too Frustration and Fire is common triumph over Ice Love but ill-fated for those against Diamond Love Elated that one special Love who will be thee and mine of the Diamond Love Engulfed is Love that will never leave or lame, keep you warm at night and all eternity sane Please comment and critique if you wish. I so look forward to them |
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| Rockman | Oct 9 2010, 05:14 AM Post #2 |
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hoighty-toighty
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The images this makes in my head when I read it are amazing. |
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| master412160 | Oct 9 2010, 04:31 PM Post #3 |
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Its one of the best poems I ever read, I sadly will never be so good as you. |
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My C&C Fan site: C&C fan Forums worth to check out commander! | |
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| + Rebel X | Oct 12 2010, 04:51 PM Post #4 |
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Hehe wow thanks guys. I was worried about this one. I don't often write using the word Love. I'm glad I got your imagination going Kot, I'd like to know what images you saw. Thank you. Master41...I don't think we've met yet but I really appreciate the comment. You really think it's that good? I haven't written in a long time. Please feel free to comment more guy. I don't mind reading bad reviews but yes I'll admit I do like the good ones
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| + Pelador | Oct 12 2010, 05:05 PM Post #5 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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Please don't take my cristicism too personally, but I didn't like it Just didn't do it for me. Sorry. Rudyard Kipling, now there's a poet.
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| + Rebel X | Oct 12 2010, 05:16 PM Post #6 |
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It's alright, I don't mind the critiques but could you tell me more though. Like what exactly you didn't like or what didn't go well or maybe overall the whole thing just wasn't for you? Rudyard Kipling, I've read some of his stuff but truthfully he's kind of annoying in my opinion lol. No offense but his poems are like a story being told by your grandpa you have to sit and listen to unlike the types of stories that you actually wanna hear. I liked his poem "If" I've written several other poems on here btw I could give you a link to them if you wanted so you can comment on them
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| + Pelador | Oct 12 2010, 05:43 PM Post #7 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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It's difficult to describe why I don't appreciate your poem. When I read a poem, I expect to either be moved, or laugh or feel a particular way. But with yours I felt nothing and had to re read it several times over to try and figure out what you were talking about. Maybe it's too deep or over complicated? But at least you can express how you feel with more than two syllables. |
![]() http://www.youtube.com/user/jonjits | |
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| + Rebel X | Oct 12 2010, 06:31 PM Post #8 |
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Here are link to just a few others: http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8146804/1/?x=35 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8163195/1/?x=35 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/28834/1/?x=35 I gotcha, so nothing stood out and I couldn't make it simple enough for it to be understood. |
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| Strawberry | Oct 12 2010, 06:41 PM Post #9 |
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Chiaroscuro ♥
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I loved it. Diamond Love is a good term to describe the analogies you made in your poem. Fantastic job, Rebel. |
![]() ![]() ♪ ♥ ♫ Across The Universe
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| + Pelador | Oct 12 2010, 07:01 PM Post #10 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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Yeh that's true. I'm probably just simple
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| + Rebel X | Oct 12 2010, 07:41 PM Post #11 |
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Thanks Kris, always look forward to your comments. Thank you for the encouragement. I think Pelador is right though. I could've made it slow better chronologically or have it flow accordingly. I dunno why I just didn't feel this one needed it as much. |
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Just didn't do it for me. Sorry. Rudyard Kipling, now there's a poet.









4:52 PM Jul 13