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Marrage
Topic Started: Sep 16 2010, 12:37 PM (443 Views)
Nusu Sep 16 2010, 12:37 PM Post #1
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Piccolo Daimao > Piccolo Jr.

My Girl Friend is lately talking about marrying, I donīt know if she is just trying to make our relationship bigger, Or if she is trying to really... go for it, Actually we are pretty much in a age... where i would say.. "It isnīt impossible" Iīm 19 and she is nearly 20, However i donīt know if iīm really ready for it, But i also feel like "Heck, It would be a big step into adulthood".

First of all, I need to say im no family man, I donīt really think that iīm ready to take care of a child, That dosenīt mean i hate kids but i donīt really think i can take care of them. Iīm not that kind of guy who goes to discoīs and hears hard styling music, Iīm the guy who throws nearly every friday a party with Rock/Metal music, So iīm not assure that my kid could grow up in this kind of life style.

I asked some of my friends some say i should, Her Best Friend told me "You should finally grow up" Lol.

So since iīm kinda between fronts, I better get a second guess, Are you in that kind of situation or have you been through this already.
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+ Pelador Sep 16 2010, 12:45 PM Post #2
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 How long have you been living together? This is a key factor is whether you should get married. You need to learn whether you can stand being around each other for long periods of time otherwise the marriage will be a quick one. How committed are you is another factor you need to consider. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with her? Would you take a bullet for her? Would you stand by her if she did something really terrible? Also, deep down, do you really want to get married or just please her?


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Strawberry Sep 16 2010, 12:47 PM Post #3
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 Well, my advice to you is that you make sure you understand if she's really serious about marrying you at this age or if that's just something she says just so both of you can daydream about that special day.

I can see from your description that you probably wouldn't be ready for that step, and I don't blame you. I could never ever imagine myself getting married at 19. Heck, I couldn't imagine getting married before my thirties.

Enjoy life and youth as much as you can. You don't need to get married to be happy together and take your relationship to the next level. I think travelling and meeting new places together does the same for any relationship. It makes you get closer and share incredible moments with each other that will result in great memories when you do decide to settle down a little.

Soooo... hm yeah, talk to her about it. Take her to a special weekend with something fun/romantic planned. :p

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Nusu Sep 16 2010, 04:40 PM Post #4
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Piccolo Daimao > Piccolo Jr.

We are together since one year now, Well, Yeah, I never thought about marrying her, I love her but... duīh, I think getting into marriage now, Is a bad idea, Deep down i would say that... i would do it to make her happy.., But not for me no, I think i need to get a little bit more mature to go such a big step in life, But how i know her she is already planning the marriage, But i will see how it evolves.
Edited by Nusu, Sep 16 2010, 04:40 PM.
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* -Zero- Sep 16 2010, 05:09 PM Post #5
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If you don't want it don't. If you are only going to do it to make her happy it will most certainly end in divorce. You both need to really want to get married, you both need to be happy about it, just not one said. Majority of marriages at the age of 19 end in divorces anyways, people are still changing, they are rushing to get married. Like I said DO NOT marry her just to make her happy and you not really want to. Not marrying her does not mean you don't love her, it just means the time isn't right yet to tie the knot.

I'm 19, turning 20 in November, I honestly don't want to get married until I'm at least financially stable. Marriage is a big step and it can wait, you don't want to rush into something like that.

And if someone says marriage is what makes you an adult or a man that's just plain dumb.

A big mistake people make in relationships is that they try to make the other person happy at the cost of their own happiness at times, that's a big no no,both sides need to be happy to maintain a good relationship.

You're both still really young, there is still time to come to worry about that later on.

Oh just a side note marriage doesn't mean you have to have kids lol

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Nusu Sep 16 2010, 05:23 PM Post #6
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Piccolo Daimao > Piccolo Jr.

Nice advice Zero. Thanks you all for the nice advices, I will NOT marry her with talked about it, And she was just... "Thinking".. about marrying somebody, But even she admitīd that she is still to young to marry.
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+ Ryebrid Sep 17 2010, 07:54 AM Post #7
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 Yeah its a common misconception that everyone thinks marriage means kids.
Marriage is brought into a relation by many reasons. One that you feel that you have found the one and you really do believe that 100%.
I wouldnt marry at 19, hell no man, thats way to young.
Go travel and explore the world and enjoy life a lot.

Maybe try mid 20's or late 20's, whenever it feels right for the both of ya

I know you have already come to a conclusion but i just wanted to add my two cents :)
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+ Pelador Sep 17 2010, 11:17 AM Post #8
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 My parents married at around that age and they're still together for some reason. But yeah, I imagine most people are generally too immature to make it work at that age. It's not like marriage has any many benefits these days anyway.


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Rockman Sep 17 2010, 02:26 PM Post #9
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 I'm not a good example, but examples may help sometimes.

I'm a bit older than yourself, and my girlfriend is 2 years younger than me. I don't like to display my age. We have been living together for the last 3 years, and we don't plan on getting married anytime soon. Probably after 2 years from now. But we are going on year 8 of being with each other. We have longevity behind us and no one can say that we shouldn't marry.
Living with someone can completely change how you feel about that person. The negatives come out in people as their habits are on display.
What you don't want to do, is get married to this person and think you are doing a good thing, and then a few years later turn around and divorce them. That's not helpful or advised in any form. I suggest waiting until you are in your lower to mid 20's before you decide to get married. Also think about the costs of getting married. You want to save up for a ring that is expensive, otherwise its meaningless.
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+ Ryebrid Sep 18 2010, 02:55 AM Post #10
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 Not necessarily meaningless, depending on the girl.
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