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| A Hunter's Soul | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 1 2010, 09:48 PM (364 Views) | |
| * Mitas | May 1 2010, 09:48 PM Post #1 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I've been wanting to write a story on here for a while but keep iffing and amming about it. I decided it'd be best if I make a first post, even if it's a short one, because that gives me something to work with. So tell me what you think of the introductary chapter (even though it's pretty short and uneventful) and the next one should be up in a few days. A Hunter's Soul Chapter One Dereck Broadstone sat with his eyes closed listening to the rain hitting the window of the outpost at the town gates. On nights like this it was hard for him to stay awake, but if he was found sleeping on his watch again then he'd surely be sacked. He had never seen the need for somebody to be on watch at all times. Visitors were few and far between and even then they were mostly deliveries for the local businesses. He rose from his chair and started stretching his muscles to avoid the aches that came with sitting in the same position for long stretches of time. He looked out of the window as he stretched his legs. The rain had been falling constantly for the past three days, which was nothing new at this time of year. He preferred the sound of the rainfall to the silence of the night, it took away the lonely feeling that came when you spent so much time with nobody to talk to. If you listened close enough the raindrops created their own tune and he would sometimes try and put words to them with little success. He had never been a quick thinker. Outside a moving figure in the distance caught his attention. As it came closer he saw that it was a person. He grabbed his cloak off of the rack and went out to meet the traveller. He waited until the figure was close enough and shouted out to him. "Hello there". "Hi". "Name and your business with Redfall" Derek stated. "My name's Rory Alexander and I'm visiting family" came the reply, barely audible over the wind and rain. "Follow me inside and I'll let you in" said Derek. Derek closed the door behind them and took off his cloak. "Horrible weather to be travelling in" he said to Rory. "I've seen worse" said Rory. Rory removed his hood and Derek got his first full look at the midnight traveller. The first thing you noticed was his striking blue eyes that were further emphasised by a scar that ran from the corner of his eye to the middle of his cheek. His hair was blonde and unkempt and he had a slight stubble that pointed towards a fairly long journey. He appeared to be in his late twenties and despite a young face it radiated maturity. His attire was a simple white top and brown trousers with black boots. "So do I have to fill out any paperwork?" asked Rory. "Nah, just sign this book before you head in. Who are you visiting?" Derek asked Rory filled in his name. "My Aunt and Uncle. They own a Bar here" answered Rory handing back the book. "Oh you're Ralph and Nina's nephew. They're good people, they run a nice establishment over at the Fox" said Derek smiling. "Thanks, I guess. Which way is it into the city?" "This way" said Derek reaching for his cloak again. Rory put his hood back up an they headed back outside. Derek pulled out a large brass key and opened up the village gates. "Have you been to Redfall before?" Derek asked. "No, but my Aunt and Uncle gave me directions to the Fox. I just head to the West side of the village yeah?" "No it's in the East, just past the marketplace." "Oh yeah that's right, I've always had a terrible memory. Well thanks for your help, maybe I'll see you around" said Rory. "Most likely. I'm in the Fox every for a drink before my shift, I'll buy you a drink if you're there" said Derek extending his hand. "I'll hold you to it" said Rory grasping the hand and smiling. Derek watched Rory head off to the Fox and went back into the outpost. He sat and closed his eyes again, listening to the tunes of the rain. Edited by Mitas, May 1 2010, 10:17 PM.
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| * -Zero- | May 2 2010, 03:05 AM Post #2 |
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Black Knight
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That was an interesting first chapter really short, but raises some questions as to his who is Rory, what kind of village is there, whats going to happen etc.. Pretty cool. I wish I could add more but it was a short chapter haha |
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Thanks to Kid Buu for the sig! The story where DBZF Members are the characters! DBZF:The Unknown Conspiracy POSITIVE ZERO PRODUCTIONS ZeroGuild Forum! | |
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| * Mitas | May 2 2010, 09:37 AM Post #3 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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Yeah I know it was pretty short :P The next one will be much longer, this one's just to get it started. |
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| * Mitas | May 5 2010, 11:11 AM Post #4 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I've had another story idea :P So I'm closing this topic.
Edited by Mitas, May 5 2010, 11:11 AM.
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| * Mitas | May 5 2010, 11:12 AM Post #5 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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