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Wrapped In Beauty
Topic Started: Jan 26 2010, 05:25 PM (272 Views)
+ Byakko
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it

So during school today I had a good idea and didn't want to let it go (As I have been with a lot recently), so I wrote it in any spare time I could find. It's heavily influenced from Lord Byron's "She Walks In Beauty", so there are probably a few similarities. But other than that, enjoy :)

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Wrapped in beauty
with hair spun from gold
Dancing down her face
Past her lips, her eyes, her nose

Wrapped in beauty
with eyes like the moon
And the hours that can be lost
Just gazing at the moon

Wrapped in beauty
a smile, intoxicating,
that reaches to my soul
Where our deepest secrets lie

Wrapped in beauty
as if time cannot touch her
image, burned into my memory
Illuminated like a flame

Wrapped in beauty
like the darkest rose
with all that is wrong and right
about love, surrounds her like night

Wrapped in beauty,
Holding the affection of many
Pick one! Pick one!
And let this dream end
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Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'"
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Pookie
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Pookie Powa!

I like it. It flows nicely, and it gives me a good picture of the person you are talking about. You have a talent of wording your poems with heavy description. Great work! I'd like to see more from you.
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Tim
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I agree with Ana :) It's full of emotion and very well written.

I like the overall style of it though the endings of some stanza's don't quite fit as well as I think they could (1st and 2nd to last) after thinking it through it does, to an extent, work with it.

Great job though :) Wish I could just express my thoughts and feeling in such a beautiful and constructive way Mike. I really do you like your work :)

~Tim
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+ Byakko
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it

Thanks guys, I appreciate the comments :D

You're right, Tim, but I just wanted to see if they worked
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