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| Wrapped In Beauty | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 26 2010, 05:25 PM (272 Views) | |
| + Byakko | Jan 26 2010, 05:25 PM Post #1 |
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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So during school today I had a good idea and didn't want to let it go (As I have been with a lot recently), so I wrote it in any spare time I could find. It's heavily influenced from Lord Byron's "She Walks In Beauty", so there are probably a few similarities. But other than that, enjoy ![]() --- Wrapped in beauty with hair spun from gold Dancing down her face Past her lips, her eyes, her nose Wrapped in beauty with eyes like the moon And the hours that can be lost Just gazing at the moon Wrapped in beauty a smile, intoxicating, that reaches to my soul Where our deepest secrets lie Wrapped in beauty as if time cannot touch her image, burned into my memory Illuminated like a flame Wrapped in beauty like the darkest rose with all that is wrong and right about love, surrounds her like night Wrapped in beauty, Holding the affection of many Pick one! Pick one! And let this dream end |
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt ![]() Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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| Pookie | Jan 27 2010, 01:06 AM Post #2 |
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Pookie Powa!
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I like it. It flows nicely, and it gives me a good picture of the person you are talking about. You have a talent of wording your poems with heavy description. Great work! I'd like to see more from you. |
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| Tim | Jan 27 2010, 11:14 AM Post #3 |
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Forum Royalty
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I agree with Ana It's full of emotion and very well written. I like the overall style of it though the endings of some stanza's don't quite fit as well as I think they could (1st and 2nd to last) after thinking it through it does, to an extent, work with it. Great job though Wish I could just express my thoughts and feeling in such a beautiful and constructive way Mike. I really do you like your work ![]() ~Tim |
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| + Byakko | Jan 27 2010, 05:02 PM Post #4 |
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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Thanks guys, I appreciate the comments ![]() You're right, Tim, but I just wanted to see if they worked |
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt ![]() Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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