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Failure To Act (She Knows)
Topic Started: Dec 11 2009, 07:00 PM (432 Views)
+ Byakko
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it

Hm...yeah...

---

The monkey on my back,
weighing me down,
keeping me down,
breaking my back

World on my shoulders,
nothing's changing,
I'm not changing,
Just getting older

My failure to act
A failure to see,
Constant regret,
Forms inside of me

Breaking barriers,
Breaking down,
We fly ever free
when trapped in a cage

Dream of courage
Of glory, hope and honour
Of the time when heroes are born.
Are you a condoner?

A failure to act,
beyond my mind,
beyond the veil,
a shadowed kind

Smash the system,
Look past the wall
to see the leaves fall,
you're a victim

To see where the truth lies
Past any shattered lies
and where the ghosts of our pasts die
Haunting our nightmared lives,

Beyond any oath
Beyond any measure
A moment of relief,
Takes my greatest treasure

You can't change the past,
do we leave it all behind,
throwing caution to the wind
Such things never last

The Monkey is still there
Hanging on, for all that's worth
Breaking my back
Almost too much to bear

Running through the forest
Of a clouded mind
lost in the wilderness
No respite, no rest

A failure to act
A failure to move
An oppertunity lost
- my chance to prove?

No news is good news,
Or so they say,
there will be another time,
Tomorrow is another day

She knows, she knows
Of every tale of old
and where the wind will blow,
It's how the story goes

She knows, she knows
Of how the world works
And what the future shows,
It's how the story goes

She knows, she knows
of the thoughts inside my head
of the distant dreams there lie
It's how the story goes

She knows, she knows
The way I feel
I cannot yield
It's how the Story goes,
She knows, she knows.

Edited by Byakko, Dec 13 2009, 04:23 PM.
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Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'"
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Pookie Powa!

A very in depth poem. It gave me a few ideas of what you were thinking about when you wrote it. I hope it isn't about not being able to ask that girl out. You'll do fine. If not, then this poem is really good. The only problem I see is that you spelled victim wrong in one of the lines. However, that's about it with the problems. Good work.
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+ Byakko
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it

Thanks Ana. It's pretty much all the things that have been on my mind lately, written down in some...heap. Sorted the spelling mistake ^_^
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Nice job Mike. Always good stuff :D
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* Mitas
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption

Yeah the theme is obvious :P Inspired by what's been going on with you lately.

Good job though, not much that I can see wrong with it, a solid, deep poem that has real feeling to it.
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time."
"Next time?"
"Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is."
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Mike
Dec 11 2009, 09:31 PM
Thanks Ana. It's pretty much all the things that have been on my mind lately, written down in some...heap. Sorted the spelling mistake ^_^
You're welcome Mike. Do you use writing to help sooth your feelings? Maybe if you wrote her a poem she'd like that.
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+ Byakko
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it

Mainly as an outlet. If I didn't have music, I'd be insane long ago, lol.

I dunno, it'd probably be seen as a weirder thing than not :p
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Strawberry
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Chiaroscuro ♥

This was epic. I loved every line, every emotion.

That's what's so powerful about art, you can materialize your feelings into it and share them with other people. No matter who they are or where they come from, they will feel something while reading this, and that's just beautiful.

Trust me when I say that this is one of your best poems.
Everything will be alright, Mike.

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♪ ♥ ♫
Across The Universe
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Tim
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Wow, that's really good :) Nice work :)

I like how it draws emotion out, anything that does that is successful in my book :) Particularly if it's been done well, and it has, I feel as if I can relate it :)

~Tim
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+ Byakko
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it

Thanks to you both :D

I think it's a little too long...maybe I should cut it in half and put it as two different songs...
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