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| Failure To Act (She Knows) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 11 2009, 07:00 PM (432 Views) | |
| + Byakko | Dec 11 2009, 07:00 PM Post #1 |
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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Hm...yeah... --- The monkey on my back, weighing me down, keeping me down, breaking my back World on my shoulders, nothing's changing, I'm not changing, Just getting older My failure to act A failure to see, Constant regret, Forms inside of me Breaking barriers, Breaking down, We fly ever free when trapped in a cage Dream of courage Of glory, hope and honour Of the time when heroes are born. Are you a condoner? A failure to act, beyond my mind, beyond the veil, a shadowed kind Smash the system, Look past the wall to see the leaves fall, you're a victim To see where the truth lies Past any shattered lies and where the ghosts of our pasts die Haunting our nightmared lives, Beyond any oath Beyond any measure A moment of relief, Takes my greatest treasure You can't change the past, do we leave it all behind, throwing caution to the wind Such things never last The Monkey is still there Hanging on, for all that's worth Breaking my back Almost too much to bear Running through the forest Of a clouded mind lost in the wilderness No respite, no rest A failure to act A failure to move An oppertunity lost - my chance to prove? No news is good news, Or so they say, there will be another time, Tomorrow is another day She knows, she knows Of every tale of old and where the wind will blow, It's how the story goes She knows, she knows Of how the world works And what the future shows, It's how the story goes She knows, she knows of the thoughts inside my head of the distant dreams there lie It's how the story goes She knows, she knows The way I feel I cannot yield It's how the Story goes, She knows, she knows. Edited by Byakko, Dec 13 2009, 04:23 PM.
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt ![]() Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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| Pookie | Dec 11 2009, 09:04 PM Post #2 |
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Pookie Powa!
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A very in depth poem. It gave me a few ideas of what you were thinking about when you wrote it. I hope it isn't about not being able to ask that girl out. You'll do fine. If not, then this poem is really good. The only problem I see is that you spelled victim wrong in one of the lines. However, that's about it with the problems. Good work. |
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| + Byakko | Dec 11 2009, 09:31 PM Post #3 |
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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Thanks Ana. It's pretty much all the things that have been on my mind lately, written down in some...heap. Sorted the spelling mistake
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt ![]() Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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Dec 11 2009, 09:39 PM Post #4 |
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Nice job Mike. Always good stuff
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| * Mitas | Dec 11 2009, 11:06 PM Post #5 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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Yeah the theme is obvious :P Inspired by what's been going on with you lately. Good job though, not much that I can see wrong with it, a solid, deep poem that has real feeling to it. |
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| Pookie | Dec 12 2009, 12:51 AM Post #6 |
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Pookie Powa!
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You're welcome Mike. Do you use writing to help sooth your feelings? Maybe if you wrote her a poem she'd like that. |
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| + Byakko | Dec 12 2009, 01:07 AM Post #7 |
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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Mainly as an outlet. If I didn't have music, I'd be insane long ago, lol. I dunno, it'd probably be seen as a weirder thing than not
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt ![]() Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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| Strawberry | Dec 13 2009, 01:10 AM Post #8 |
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Chiaroscuro ♥
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This was epic. I loved every line, every emotion. That's what's so powerful about art, you can materialize your feelings into it and share them with other people. No matter who they are or where they come from, they will feel something while reading this, and that's just beautiful. Trust me when I say that this is one of your best poems. Everything will be alright, Mike. |
![]() ![]() ♪ ♥ ♫ Across The Universe
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| Tim | Dec 14 2009, 04:27 AM Post #9 |
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Forum Royalty
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Wow, that's really good Nice work ![]() I like how it draws emotion out, anything that does that is successful in my book Particularly if it's been done well, and it has, I feel as if I can relate it ![]() ~Tim |
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| + Byakko | Dec 14 2009, 07:37 AM Post #10 |
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I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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Thanks to you both ![]() I think it's a little too long...maybe I should cut it in half and put it as two different songs... |
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt ![]() Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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4:42 PM Jul 13
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Nice work 



4:42 PM Jul 13