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- Is it okay to spy on your partner?
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| Is it okay to spy on your partner? | |
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| Topic Started: Sep 23 2009, 12:29 PM (189 Views) | |
| Mitas | Sep 23 2009, 12:29 PM Post #1 |
Subject To Change
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After seeing an article about whether or not it is okay to spy on your partner by looking at their Facebook, Mobile and E-Mails I thought I'd see what everyone here thought? The poll on the website (MSN) said that 75% of people thought it was okay. That is an appaling amount. I think it is wrong to look at your partners phone, e-mails etc. It's an invasion of privacy and shows that there is no trust in the relationship and therefore it is not strong and most likely won't last. How many times do people actually find out that their partner has been cheating? (Obviously that can't beanswered, but I can only assume not much). |
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| Kotetsu | Sep 23 2009, 01:45 PM Post #2 |
SOUPER SAYIN THREE
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After you have committed such an act, it's nice knowing that everything in your life is ok when you don't find anything. |
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| Mc Esse | Sep 23 2009, 08:52 PM Post #3 |
<3
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one of my girlfriends' always used to do that to me, and she would erase all my female contacts! |
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http://dbzf.co.uk/blog/main/4022364/ [-I grew up on the crime side} {-The New York Times side} [-No question I would speed, for cracks and weed] {-The combination made my eyes bleed} [-Though I don't know why I chose to smoke sess] [-I guess that's the time when I'm not depressed} | |
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| Mitas | Sep 23 2009, 09:10 PM Post #4 |
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Subject To Change
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Kotetsu, yes it's nice for the person doing it to find nothing and be happy, but what about their partner? The trust in the relationship was broken only to show that there was no reason to break it. Esse, that is extreme :P I don't think I could handle that lol |
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I'm no longer sig-less thanks to AngelicHottieDS! "To appreciate the very good, you must experience the very bad." "You should be ok just being you, working your job and being happy." - Lupe Fiasco. | |
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| Viddy Veechi | Sep 23 2009, 09:39 PM Post #5 |
If I Could, Would You?
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I think it depends on where the line between Curiosity and Suspicion is. If you know your partner is the jealous type, i.e. They'd delete all the female/male contacts from your phone/e-mail, then I think that's a major violation of your privacy and your right to speak to said people. However, if your partner is just innocently curious then I have no problem with it, although I'd still acknowledge it as an invasion of privacy. Like Mitas said, it's an appauling figure, but still, people will do a lot to have peace of mind, if it means getting into a spot of trouble for looking through something. People who delete other peoples stuff however, thats just messed up. If any trust was broken, then it's only fair that the person responsible explain their motives for doing it before taking action. |
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| + green_480 | Sep 24 2009, 01:40 AM Post #6 |
you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain
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I think "spying" is ok to a degree. Looking at whats a your partner's cell phone is nothing special to me. If i'm not cheating on a girl what do i have to hide? Even now i let friends just pick up my phone and look at stuff. Looking at their facebook? Do you mean like if they logged on to a computer and you go on and look at their messages(inbox)? If you mean just looking at their page then no. If your dating and both of you have facebook naturally you would be friends. Friends have access to each others "walls" (if allowed) anything on the wall isn't private. |
 Men, on the other hand, tend to do the job properly when they crash, and as a result cost their insurance companies a lot more money. Your right I'm a murderer; i kill people with a smile on my face, my parents say "what a disgrace" "get outta my face"...yet I walk away...with a smile on my face "If tall guys have this mystical advantage in jumping, then why to the tallest players in the NBA have the lowest verticals? Yao Ming can't jump over an egg roll" -it's so funny i had to put it in my sig | |
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| Kotetsu | Sep 24 2009, 01:54 AM Post #7 |
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SOUPER SAYIN THREE
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Likewise, if a person is hiding a lot from you, then obviously there's reason for suspicion. If I was to ask her about something and she goes, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS." Obviously she has something she wants to keep from me. In an open relationship, everything is laid out on the table for examination. Spouses do not keep things from each other. And if you're not working towards marriage/ mutual partnership in your relationship, then what are you doing in a relationship in the first place? These types of things are not games. You either care about the other person enough not to lie and keep secrets from them or you don't have a relationship at all. It's pretty simple. You shouldn't have to spy on your partner. And if you are, then you should never find something in the first place. Sometimes, people find out things about their partner on accident. Such as Man A goes to get coffee at the shop down the street and finds woman A with Man B. Obviously there's a problem here. His curiosity is sparked and so is his jealousy, forcing him to find out more about Man B. It's not that Man A doesn't necessarily trust Woman A, it's that he doesn't trust Man B. There's a huge difference, and that calls for snooping. |
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| + Byakko | Sep 24 2009, 09:42 PM Post #8 |
Operor Vel Non Operor
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I think it's downright wrong. I have nothing to hide, yet the idea of people (Let alone my girlfriend) rummaging (Oh yeah, I love that word) through my phone or computer annoys the hell outta me. It's hard to explain. It's like...it just feels wrong. I don't like going on other people's computers for the same reason. It's just a matter of privacy. I think we all need our own space, even from the ones we love. |
"Freedom Lies In Being Bold"
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| Super Goku | Sep 24 2009, 10:51 PM Post #9 |
Vizard Jinchurikii
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If you have nothing to hide, and its an open, honest relationship, then it shouldnt matter. But obviously if one of the partners is hiding something, its best to find out about it. But spying isnt the first measure you should take to finding something out about your spouse. for example, you could ask them politely, playfully badger them if you want to, but if they still dont tell you, well obviously its a bigger deal then it needs to be and spying is okay.... i guess as long as you find something out thats really necessary and important..then yeah, spy. |
 BURNING HELL FTW | |
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| * NeciFiX | Sep 24 2009, 11:16 PM Post #10 |
Don't Read This.
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You know, usually people are only suspicious of such things if they themselves have done it. There isn't trust in a relationship if you have to snoop through someones' contacts and personal belongings. If you have a strong feeling she/he is cheating on you, you've noticed some of the signs, then, maybe it's worth checking, in my opinion, but, nothing like an invasion of privacy. |
 "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer "Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever." - Mohandas K. Gandhi "If you unclench your fist, we will reach out our hand." - Barack Obama Click here to read my experience with the Barack Obama Campaign | |
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| Kotetsu | Sep 25 2009, 12:11 AM Post #11 |
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SOUPER SAYIN THREE
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To be honest, I have spied on my girlfriend once or twice in the past. I have rummaged through her pc just out of curiosity. I'm sort of into finding those dirty little secrets about people. Such as logged into her myspace when she wasn't looking. But that's about it. Maybe there was an alternate motive behind going on her Myspace? Maybe I wanted to view one of her hot friends pics? Who cares... Except maybe her. Point is we are in an open relationship, and if I asked her to view her myspace page she'd more than likely say yes while she was sitting next to me, likewise she has full access to my pc because all you have to do is open the lid and it's on. The only password she doesn't have access to on this computer is my bank accounts. Besides the fact we share a checking account, our lives are pretty much secret free. And I have to say, once you've been cheated on by someone, it's so much harder to get over the idea that your next could be cheating on you as well. Especially when you didn't see it coming and all the contact she had with that person was at work. No amount of spying could have prepared me for that. |
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| + green_480 | Sep 25 2009, 10:40 PM Post #12 |
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you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain
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you share a checking account...wow. I haven't met a woman i trust enough to share a back account with. Also whenever i talk about money with a girl things usually go bad, they go on the defense by getting aggressive. |
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Men, on the other hand, tend to do the job properly when they crash, and as a result cost their insurance companies a lot more money. Your right I'm a murderer; i kill people with a smile on my face, my parents say "what a disgrace" "get outta my face"...yet I walk away...with a smile on my face "If tall guys have this mystical advantage in jumping, then why to the tallest players in the NBA have the lowest verticals? Yao Ming can't jump over an egg roll" -it's so funny i had to put it in my sig | |
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| + nomnomliekdis | Sep 25 2009, 11:50 PM Post #13 |
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He should really rephrase that. We have a joint checking account to pay for bills with. He doesn't have access to my money as I don't to his. Anyway, I don't think you should spy on your partner. You shouldn't have to. There should be enough trust in your relationship to know the other person isn't doing anything wrong. If there isn't, you probably shouldn't be in that relationship. |
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| Brian | Sep 28 2009, 06:31 PM Post #14 |
Homosexual Ogre
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I think between two -very- close people in a relationship, neither side would mind. People usually don't get upset about their personal lives unless they have something they don't want others to know. Here's a little story about my relationship. At one time, my love and I exchanged information with each other on passwords, accounts and whatnot just for fun. We actually saw such little value in it, we didn't even mind. Clearly, we had nothing to hide. Eventually, after things started getting rough around the edges, I noticed that she started hiding her status activities on different sites. Now she doesn't want me to know what she's doing. I definitely think that two very close people should be in on things like that. There's a comforting feeling when you know that there's nothing to worry about obviously, but then when a situation similar to mine occurs, things begin to change up, and suspicion begins to take effect. I never changed any of my passwords, so despite getting in arguments with my girlfriend and whatnot, she could still access my accounts. She on the other hand -has- changed hers after a few times she disappointed me. Like I said, it always seems to me like everyone has something to hide. I think that should be prohibited, if two people truly want to trust one another. |
 "They wanna take your women." - Too inappropriate for DBZF | |
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| Kotetsu | Sep 29 2009, 01:31 AM Post #15 |
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SOUPER SAYIN THREE
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Exactly. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who hides their true feelings. Thus giving me no reason to spy on anyone. |
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