| We hope you enjoy your visit to this forum. If you are reading this then it means you are currently browsing the forum as a guest, we don’t limit any of the content posted from guests however if you join, you will have the ability to join the discussions! We are always happy to see new faces at this forum and we would like to hear your opinion, so why not register now? It doesn’t take long and you can get posting right away. Click here to Register! If you are having difficulties validating your account please email us at admin@dbzf.co.uk If you're already a member please log in to your account: |
| Inadequacy; Something I wrote | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 18 2009, 06:47 AM (411 Views) | |
| Sam | Aug 18 2009, 06:47 AM Post #1 |
|
It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.
![]()
|
Something I wrote. Not a message of sadness, or depression, more like confusion. Let me know how I did. ---------------------- Inadequacy Inadequacy I remind myself of different times Training the body and the mind Refined It goes against the grain and all logic spinning around in my brain My life fits too loosely; a wire frame I became The thing that I wanted the most I could actually boast Yet I still have the Inadequacy Miraculously I thought I'd be A lot different from the old me I stood up and looked from under the trees Wondering what it's like to be free Inadequacy Finding it hard to be me Searching, trying to find the other half Struggling to think that I could be successful Stressful It's a sinking ship It broke and it flipped Right side up Knocked back down Walk away with a frown Took my crown Coming back to you with a lonely smile I ask myself to stay awhile Push me aside I trusted you with my mind You threw it away Forgiveness is in this Inadequacy Self-esteem building up Resulting in confusion It seems that this fusion Of body and mind Isn't really right for your kind What do you want What are your demands It's time to take a stand Inadequacy Right and wrong Just words and opinions Killing each other, murdering minions Standing by sadly, watching, you falling Simple minded desires Light the fires Yet one stands cold alone Stolen from his home Inadequacy Standing here Watching your fear In your eyes as the end comes near A better decision A better thought Would've been much better fought In the end of it all Inadequacy Better qualified Yet chosen last It went way too fast Cast out Pushed aside Run and hide You're not alone on the inside Others like you who reflect on their desires And are admired Yet are so inadequate? Confidence Compliments Shook me up Crying; tears caused by the lying Drying Causing this everlasting denying and the Inadequacy Finding the place in your heart that means the most Inadequacy It burns and roasts Inadequacy You throw a fist, I dodge and it missed Inadequacy But, it hit mentally, emotionally Inadequacy Hopefully, somebody's watching close to me Otherwise, is this just My inadequacy? |
|
WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 | |
![]() |
|
| DSXIII | Aug 18 2009, 01:50 PM Post #2 |
![]() ![]()
|
I opened the topic to read this, then I looked under your avatar and it said don't read this so I didn't.. jkAnyway, I'm not use to the style that it's written in, but it flows very well at some parts. Overall though you got the message across as the voice seemed to be confused throughout. Good job keep it up man. |
| |
![]() |
|
| Sam | Aug 19 2009, 05:59 AM Post #3 |
|
It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.
![]()
|
Thanks HustLa. |
|
WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 | |
![]() |
|
| * Sousen Ichimonji | Aug 19 2009, 07:26 AM Post #4 |
|
You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold
![]()
|
Very nice. The way that the lines don't really have a set number of syllabels gives it that confused, anxious feel to it, and the word choice itself is excellent. Great job! |
![]() Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget | |
![]() |
|
| Sam | Aug 19 2009, 08:06 AM Post #5 |
|
It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.
![]()
|
I wasn't even aware poems had set numbers of syllables! But, I guess that's a good thing, in this case :P. Thank you! |
|
WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 | |
![]() |
|
| Mike2 | Aug 19 2009, 08:41 PM Post #6 |
![]()
|
I didn't always comment, but I always wanted to tell you how surprised I am about the fact that you can write like this at your age. Never stop writing Neci, you've really got something
|
![]() | |
![]() |
|
| Strawberry | Aug 19 2009, 09:36 PM Post #7 |
![]()
Chiaroscuro ♥
![]()
|
I think you did a really nice job with this. And Hustla, I don't think this poem really had a style, it was more like a free style, but it worked out. Keep it up, Necifix. |
![]() ![]() ♪ ♥ ♫ Across The Universe
| |
![]() |
|
| Sam | Aug 20 2009, 07:34 AM Post #8 |
|
It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.
![]()
|
Thanks Rev! Thank you for your comments. |
|
WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 | |
![]() |
|
| Mike2 | Aug 20 2009, 04:31 PM Post #9 |
![]()
|
All of a sudden, me or Strawberry is Rev GuitarWorlds=DarkFlare, DFMike, Apocalypse, Mike Strawberry=Pineapple, Kris but you welcome =) |
![]() | |
![]() |
|
| Sam | Aug 22 2009, 07:48 AM Post #10 |
|
It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.
![]()
|
Really? You think I can tell the difference these days? I may have been back solidly most of the summer, but, I was gone for 4-5 months, and suddenly EVERRYYYONE HAD to change their name. Still don't know who is who. I know who Strawberry is though. |
|
WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 | |
![]() |
|
| Mike2 | Aug 29 2009, 04:28 AM Post #11 |
![]()
|
haha its cool man, me too, i have to admit, im like who is....everyone, but i know a little more now, ive checked the name history too but anyways, never stop writting neci, i look foward to more! |
![]() | |
![]() |
|
| 0 users reading this topic | |
| « Previous Topic · Writing and Videos · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
4:44 PM Jul 13
|
Theme Designed by McKee91
Powered by ZetaBoards Premium · Privacy Policy










jk












4:44 PM Jul 13