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Inadequacy; Something I wrote
Topic Started: Aug 18 2009, 06:47 AM (411 Views)
Sam
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It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.

Something I wrote. Not a message of sadness, or depression, more like confusion. Let me know how I did.

----------------------

Inadequacy

Inadequacy
I remind myself of different times
Training the body and the mind
Refined
It goes against the grain and all logic spinning around in my brain
My life fits too loosely; a wire frame
I became
The thing that I wanted the most
I could actually boast
Yet I still have the
Inadequacy
Miraculously
I thought I'd be
A lot different from the old me
I stood up and looked from under the trees
Wondering what it's like to be free

Inadequacy
Finding it hard to be me
Searching, trying to find the other half
Struggling to think that I could be successful
Stressful

It's a sinking ship
It broke and it flipped
Right side up
Knocked back down
Walk away with a frown
Took my crown
Coming back to you with a lonely smile
I ask myself to stay awhile

Push me aside
I trusted you with my mind
You threw it away
Forgiveness is in this

Inadequacy

Self-esteem building up
Resulting in confusion
It seems that this fusion
Of body and mind
Isn't really right for your kind
What do you want
What are your demands
It's time to take a stand

Inadequacy

Right and wrong
Just words and opinions
Killing each other, murdering minions
Standing by sadly, watching, you falling
Simple minded desires
Light the fires
Yet one stands cold alone
Stolen from his home

Inadequacy

Standing here
Watching your fear
In your eyes as the end comes near
A better decision
A better thought
Would've been much better fought
In the end of it all

Inadequacy

Better qualified
Yet chosen last
It went way too fast
Cast out
Pushed aside
Run and hide
You're not alone on the inside
Others like you who reflect on their desires
And are admired
Yet are so inadequate?

Confidence
Compliments
Shook me up
Crying; tears caused by the lying
Drying
Causing this everlasting denying and the Inadequacy

Finding the place in your heart that means the most

Inadequacy

It burns and roasts

Inadequacy

You throw a fist, I dodge and it missed

Inadequacy

But, it hit mentally, emotionally

Inadequacy

Hopefully, somebody's watching close to me
Otherwise, is this just
My inadequacy?
WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3
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DSXIII
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I opened the topic to read this, then I looked under your avatar and it said don't read this so I didn't.. :w00t: jk

Anyway, I'm not use to the style that it's written in, but it flows very well at some parts. Overall though you got the message across as the voice seemed to be confused throughout. Good job keep it up man.
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Sam
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It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.

Thanks HustLa.
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* Sousen Ichimonji
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You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold

Very nice. The way that the lines don't really have a set number of syllabels gives it that confused, anxious feel to it, and the word choice itself is excellent. Great job!
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Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget

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Sam
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It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.

Gooseberry
Aug 19 2009, 07:26 AM
Very nice. The way that the lines don't really have a set number of syllabels gives it that confused, anxious feel to it, and the word choice itself is excellent. Great job!
I wasn't even aware poems had set numbers of syllables! But, I guess that's a good thing, in this case :P.

Thank you!
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Mike2
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I didn't always comment, but I always wanted to tell you how surprised I am about the fact that you can write like this at your age.
Never stop writing Neci, you've really got something :)
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Strawberry
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Chiaroscuro ♥

I think you did a really nice job with this.
And Hustla, I don't think this poem really had a style, it was more like a free style, but it worked out.

Keep it up, Necifix.

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♪ ♥ ♫
Across The Universe
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Sam
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It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.

Thanks Rev! Thank you for your comments.
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Mike2
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All of a sudden, me or Strawberry is Rev :|
GuitarWorlds=DarkFlare, DFMike, Apocalypse, Mike
Strawberry=Pineapple, Kris

:|

but you welcome =)
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Sam
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It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.

GuitarWorlds
Aug 20 2009, 04:31 PM
All of a sudden, me or Strawberry is Rev :|
GuitarWorlds=DarkFlare, DFMike, Apocalypse, Mike
Strawberry=Pineapple, Kris

:|

but you welcome =)
Really? You think I can tell the difference these days?

I may have been back solidly most of the summer, but, I was gone for 4-5 months, and suddenly EVERRYYYONE HAD to change their name. Still don't know who is who. I know who Strawberry is though.
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Mike2
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haha its cool man, me too, i have to admit, im like who is....everyone, but i know a little more now, ive checked the name history too
but anyways, never stop writting neci, i look foward to more!
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