Dragonball Unlimited

Rotation Advertisements

We hope you enjoy your visit to this forum.

If you are reading this then it means you are currently browsing the forum as a guest, we don’t limit any of the content posted from guests however if you join, you will have the ability to join the discussions! We are always happy to see new faces at this forum and we would like to hear your opinion, so why not register now? It doesn’t take long and you can get posting right away.

Click here to Register!

If you are having difficulties validating your account please email us at admin@dbzf.co.uk

If you're already a member please log in to your account:

Dragonball Unlimited; Five or so years after the events of Z!
Tweet Topic Started: Jun 30 2009, 12:48 AM (617 Views)
Tenshinku	Jun 30 2009, 12:48 AM Post #1
Posts: 56 Group: Member Member #4,278 Joined: June 30, 2009 Favourite Anime Dragonball Favourite Manga Dragonball	It's kind of a sequel to dragonballz, but I'm going to have to explain a little bit. In Dragonball Unlimited dragonballz happened, the final two chapters of dragonballz did not happen, we are ignoring the end of dbz. Dragonball Unlimited is like a sequel of dbz but except it starts like 05 years later after the defeat of majin boo. Dragonball Unlimited Saga 0ne: Return of the Saiyan race saga. Part 01 Trunks is out flying over to Son goku’s house, most likely looking for goten. He has a pair of black shorts and a black long sleeve shirt. Trunks: I sure do hope that goten’s home, I mean there’s nothing to do in that boring house of mine. All I get over there is nagging from mom. Trunks looks down and sees goku’s house is right under him, he flies down there. He walks over to the front door with his right hand in his pocket and knocks with his left hand. Someone in the house hears the knock. I’m coming! The door is opened by chi-chi. She is wearing the exact same wardrobe she had in the beginning of dragonballz. Chi-chi: Oh! Trunks it’s you! Look at you, you’ve grown taller! How old are you now? Trunks: I’m about 13 right now. Chi-chi: Come in! Are you here for goten? Trunks: Yeah! Is he here? Chi-chi: Yeah, hold on a sec. Chichi opens a drawer and grabs a pair of socks and puts them on, along with her boots. Chichi goes over to the dining room over to the back door and goes outside and there you see goten and goku training. Goku is wearing the gi he always wears in dbz. Goten has grown taller, he still looks like goku though. He is 12. Goten: Ha ha dad! Is this all you have? Goten tries to kick goku, goku grabs gotens leg and throws him into the air. Goten: Time for me to use the technique dad taught me. Goten puts his two fingers on his forehead and transports behind goku and slams his head from behind. Goku is sent flying to the ground but catches himself by putting his palms on the ground and then doing a back flip. Chi-chi: Hey goten you have company! Goku: Whew! Whoa, talk about hungry! Alright goten, your improving a lot! Tomorrow we will fight as super saiyans and then we will see if you can ascend to Super saiyan 02. Goten: Huff huff, right! If it wasn’t for you getting hungry all the time we would train more and make even more progress. Goku: Hey don’t blame me! It’s like I have five stomachs to feed. Goku and goten start walking over to chichi. Chi-chi: Cant you guys stop training for at least one day to spend it with the family? Goku: Oh come on chichi we need to train to prepare for any dangers that are heading to earth. Chi-chi: Yeah yeah… I know! How about we have a picnic today with the whole family and all of our friends. Goku: Well I don’t know… Chi-chi: There’s going to be lots of food goku! Goku: Alright! I’m there! They all enter the house. Goten: Hey trunks! What brings you here? Trunks: Nothing I’m just bored out of my mind. Chi-chi: So trunks, would you and your family like to go to a picnic with us? Trunks: Sure why not? Chi-chi: Great! I’ll go call your parents right now. Go call your brother goten. Goten: Why me? Chi-chi: Look! You wont be ruining this! This family needs this desperately!! Goten: Alright! No need to yell. A few hours have passed. Everyone is at the park now. Goten is wearing a white sleeveless shirt with blue martial arts pants and some black martial arts shoes. Chi-chi is wearing the same clothing she wears in dragonball when she fights goku. She is over at the blanket preparing the food. Goku is wearing the same clothing, so is trunks. Bulma and vegeta arrive at the park with their daughter bra. She is about 05 years old. Bulma is wearing a blue dress with no sleeves and some high heels. Vegeta is wearing a brown sweater and a black shirt with some brown pants. Bulma: Oh son I haven’t seen you in a long time! Goku: Wow! You changed bulma. Bulma: Of course! I’m more elegant then ever. Goku: Oh I meant that you have a wrinkle under your eye. Bulma: And I MEANT THAT I’M MORE ELEGANT! Vegeta: So kakarot, you been keeping your boys in check? Goku: Well goten seems to be progressing, but gohan… well. What about trunks? Vegeta: We train everyday. He probably leaves your boy in the dust. Chi-chi: There, the foods ready! Goku: Alright! My favorite part! Everyone removes their shoes and sits at the blanket and begin grabbing food. Especially goku and vegeta, they are grabbing everything very fast and shoving it in their mouths. Everyone is staring at them like if they were a bunch of freaks. Over at a dessert there are five shining glows flying over to the ground, they crash making five craters. The objects look like saiyan spaceships, the doors begin to open. Four men wearing saiyan armor come out of the spaceships. One of them is a woman. Arocko: Hahaha, shall we go cut up some meat now! Slurp! Arocko is a medium sized saiyan with a mohawk who is very skinny. Crowna: Patience arocko, we will get all the meat we want! Crowna is a girl saiyan, she has long purple hair and is wearing an elite saiyan armor. Redrack is a tall buff saiyan with long hair and green eyes, he is wearing a blue saiyan armor. Omuku is an old skinny saiyan who is wearing an elite saiyan armor. Crowna: Lets go! They all fly away.
	Join my dragonball message board! http://dragonballss.forumotion.com/forum.htm


Tenshinku	Jun 30 2009, 11:50 PM Post #2
Posts: 56 Group: Member Member #4,278 Joined: June 30, 2009 Favourite Anime Dragonball Favourite Manga Dragonball	Dragonball Unlimited Saga 0ne: Return of the Saiyan race saga. Part 02 Gohan and videl arrive to the picnic with their one year old baby daughter named pan in videls arms. Gohan is wearing a blue T shirt and some black pants with black shoes. Videl is wearing some leggings with some flats, along with a white long shirt with no sleeves. Goku sees them and begins to wave at them with his mouth full, chi-chi disgusted at goku hits him with a spoon. Gohan and videl see them and go over to them, both remove their shoes and sit with the rest of them. Chi-chi: Oh it’s my baby! Pan! Can I hold her? Videl: Sure! Videl hands over baby pan over to chi-chi. Chi-chi: She is so adorable. Goku: So how’s it been for you two since you moved out? Gohan: It’s been great! We found a new bigger house that we’re going to move too. Chi-chi: So how’s your job? Gohan: It’s pretty good teaching at the university of Satan city. So where is goten? Chi-chi: I’m not sure. That boy is always getting into trouble. Goten and trunks were walking around the park but decided to go back to the picnic spot. They go and sit down right next to master roshi. Trunks starts to whisper over at roshi. Trunks: Hey old man. Do you have any more collectibles for me and goten? Master Roshi: Sure sonny! I always carry a few with me. Roshi pulls out a few nudie magazines from his shirt. Goten begins to blush. Trunks: Alright! Here is the Zeni. Just then someone’s feet stomp on the ground next to master roshi, it turns out to be bulma. Bulma: Are you some type of hustler selling these ridiculous things to kids!!? You perverted old freak!! Master roshi: No it’s not what you think! I need the mo- Bulma begins to smack him around. Goten and trunks creep away. Back to where the saiyans are the group seems to be heading over to a city. Crowna: Finally our hunger will be appeased. Also our goal for those balls that grant wishes. Omuku: Yes, now that our race lives again we shall revive our planet. They arrive at the city. Arocko: Sluuuurpp… shall we? Crowna begins gathering her energy on both of her hands. Crowna gives away an evil grin. Crowna: Sure…. She throws both energy attacks at the city, both hitting two big buildings. Arocko flies with his tongue out of his mouth and shoots a energy beam out of his mouth over to a theme park, the theme park vanishes from existence. Crowna is floating right next to him. Crowna: You know if you keep it up like this, there wont be much meat left. Arocko: No need to worry. I’m being careful. I just like playing with my prey. Omuku is standing in the middle of the street, he starts shooting energy beams from his eyes. The people begin to panic. Redrack grabs a couple and smashes them on to each other. Arocko jumps at this woman and blood is coming out from all over her, you could hear her screaming. Arocko has blood all over his mouth and body when he is done with her. Arocko: Yuck… human meat tastes disgusting raw. Over at the park goku stops eating and stands up. Vegeta: I feel four energies, kakarot. They feel… saiyan. Goku: Yeah… Goku knew vegeta was right about them being saiyan. Chi-chi: What is it goku? Goku: Vegeta, trunks, goten, there isn’t much time. I can feel them killing a lot of people. Chi-chi: But goku… Goku, vegeta, trunks and goten put on their shoes. Goku: Sorry Chi-chi, I know how important today is to you, but I promise you we wont take long. Chi-chi: Just go goku. I believe you. Goku smiles. Goku: Thank you Chi-chi… Goku then flies away with vegeta and the boys. Bulma: Vegeta, trunks…. I hope they’re going to be alright. Back at the city, which has been made into a ghost town has the saiyans camping out eating their human meat. Crowna: After we are finished eating we will search for the balls. Goku, vegeta, trunks and goten land in the same area where the saiyans are. Goku: We’re too late…damn! All the saiyans stand up with awe. Crowna: P- prince vegeta? Vegeta: Well, if it isn’t crowna. I thought you were dead. Crowna: I was dead, we were all dead. You… Goku: Me? Crowna: You look like bardock. You must be his son. Goku: Bardock? Never heard of him… Grrr… why did you destroy this city? Arocko: We were famished… Goku transports in front of him and punches him over to a destroyed building and transports back to where he was. Crowna: Your fast… Goku: You selfish fools… So your saiyan huh? Figures… Crowna: Prince vegeta… what has happened to you? You normally would kill because of the enjoyment of it, you’re a disgrace. Vegeta: Me a disgrace? You’re the one that kills people weaker then you. Crowna: Your father will be disappointed when he hears about you talking this way. Vegeta: My father…? Crowna: The whole saiyan race is back… Vegeta, goku, trunks and goten look in awe.
	Join my dragonball message board! http://dragonballss.forumotion.com/forum.htm


Inu no Taishō	Jul 1 2009, 02:38 PM Post #3
Posts: 28 Group: Member Member #4,277 Joined: June 29, 2009 Favourite Anime don't have one What Browser do you use? FireFox Favourite Manga don't have one	nice I like it



BattleMetal	Jul 1 2009, 08:40 PM Post #4
Posts: 596 Group: Member Member #3,821 Joined: November 24, 2008	This is well written. Youve paragraphed it and theres description to help build things for the reader. Calm relaxing way to introduce us to the story too, liked the little spar between Goten and Goku, with Goten using Instant Transmission. Interesting that youve chosen to do it after the Buu saga, so no Uub and Pan is is just a year old. And now there is more Saiyans, interesting to see where this goes. I was thinking though to make it easier to read you need to separate people when they are talking. Like give them different paragraphs rather than stuffing them altogether in the same sentence. For example you wrote; Goku knew vegeta was right about them being saiyan. Chi-chi: What is it goku? Goku: Vegeta, trunks, goten, there isn’t much time. I can feel them killing a lot of people. Chi-chi: But goku… its a little confusing to read, you do get it most times but you have to read it twice sometimes too. You change this later in the chapter though and it becomes easier to follow when you have Goku, Crona and Arocko talk. Looking forward to reading more. Hope the advice helps (and makes sense).
	http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8040430/1/ Link to my DBZ fan-fic tale: Saiyans, Frieza, the Ginyu Force and other alien races and beings all chucked into the soup-pot for all out action and glory! http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8129945/1/#new Link to a DBZ inspired story/ battle scenario that i did when i was 16 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8071554/1/#new Link to the Marvel/DC tale of the super-powered hereos and villians of both verses. Biggest heavy-hitters square off in an almight-free-for-all brawl!


Tenshinku	Jul 1 2009, 08:50 PM Post #5
Posts: 56 Group: Member Member #4,278 Joined: June 30, 2009 Favourite Anime Dragonball Favourite Manga Dragonball	Thanks for the advice. I'll be sure to add it into future chapters since these ones are already written. Dragonball Unlimited Saga 0ne: Return of the Saiyan race saga. Part 03 Crowna: What’s wrong? I would have thought that you and bardock’s boy would feel happy for your own race. Vegeta: Listen, I have great respect for my own race, but if your going to come here and destroy the place I now call home! Vegeta puts on his fighting pose. Vegeta: Then I will do my hardest to defend it! Even from you! Goku: (Nicely said, vegeta…) Vegeta powers up to super saiyan. All the saiyans are surprised. Vegeta jumps into the air and shoots a final flash. Vegeta: FINAL FLASH!! Vegeta shoots a huge final flash over to the saiyans. The saiyans try to fly away from it but are caught by the attacks gravity and are taken inside it. It explodes. Trunks: I don’t want to get on his bad side anymore… Goku: … The smoke clears and the saiyans are on the ground, hurt. The are kneeling for a bit, but they stand up. Their saiyan armors are damaged. They seem damaged too. Vegeta quickly appears behind them. Crowna: (To fast!!) Vegeta: Galick gun! Vegeta shoots a huge galick gun directly behind her, omuku and redrack both evade the attack. Crowna attempts to block the attack. The attack hits and explodes. Goten and trunks appear behind omuku and redrack and kick them over to the ground and power up to their super saiyan form. The smoke clears and crowna is bleeding from her lip. Her saiyan armor is even more damaged then before. She looks angry. Vegeta: You actually are stronger then when I last saw you, but that isn’t saying much is it? You fool! At the way you are now you top freeza’s max at best! Crowna smiles. Crowna: (He’s too strong for me to face like this…) Your strong, I’m so excited, being brought to the brink of death. Oh! That wonderful painful feeling… Vegeta smiles. Vegeta: (Spoken like a true saiyan…) Crowna begins to gather her energy. Crowna: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!! Her energy begins to turn golden yellow, along with her hair, her eyes become blue. She has transformed into a super saiyan Vegeata: You managed to reach super saiyan huh? Well your stronger then me in this form. Crowna: What do you mean? Vegeta begins to gather his energy, electricity appears around him. Vegeta:Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! He is now a super saiyan 02. Crowna:No way…. (There’s another level…?) Vegeta flies over to her, he is standing right in front of her. Arocko jumps out of the destroyed building he was kicked over to and is now facing goku. Goku: I guess it’s me and you. Arocko begins to power up and becomes a super saiyan. Goku does the same. Goku: Hey, not bad! You can turn super saiyan! Arocko: Well, well, you can turn super saiyan too ey? Goku: Sorry but I made a promise not to stay here long. I could raise up my super saiyan power twice more. Goku begins to gather his energy, electricity appears all around his body. His hair begins to grow long. Goku: This is super saiyan 03. Arocko: …..!!? Crowna and vegeta are fighting up in the sky. Crowna attempts to kick vegeta on his ribs, vegeta sidesteps it and punches her on the stomach repeatedly with both his fists. He stops and trips her with his leg and places his hands on her and shoots a combined energy beam from both his hands on her which shoots her all the way down to a destroyed building. Vegeta: (Hmm, kakarot must have shown his opponent his true power. I wonder what his reaction is…) Goten is fighting with redrack. Redrack is trying to punch him but goten is too fast for him, goten kicks him in the chin. Goten: Come on! You can do better then that! Trunks kicks Omuku on his face sending him to the ground. Omuku: Boy, you are powerful, even for a half breed. Trunks: Huh? How did you know I’m not fully a saiyan? Omuku: Your hair. Every full blood saiyans hair is always black. Omuku transforms into his super saiyan state. He flies over to trunks, he attempts to punch trunks, trunks cancels it out by punching omuku’s fist. Both their blows begins to clash, from his fists clashing with trunks fists to his kicks clashing with thrunks kicks. Both seem even, until omuku shoots lasers from his eyes over to trunks. Trunks moves his his head back and slams him from the sky over to the ground. Redrack knees goten on his stomach, Goten spits out blood, goten trying to catch his breath has his leg still laying on redrack’s knee. Redrack repeatedly keeps on punching his head, until goten begins to get angry. He moves out of the way and kicks redrack on his right cheek. Vegeta and Crowna have stopped fighting for a little. Vegeta: Look, the best thing for you to do right now is to tell me, how was the saiyan race revived and by who and what does he plan to do? This all seems fishy… Crowna: I wont… huck, koff… talk to a traitor… Vegeta: Look, even if by any chance you manage to beat me, kakarot over there is a super saiyan three. Crowna: Super saiyan 03…? Vegeta: Your best bet is to talk… Crowna: Do you think this is the extent of our power…? We discovered another transformation for us saiyans. Vegeta: What? Super saiyan 2? Hahahaha…! Crowna: It has nothing to do with super saiyan…. Crowna creates an artificial moon with her hand and throws it up in the sky. She shoots a little of her super saiyan energy at it, the artificial moon begins to glow a yellow glow. Crowna’s eyes become blue and her body begins to get covered with fur, her face turns into that of the great ape. She begins to grow claws on both her hand and her feet. She has become a humanoid form of the great ape. Vegeta: Her energy… what the hell is this...!?
	Join my dragonball message board! http://dragonballss.forumotion.com/forum.htm


Tenshinku	Jul 4 2009, 08:08 PM Post #6
Posts: 56 Group: Member Member #4,278 Joined: June 30, 2009 Favourite Anime Dragonball Favourite Manga Dragonball	Here it is guys! Tell me what you think so far! Dragonball Unlimited Saga 0ne: Return of the Saiyan race saga. Part 04 Vegeta: What in god’s name…!? Crowna: Before I kill you I would like to make you a proposition. Vegeta: Forget it! I won’t join in your stupidity. Crowna: I see… I was going to spare your life so that you can join us in rebuilding the saiyan empire but I see you don’t want too… Crowna runs over to vegeta, vegeta prepares himself to fight back but crowna smacks him with her tail and cuts him on his arm. She proceeds to kick him over to a pile of rocks. Vegeta: Grrr… You managed to surprise me, and anger me...! Crowna flies down over to vegeta and knees him on his stomach. Redrack and goten are standing in front of one another. Goten: You aren’t bad. Redrack: I don’t want any compliments from no half breeds. Redrack begins to power up and turns super saiyan. Goten: Whoa your power just went through the roof…! Redrack looks up into the moon, he then shoots some of his super saiyan energy at it. His eyes become blue and he begins to grow red fur all over his body, he grows claws on both his feet and arms, his teeth are very sharp. He is now a humanoid version of the great ape. Goten: What in the world…!? Redrack jumps out over to goten, he reacts by dodging him and prepares to kick redrack. Redrack grabs goten’s leg and pierces it with his claws. Goten: Grugh… (My leg!) Redrack aims his tail at goten, a red aura begins to appear around his body and his tail. His tail forms a red beam and shoots it at goten. When it hits goten the area explodes with redrack flying out of the blast unharmed. Arocko is kneeling on the gorund in front of goku. Goku: Had enough? Arocko: Huff… you think I am weak! Goku: (I have to finish this quick and help vegeta out. That transformation was strange. Can’t let him look at the moon.} Arocko: By looking up at the moon and- Goku appears behind arocko and kicks him on his head over to the ground, knocking him out cold. Goku looks over at crowna and vegeta. Crowna has vegeta on the ground while she kicks him all over his body. Goku flies over to crowna and vegeta and kicks her away from him. Goku: Vegeta, are you alright? Vegeta: Tch, yeah…. (Grr… I don’t need to be saved like a helpless child…!) Crowna gets up and floats over to goku. Crowna: Your powerful... Would you like to join us kakarot? Goku: Join you? What for!? Crowna: Think about it, we will rebuild the Saiyan Empire, starting by collecting the objects called dragonballs! Goku: Dragonballs huh…? Crowna: With the dragonballs we will wish for eternal life so we can live and fight forever! With our second wish we will wish for our planet to be revived! Our planet, Planet Vegeta! Then we will go out ruling the universe! Taking planets for ourselves, so that when we reproduce our race even more, we will have all the room we need for our race! Selling planets to other races! We will control the universe! So! What do you say!? Goku: Sorry, but I decline. I stop evil, not cause it. Crowna: Suit yourself traitor! You and the rest of your lot will die by our hands! Crowna powers up and rushes over to goku, goku powers up too and throws a punch at her. She smacks it away and kicks him on the face. He then puts his hand on her face and smashes it on the ground. She pulls his arm and slams him to the ground. Both get up and back away from one another. Goku: ( This is…! Exciting…! Crowna: ( He seems to be a fun one…) Both stare and smirk at each other.
	Join my dragonball message board! http://dragonballss.forumotion.com/forum.htm


BattleMetal	Jul 4 2009, 09:14 PM Post #7
Posts: 596 Group: Member Member #3,821 Joined: November 24, 2008	Interesting. So youve given these Saiyans a unique form, a humanoid Oozaru whos power seems to be greater than a SS2 possibly on par with a SS3. Wonder how they discovered to do this transformation? Will there be drawbacks to this state? Interesting that your now planning to include the Dragonballs in this story too. Crowna seems to be very strong. Lets see what you bring next.
	http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8040430/1/ Link to my DBZ fan-fic tale: Saiyans, Frieza, the Ginyu Force and other alien races and beings all chucked into the soup-pot for all out action and glory! http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8129945/1/#new Link to a DBZ inspired story/ battle scenario that i did when i was 16 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8071554/1/#new Link to the Marvel/DC tale of the super-powered hereos and villians of both verses. Biggest heavy-hitters square off in an almight-free-for-all brawl!


Tenshinku	Jul 5 2009, 08:10 PM Post #8
Posts: 56 Group: Member Member #4,278 Joined: June 30, 2009 Favourite Anime Dragonball Favourite Manga Dragonball	Of course I'm going to be showing how they discover this state. The use of dragonballs in dragonball related fanfictions has gone downhill. What is the point of a dragonball fanfiction with no use of the dragonballs huh? Also thanks man for reading! I'll be posting some more tomorow!
	Join my dragonball message board! http://dragonballss.forumotion.com/forum.htm


BattleMetal	Jul 5 2009, 09:59 PM Post #9
Posts: 596 Group: Member Member #3,821 Joined: November 24, 2008	Like to see what you come up with. See how much youve thought this out, see how creative you are. I know what you mean in regards to the Dragonballs too. My first fan fic doesnt include the Dragonballs an just focuses on events in the past so i cant say anything BUT they become the drive for things later on. Events that affect the future in my future sagas. When people do feature Dragonballs in their story they usually arent used as the drive for adeventure or the cause for struggle. More used as an easy means to fix problems, like people dying or some easy way to gain a massive power up. Its always too easy to collect the Dragonballs too.
	http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8040430/1/ Link to my DBZ fan-fic tale: Saiyans, Frieza, the Ginyu Force and other alien races and beings all chucked into the soup-pot for all out action and glory! http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8129945/1/#new Link to a DBZ inspired story/ battle scenario that i did when i was 16 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8071554/1/#new Link to the Marvel/DC tale of the super-powered hereos and villians of both verses. Biggest heavy-hitters square off in an almight-free-for-all brawl!


Inu no Taishō	Jul 6 2009, 04:54 AM Post #10
Posts: 28 Group: Member Member #4,277 Joined: June 29, 2009 Favourite Anime don't have one What Browser do you use? FireFox Favourite Manga don't have one	this is nice work man. I like it keep it up



Tenshinku	Jul 6 2009, 08:36 PM Post #11
Posts: 56 Group: Member Member #4,278 Joined: June 30, 2009 Favourite Anime Dragonball Favourite Manga Dragonball	Thanks inu. I'll be posting more this week. This is just me being lazy lol.
	Join my dragonball message board! http://dragonballss.forumotion.com/forum.htm


1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)


« Previous Topic · Dragon Ball Fanwork · Next Topic »