DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga

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DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga; (PG-13) Fan Fiction
Tweet Topic Started: Jun 19 2009, 12:34 AM (569 Views)
Kevlar	Jun 19 2009, 12:34 AM Post #1
Posts: 6 Group: New Member Member #4,248 Joined: June 18, 2009	NOTE: Imagine the end of DBZ, when the Z-Fighters are at a party. I do not recall where it was, only that it was six months after they'd beaten Buu, if I am correct. Even if I am not, bear with me. All you need to know is that Uub has yet to be discovered, and all is peaceful. I hope that everyone enjoys. DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga – Chapter One A colossal, dome-like spaceship glided through space. It was as bright as the stars it passed and moved faster than the comets it obliterated in its wake. It was heading for Earth. * “Goodbye!” Goku yelled, standing outside Capsule Corp. Both Krillin and Piccolo had just left Bulma’s party, and were flying away in the distance. Afterwards, Goku walked back inside to the dining area, where only a couple-dozen guests remained. Scanning the room, he noticed that Vegeta was sitting alone at a table in the corner, next to a window overlooking the rising moon. He walked over and took a seat. “Vegeta, have you been keeping up with your training? Gohan and you are the only types of guys worth sparring now that I’ve left the Other World.” “Kakarot,” he retorted. “Until I achieve the third level of Super Saiyan, I have no interest in sparring with you. I’ve told you before! Now, what did you really come here to ask me?” “Damn Vegeta. There’s really no fooling you. I was wondering if you could tell me what Planet Vegeta was like.” “It was a hideous heap of rock. And its inhabitants were powerless to live freely because that bastard Frieza kept such a tight leash on them all. You were not unlucky to have never seen it, if that’s what you’re asking.” Such a blunt answer surprised Goku. He had heard Vegeta speak of being the prince of all Saiyans on multiple occasions, but never of Planet Vegeta itself. Now he knew why. “Thanks Vegeta. I’ve been thinking about it, and all, because it was where I was born, you know?” “No Kakarot, I don’t. There’s no need for us to keep babbling if you’re finished. Be gone.” With a smile, Goku stood up and notified Bulma that he’d be leaving. Chi-Chi, Gohan and Goten left with him in their new ship, which was bought with Goten’s winnings from the World Martial Arts tournament. They arrived home within an hour, and were off to bed. Six months had passed since the Z-Fighters defeated Majin Buu. All was well. Then, a year later, the dome-like spaceship landed.



BattleMetal	Jun 19 2009, 01:00 AM Post #2
Posts: 596 Group: Member Member #3,821 Joined: November 24, 2008	Fair enough. Good chapter, short and simple (i like chapters like that personally) lets us know where we are in the story. Characters seem spot on so far, good understanding of how people speak and react to one another. Ending though seemed a bit rushed but maybe you didnt want to bog the reader down with useless info if nothing is happening. Just cut to the chase. Theres the added mystery of this fast, bright ship flying through space charging towards Earth. interesing so far.
	http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8040430/1/ Link to my DBZ fan-fic tale: Saiyans, Frieza, the Ginyu Force and other alien races and beings all chucked into the soup-pot for all out action and glory! http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8129945/1/#new Link to a DBZ inspired story/ battle scenario that i did when i was 16 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8071554/1/#new Link to the Marvel/DC tale of the super-powered hereos and villians of both verses. Biggest heavy-hitters square off in an almight-free-for-all brawl!


Kevlar	Jun 19 2009, 01:37 AM Post #3
Posts: 6 Group: New Member Member #4,248 Joined: June 18, 2009	RESPONSE TO BattleMetal: Thanks for your compliments. All of the chapters will be short and to the point. Although I am fond of DBZ, I've always felt it moved too slowly. Here, I want to move things along quickly. DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga – Chapter Two The door to the spaceship opened. One man emerged, and then it shut. The man was tall and toned, standing six feet tall and sporting a black, short ponytail. His goatee was surrounded by scars; clearly, he’d seen many battles in his days, even though he didn’t appear to be exceptionally old. He was wearing forest-green armor. From his pocket he pulled out a radar device and clicked it once. Two locations began to flash. With his finger, he touched one of them on the screen. A plethora of information started to download, and then it showed a face. It was Goku’s. Immediately, the man took flight. * Since the defeat of Majin Buu, Goku’s days had consisted of 14-hour training sessions, starting early in the morning and finishing late in the evening. On this day, he was training in the gravity machine Bulma gave Goten as a birthday present. Although Goten never trained for as long as Goku did, he joined his father every afternoon, providing for him a semi-worthy sparring partner while providing for himself an invaluable teacher. Before Goten entered the gravity machine, he would eat lunch with him. They were just finishing their ninth and final helping when they sensed, in the distance, a remarkable power heading their way. “Dad, do you feel that?” Goten asked. “What a ki! And it’s heading right towards us!” Goku stood up so quickly he knocked over the dinner table and spilled food all over the floor. Chi-Chi, who was cleaning up in the kitchen, gasped. “What is it Goku? What’s ‘heading right towards us’?” “Go upstairs Chi-Chi. Goten, come on!” Without hesitation, Chi-Chi ran to the stairs while Goten nodded confidently. He and his father ran outside just in time to see a black dot in the distance move closer, and closer, and closer. Before they knew it, the dot became a figure, and then a man, and then he landed in front of them so forcefully the wind kicked up, throwing dust at their faces. The man stared into Goku’s eyes, his confidence serving as an antithesis to Goku’s shock. And before he spoke, he smiled. “Kakarot, it’s been a long time.” “Who are you? How do you know my name?” Goku inquired as he jumped into a fighting stance, flexing his arms. Goten followed. “Clearly, you remember me. For such a powerful guy, there is no other explanation for the bewilderment in your eyes.” Suddenly, Goku and Goten sensed the rest of the Z-Fighters heading towards them. Within seconds, they landed in a circle around the newly arrived man, his smile still intact. Each of them – Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, Trunks and Vegeta – looked at him in terror. Their eyes were focused on his waist, and that’s when Goku noticed it as well: He had a tail. “Hello Vegeta,” the man shouted, his eyes still locked with Goku’s. “It seems like an eternity since we’ve seen one another.” All eyes turned to Vegeta in that moment, his teeth clenched in anger and his fist held so tight his nails raked at his skin. “…Pourri?”



Kevlar	Jun 19 2009, 02:15 AM Post #4
Posts: 6 Group: New Member Member #4,248 Joined: June 18, 2009	DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga – Chapter Three “You swine! I thought you’d been killed along with the rest of the Saiyans when Frieza destroyed Planet Vegeta!” Vegeta yelled, his ki swelling uncontrollably because of his rage. “You know this guy?” Goku shrieked in disbelief. Without answering, the man Vegeta called Pourri started taking steps towards Goku. He was smiling so confidently he seemed to be snarling. Goku grabbed Goten and threw him to Gohan, and then resumed his defensive position. His and Pourri’s eyes were still locked. Suddenly, Pourri raised his hand. All the Z-Fighters prepared to attack. And then, he offered Goku a handshake. “Huh?” Goku uttered, exiting from his stance. He accepted Pourri’s hand immediately, never exploring the possibility that Pourri might be trying to lure him off guard. The rest of the Z-Fighters looked on suspiciously. “I never thought a guy like you could be scared, Goku,” Pourri laughed. “My name is Pourri. I am a Saiyan, formerly from the Planet Vegeta, like you.” Vegeta, hearing this, charged towards him. “Answer me you bastard! Why aren’t you dead? I was told there were only four survivors of Frieza’s attack on our home!” “You are naïve, Vegeta.” Pourri responded, finally making eye contact with the prince. “But, you are a hero, as is Kakarot.” “Hero?” Goku and Vegeta responded simultaneously. “You both aided in the defeat of Frieza, who wiped the Saiyans from the universe. Then, you defeated that Majin Buu character, who we’d been watching from afar.” “Who is this guy, Vegeta?” Goku exclaimed. “He’s a politician. My father always warned me about his type. He always hung around secret guys and did secret things not even my father, the king, was fully aware of.” Still, Vegeta’s fist and teeth were clenched. “You have not changed from when you were a boy,” Pourri responded calmly. “There were always things at work you and your father could never understand. It is because I am a man of secrets that a handful of Saiyans you were unaware of survived Frieza’s attack, and it is because I am a man of secrets that our race is in the position it’s in now.” “What position is that?” Goku asked. “Rebirth, Kakarot. We are in a position of rebirth. Now that Frieza has been destroyed and Majin Buu no longer poses a threat to the universe, we believe it is time for us to come out of hiding. We want you two to be a part of it. We want you to reclaim your position as king, Vegeta, and we want you to help him lead, Kakarot!” “Are you suggesting we colonize a new planet? That we start a civilization from nothing?” Vegeta demanded an answer. “Yes, I am. We would call it Vegito.” At that moment, Goku looked into the eyes of Piccolo, the wise Namekian he always went to for advice. He was stunned. Goku then turned and looked at Gohan and Goten, his sons. They were frightened. And then, Goku turned and looked at his home. Chi-Chi stood at the upstairs window, and, having clearly heard everything, was crying. Finally, Goku turned and looked at Pourri. He was still smiling.



Kevlar	Jun 19 2009, 09:16 PM Post #5
Posts: 6 Group: New Member Member #4,248 Joined: June 18, 2009	DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga – Chapter Four “I ain’t gonna be a leader. I’m not a Saiyan anyhow. I’m an Earthling as far as I’m concerned. So I’ll pass. Sorry Pourri!” Goku said. “Ha!” Vegeta chuckled. “There’s no way I’ll be helping you either. I don’t care what you say; you’re a coward in my books.” “I expected these answers,” Pourri responded, looking unfazed. “But, just incase, would you care to meet my leader - the man responsible for allowing the Saiyans to exist even when they were thought to be eradicated?” “Of course not…” Vegeta immediately shot back. “Alright!” Goku shot back contrarily. Vegeta looked at him in disgust. “Goku, what are you doing?” Piccolo yelled. “Father, there’s no way we can trust this guy so quickly! He just shows up, asks you to fly across the galaxy with him and you accept his offer?” “It’s insane Goku!” Krillin added. “Don’t worry guys. He’s been nothing but friendly so far.” Goku then turned to Vegeta. “Vegeta, what’s so wrong with Pourri anyhow that’s made you so mad?” “While our people were fighting for their lives, he was busy sneaking off trying to save his own hide! He’s a disgrace to the Saiyan race, both a coward and a man completely unashamed of his actions!” Clearly infuriated by Vegeta’s ongoing accusations, Pourri finally reacted. “You were off in the distance as well! You made no attempt on Frieza’s life either! And it isn’t because you were waiting to gain power; it’s because you wanted to stay alive! I’m no more a coward than you are!” “You arrogant bastard!” Vegeta screamed, his body locked in a fighting stance and his ki rising astronomically. Suddenly, he broke, a swirl of gold emerging from the air and engulfing him as he transformed into a Super Saiyan, ready to fight. Pourri calmed down, and took little notice of Vegeta’s outburst. “If you still want to accompany me to our base of operations, you can find my ship 200 miles northeast of this location. Even though you might have no desire to be a part of our rebirth, Kakarot, it would honor us if you would meet our leader.” “I would be honored.” Goku bowed to Pourri in respect. “I will wait for you until tomorrow.” Pourri took another glance at Vegeta, snarled, and took off. The Z-Fighters all ran in towards Goku, except for Trunks, who ran in towards his father, who had reverted to his usual state and seemed to have gained control over his emotions. “You can’t be serious Goku! There’s never been a Saiyan from outer space with any good intentions towards this planet. You could be playing into his leader’s hands.” “I don’t sense anything wrong about this guy. And, if he has ill intentions, we’d have to fight him in the end anyhow, right?” Everyone could tell Goku wished there was something wrong with Pourri, because it meant he’d have a chance to defend the Earth again. “So, who’s coming with?”



BattleMetal	Jun 19 2009, 09:39 PM Post #6
Posts: 596 Group: Member Member #3,821 Joined: November 24, 2008	Good. Ive read from chapter 2 upto chapter 4 now. I thought when you made Goku shake Pourri's hand was interesting, usually its slap-bang-thank-you-mam kind of thing (no character build up just some mindless villian fighting the Z warriors in other fan fics). I think you should have said though that maybe Goku sensed no malice in Pourris gesture but maybe senses malice in Pourris nature. However you cover why Goku trusts Pourri in chapter 4 so its alrite. You must read and pay attention some good authors style as you have a good understanding of how people would speak and the manner in which they would act. The eye contact between Vegeta and Pourri was simple but you could sense the hostility, the tension between the warriors. Loved your description of Vegeta going SS, wasnt just 'Vegeta turned Super Saiyan blah blah' but the golden swirl was cool and easy to envisage. Again simple but effective. Curious but do you write this on the spot or do you type it at home then post it in? Keep going, you might not get a lot of responses but i will keep giving you my opinnions. Ive wrote a fan-fic also and havent had many responses at all (like 2/3 ive posted over 20 chapters), just views mostly. Dont lose heart though man if it does go that way.
	http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8040430/1/ Link to my DBZ fan-fic tale: Saiyans, Frieza, the Ginyu Force and other alien races and beings all chucked into the soup-pot for all out action and glory! http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8129945/1/#new Link to a DBZ inspired story/ battle scenario that i did when i was 16 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8071554/1/#new Link to the Marvel/DC tale of the super-powered hereos and villians of both verses. Biggest heavy-hitters square off in an almight-free-for-all brawl!


* Psyam	Jun 19 2009, 10:33 PM Post #7
Posts: 1,788 Group: Retired Staff Member #3,439 Joined: May 18, 2008 Gender Not Specified Favourite Anime HxH What Browser do you use? Firefox Favourite Manga One Piece	I think this is quite good. It's simple, but I like that, and the characters reactions are well written. It's annoying when you read a fanfic and the characters are all out of...character. Anyway, it kept me interested and I'd like to read more Keep it up!



Kevlar	Jun 20 2009, 12:05 AM Post #8
Posts: 6 Group: New Member Member #4,248 Joined: June 18, 2009	RESPONSE TO COMMENTS: Thanks again guys. Another reason why I'm leaving things so simple is so you can fill in the gaps with what you want. Imagine the Z-Fighters looking how you want. Dressing how you want. Etc. EDIT: When I'm writing these, I type them up in Word, edit them once and post them. They're not written on-the-spot but they're not given a lot of rest either. DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga – Chapter Five “Goku, you’re not really going to become King of a new Saiyan planet with that scary man, are you?” Chi-Chi asked, tears streaming down her face at the thought of her husband leaving her again. She and Goku were sitting on their bed. “Nah Chi-Chi! I just want to check those guys out. I want to find out more about Planet Vegeta.” “Alright, but if you don’t come back, I’ll kill you.” Goku laughed at such a comment, interpreting it to be a light-hearted joke. “You think I’m kidding!?” Chi-Chi stood up, smashing over the nightstand next to the bed in the process and frightening Goku to such an extent he curled up in a fetal position. “You think you can leave us for seven years, come back for one, and then leave us forever to go rule aliens half-way across the galaxy? Huh!?” By this point, a vein was protruding from Chi-Chi’s forehead with such ferocity it overwhelmed her face. Her anger was such that Goku, one of the most powerful fighters in the universe, had his face buried in a pillow praying for dear life. “Chi-Chi! I swear I’m coming back!” * Outside Goku’s house, the rest of the Z-Fighters discussed the situation at hand. All remained who witnessed Pourri’s arrival except Vegeta and Trunks. Vegeta wanted no part in Pourri’s offer and didn’t want his son traveling through space with such a dishonorable man. To Vegeta, Pourri was scum because he never tried to avenge the Saiyans by going after Frieza. “Gohan, what do you think?” Piccolo asked, leaning against a tree in the shade, arms folded, with Gohan, Goten and Krillin sitting down around him. “I don’t know. Pourri doesn’t seem like that bad a guy, but there’s something suspicious about a Saiyan who shows up on Earth and immediately comes looking for Dad.” “He was cool-looking.” Goten randomly observed. “No Goten, that guy was scary.” Krillin countered. “I haven’t seen a Saiyan with a tail in years. I’m almost relieved that he’ll be getting off the planet now because if he decided to stay it might mean we face a great ape in the future.” “Piccolo, how strong do you think that guy was in the first place?” Gohan inquired, rising to his feet in the process. “I couldn’t get any reading on him.” “No idea. He was masking his power level the entire time he was talking to Goku and Vegeta.” “Do you think he could be as strong as father, Gohan?” Goten asked with his usual uncertain tone. All eyes turned to Gohan to hear his answer. “I don’t know. Even if he normally isn’t that tough a guy, transforming into a great ape will raise his strength tremendously. There’s no telling what he can do.” “Then some of us need to go with Goku for sure, just incase something bad happens.” Krillin suggested. “I’m going,” Piccolo volunteered immediately. “Goku’s got no sense outside of fighting. I’ll serve as his eyes when he isn’t paying attention.” “I’d like to go, but I’m not sure I’d be much help…” Krillin’s confidence had waned in recent years. “I’ll go as well.” Gohan was the next to volunteer, although he was more reluctant than Piccolo. “Can I go too?” Goten was anxious to join now that Gohan had. “No little bro,” Gohan shot down his brother’s hopes reflexively. “I want you to stick around and keep an eye on Mom.” “She probably won’t even let you go!” Goten had his arms folded, his face twisted into a false-frown clearly meant to generate sympathy. “It’s the summertime kid. I ain’t doing much else.” “So it’s settled,” Piccolo, despite not being as powerful as Gohan, was still respected enough to maintain a leader status. He exited his leaning position on the tree and stood erect, arms unfolded. “Gohan and I will accompany Goku to see these Saiyans. Goten and Krillin will stay to keep an eye on things.” All the Z-Fighters except Goten, still frustrated at not getting his way, nodded in unison. All the while, Chi-Chi’s voice was echoing from inside the house. “Is it just me, or has she been going for a half-hour straight?” Krillin joked. “I don’t know what’s weirder – Mom yelling forever or Dad not being able to speak through any of it.” Goten looked puzzled. Even Piccolo cracked a smile after that. Edited by Kevlar, Jun 20 2009, 12:09 AM.



Kevlar	Jun 20 2009, 01:46 AM Post #9
Posts: 6 Group: New Member Member #4,248 Joined: June 18, 2009	DBZ: Planet Vegito Saga – Chapter Six Goku, Gohan and Piccolo departed from Capsule Corp. the following morning. They were given a satellite phone by Bulma so they could communicate with Earth should anything go wrong. On the way, Piccolo gave Goku one final warning, their bodies soaring through the clouds. “Goku, I know this Pourri fellow seems alright, but he’s a Saiyan after all. He could be trouble.” “I know Piccolo. Something tells me he’s nothing to worry about, but I also want him to get off the planet as soon as possible.” “So you’re not as naïve as we thought, are you father?” Gohan chuckled. “Nah Gohan. I expect nothing but hospitality from Pourri, but I know that the best thing we can do right now is get him far away from here and, if he’s planning something sinister, find his leaders and do something about them.” “Expect him to be planning something sinister, Goku.” Piccolo responded. “I don’t know what to expect guys. Truth is I just want to find out more about Planet Vegeta.” “But why father?” Gohan wondered. “I don’t know Gohan. I need to know if Saiyans are as scummy as I think they are. I need to find out if Vegeta and I are the only half-decent pure-blooded guys.” “I don’t think you’ll like what you discover, Goku.” Piccolo retorted, ever-so-cynical. “We’ll see.” * They arrived at Pourri’s ship within an hour. Pourri was waiting outside the entrance, his arms folded and his mouth displaying his famous smirk. “Good to see you Kakarot. I see Vegeta didn’t come after all.” Suddenly, Pourri’s smirk folded and his face took on a more serious expression. “I didn’t expect you’d be bringing visitors.” “Well, Gohan’s a Saiyan as well and Piccolo hangs with the guardians of the Earth. You should be honored he wanted to come!” Goku laughed nervously. Pourri’s serious expression unfolded back into a charming smile. “They may come with us if you insist. Now come aboard.” Pourri stepped to the side and held out his hand, yielding to his guests. The three Z-Fighters walked into the dome-like ship, Goku looking curious while Gohan and Piccolo remained skeptical. The door shut behind them after Pourri followed, and he led them down a blue hallway sprinkled with lights and a maroon carpet guiding them to the control room. The spacecraft was massive – at least twice as big as the ship Frieza traveled on – and its grandeur overwhelmed even Piccolo, a being usually unfazed by machinery. Inside the control room, there were fifteen seats. Twelve of the seats were occupied by Saiyan workers, their tails hanging by their feet. They were stationed along a long control panel which stretched around the outside of the circular room. There were no walls; only glass. “Take a seat!” Pourri offered the Z-Fighters three empty chairs in the center of the station. They accepted his gift; Pourri did not sit down. “Now that you’re settled, crew, depart for Languora!” Each of the Z-Fighters turned and looked at eachother having never heard of such a planet. Within seconds, the ship had exited the atmosphere and blasted off into space. “Say, Pourri, how long does it take to get to Languora?” Goku asked. “At the rate we’re traveling, I’d say…” His eyes wandered to the ceiling and he raised his fingers to his chin. Stroking his goatee, he pondered his answer. “One year.”



BattleMetal	Jun 20 2009, 09:51 AM Post #10
Posts: 596 Group: Member Member #3,821 Joined: November 24, 2008	Goku the most powerful warrior in the known universe humbled by a human woman, his wife, the monstrous Chi-Chi! Hahaha the ending of chapter 5 was really funny too. I kept thinking about Gokus reaction to Chi-Chii, when he said Gohan would compete during the Cell Games, shes freaking out. Goku is just being casual then saying 'Your crazy' before casualy backhanding her through the house wall into a tree outside. He forgets his own strength :D. Still how you made Goku react, wanting to be dead or somewhere else was amusing. Thats what i do. I type up on Word at home, read it over and edit it then post it. Im often a few chapters ahead of what people read here. My fan fic doesnt feature any of the Z warriors (yet) as its based after the destruction of Planet Vegeta but before the Saiyan saga. It follows a group of Saiyans that survives Vegetas destruction and are living on an alien world (wont say more than that just now ). Doesnt change events in the Z verse just adds to it and will allow me to set up things for what happens during my Sagas after Z Buu Saga (i know what will happen later on but this is like a prologue part). I think i speak for everyone who reads this on the 'its simple' comment, they are not in the negative its defo in a positive way as its easy to read, understand and strangely allows the reader a clear image of whats going on. Edited by BattleMetal, Jun 20 2009, 09:54 AM.
	http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8040430/1/ Link to my DBZ fan-fic tale: Saiyans, Frieza, the Ginyu Force and other alien races and beings all chucked into the soup-pot for all out action and glory! http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8129945/1/#new Link to a DBZ inspired story/ battle scenario that i did when i was 16 http://dbzf.co.uk/topic/8071554/1/#new Link to the Marvel/DC tale of the super-powered hereos and villians of both verses. Biggest heavy-hitters square off in an almight-free-for-all brawl!


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