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| Improving Self Confidence | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 25 2008, 03:25 PM (1,067 Views) | |
| Pookie | Sep 25 2008, 03:25 PM Post #1 |
Pookie Powa!
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What are ways for someone to improve self confidence? How is your self confidence? Why is it that way? Lets have an intelligent conversation about this topic. |
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| Meowth | Sep 25 2008, 04:09 PM Post #2 |
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There are ways people can improve self-confidence, one would be to force themself into doing things, which obviously isn't easy if your confidence is pretty low. Another is to gradually build up confidence through friends till you can build yourself up to do things, takes longer than forcing yourself but I believe psycologically, that is going to be much better. You could also do something that is like brainwashing you to believe you are more self-confident and out going (See Landmark Eduction) but then that has a negative inpact on the people around you, you can start to lose friends or it can cause harm to your mental health because of what programs like that involve. My self-confidence sucks, lol, I was fine up until secondary school, then it all really went downhill for me, before that in primary school and previous, I felt able to do almost anything and I enjoyed trying things. I mean, after leaving secondary school, I have started to think my self-confidence has gotten better. Not that many people actually know how I feel, I mean as far as people see me I come across as shy, it's not who I want to be, I would much rather be outgoing, but I always think of what other people might be thinking when I do something or the negative effects it will have. Makes me regret not doing things, lol. |
 
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| + Byakko | Sep 25 2008, 04:19 PM Post #3 |
I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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I've never had a high level of self confidence. But I feel that since I have surrounded myself with my good friends, others I care about and picked up and advanced pretty well on the guitar that my confidence in myself has increased a thousand times over from what it was 3 years ago when I joined the forum. Challenging myself to do things I normally wouldn't do has helped too. I've played infront of 150 - 200 people - most I've never met. Has increased confidence in my abilities as a guitarist and as a person. And I've played infront of people who won't be kind and tell my they thought that I was good even if I sucked. All of them family. I know people who seem to have total confidence in everything they do. And I don't want that. Nor do I think I'll ever have it. I am content with how much confidence I have with myself now. Because I know I can do things. Even if I don't want to |
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt  Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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| Meowth | Sep 25 2008, 04:25 PM Post #4 |
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Oh I'd love to have the kind of confidence some people have, to think I have done something well would be a good feeling, no matter how many people tell me what I've done is good, I can't accept it is. But then, is that self-confidence or something else? |
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| Rockman | Sep 25 2008, 05:17 PM Post #5 |
hoighty-toighty
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That's called being modest. Some people have a problem not being modest. You and I are those people. I've always had a ton of self confidence. It's very difficult to do things without thinking about what others think of what you are doing. In all situations this happens. If you forget about how others view you and just do it, everything might fall into place. But that's also the recipe for being a serial killer. Everyone has some degree of low self confidence. I don't have low self confidence when it comes to talking to people, I just really hate people. It takes a lot for someone to work up a complete, (unending), friendship with me. I give speeches well. I am motivated to do things new. But I don't usually go out of my way to talk to others. I am good at this because I simply practiced. I practiced not caring what other people think about me. I'm not scared to walk in to a church full of people and tell them they are wrong. I'm not scared to tell the person sitting next to me in a group of people, who I think the next president should be. I'll hold up a sign saying I'm homosexual, even if I'm not. Because I simply do not care what others think. I don't even usually care what my girlfriend thinks. The way I see it, if she continues to be my girlfriend based on the fact that I am completely original and do not let social pressures sway me, then she was meant to be my girlfriend. I have enough confidence in myself to know who I am, and not become the Pokemon Named Ditto. |
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| * Itagaki Manabu | Sep 25 2008, 06:02 PM Post #6 |
 
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Im really confident but not when I meet new people, If you force some conversation, It helps. |
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| * -Zero- | Sep 26 2008, 12:13 AM Post #7 |
Black Knight
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Well Im sorry I haven't gotten to reading all the posts yet, I intend to do that when I am less tired. My self confidece is completely terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE. Like I'll use my girl situation as an example, I think all the girls are too good for me, so I always never end up going after the girl I like. Never ask a girl out, I have very low self confidence which also brings down my self esteem. I really hope I can find a way to work on my self confidence cause it's really ruining my social life, not to mention making me depressed. Now I rarely ever talk about myself, but it is a topic and it is supposed to be intelligent posts. As for when I lost it, over time in school |
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| Strawberry | Sep 26 2008, 02:18 AM Post #8 |
Chiaroscuro ♥
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I think it's all about knowing yourself, learning how you act and react towards different situations, and exploring your personality the best way possible. It's important to have goals in your life that you can achieve that will make you feel fulfilled, happy, and confident. Sometimes people get depressed thinking about how their lives are not perfect. But guess what, nobody has the perfect life, so eventually you should learn how to like the little things about your own life, and make them even more special by starting to love them, to get excited everytime you talk about them. That's the true beauty of living, finding what makes you happy, and holding on to it. We've talked several times about self confidence over msn. And you know that I know you can improve it greatly. I've always been very self confident because I tend to surround myself by the people that I love and make me feel comfortable. It's important to be around people that allow you to be who you really are and won't judge you because of that.  Of course you'll always have to take some risks in your life, and even if you don't feel enough confident at first to take them, just close your eyes for a second and go ahead anyway. Most of the times you don't regret doing what you were afraid of doing before knowing what things really are about. |
  ♪ ♥ ♫ Across The Universe
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Sep 26 2008, 11:39 PM Post #9 |
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That's pretty rude you don't care what your girlfriend thinks Kotetsu! Anyway, I think one of the most important things to self confidence is acceptance of yourself. You have to accept who you are before you can portray self confidence to others. Once you do that, it comes easily. I think I have pretty high self confidence, but I didn't always. As I've gotten older, I've learned to be who I am and I've been more confident. Edited by nomnomliekdis, Sep 26 2008, 11:39 PM.
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| * brit :) | Sep 27 2008, 12:34 AM Post #10 |
boomboompow.
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I don't think he meant that in a bad way. It's just like...if she thinks something negative so what? You knew what you were getting into when we started this relationship, so take the good with the bad, ya know? You probably knew that...lolol. My self confidence is... Well. It isn't high, but it isn't low either. It's weird because people usually think I should be this arrogant, overly confident fool just because of my looks. No. I'm always worrying if I'm coming across as too weird to somebody, or boring because I might not say alot as the next person, or etc. I worry over things I shouldn't worry about. My self confidence has really improved though. I owe this to my friends mainly, due to how caring they are (even if they don't like to admit it). If it wasn't for them, it'd probably be just like it was when I entered high school. Very very low. It's all about the people you surround yourself with.That's why I usually try to surround myself around positive people, due to the fact that negative people only bring you down and nothing else. |
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dART chaleureuse. chic. createuse. douce. leave me something nice. | |
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Sep 27 2008, 04:03 PM Post #11 |
~Out on the Tiles~
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Confidence is the belief or the knowledge that you can enter a situation and come out the other side, whether triumphant, or just barely alive. So, the best way to build confidence is get out there and do things in the world. Practice builds competence and skill, and also allows one to develop self-knowledge about one's limits (and sometimes, the lack thereof). My freshman year of college, I made a promise to myself that this was going to be the year of getting out there. I was not going to allow myself to say "No" to ripe opportunities. I got a part in a play, I was active in a number of campus clubs, and I went on several outdoor trips. "Diving in" often felt scary or inconvenient at first, but in almost every case, it paid off big time in the end. Granted, you won't succeed at everything you try. If you play guitar in clubs and coffee shops, one night, the audience might boo you, or talk over you. But, you can choose to see mistakes as learning experiences, and as confirmation that defeats and setbacks like these aren't the end of the world. And here's another tip: don't be so quick to compare your insides with somebody else's outsides. There are lot of people in the world who are "faking it." You'd be surprised by how many cool cucumbers secretly struggle with their own fears and worries. |
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| Raven | Oct 25 2008, 10:48 PM Post #12 |
Science Experiment
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Gah. I seem to get paranoid and jealous a lot of the time, so I guess I've got pretty low self-esteem and am pretty insecure. But I can't stop, and it's starting to really get on my nerves. I need to fix it somehow, but just not sure how to shove my foot up its arse. I know it's got to really be getting on my fiancee's nerves, too. Even if she doesn't really show it. I mean... it has to... but anyway, low self-esteem is basically the cause for jealousy, right? |
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"You don't need to prove anything to anyone except yourself." - Me, Myself, & I | |
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| * brit :) | Oct 25 2008, 11:27 PM Post #13 |
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boomboompow.
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I'm going through the same thing. Jealousy really can agitate a person GREATLY. I'm learning that through self experience. I'm also learning that it can potentially damage a friendship beyond repair if it isn't controlled or caught in time. My cure was just putting up a wall period. None of my feelings get out, no one else gets in. Its the only thing you can do, because honestly, it takes alot to get over jealousy. |
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dART chaleureuse. chic. createuse. douce. leave me something nice. | |
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| Larxene | Oct 25 2008, 11:40 PM Post #14 |
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It took me a while to admit it, but my friends convinced me that I do have some major self-confidence issues. Sometimes I care a little too much about my hair, make-up, clothes, etc and I guess I do need to stop worrying about my looks so much(my doctor is now insisting that I gain some weight now because I've lost too much). I just keep asking myself, why does it matter so much what a bunch of strangers think? My real friends/boyfriend will like me for who I am, they don't care what my clothes are like or if my hair looks perfect. One of my friends told me to take a sport, because apparently it gives girls a lot of confidence, so I've started taking karate classes. I've also had to deal with some strict teachers who give out very harsh critiques. I did my best not to get fed up or upset about it and focused all my energy on improving the areas they told me I needed to work on and I'm glad I did, I aced those classes and my teacher gave me a lot of praise for my final project. Feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere, there are people in the world who have to deal with much more difficult situations. Focus on what you do have, not what your missing. |
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| Raven | Oct 26 2008, 04:06 AM Post #15 |
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Science Experiment
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Thing is, for me I'm a really clingy person. I always attach myself to whoever I can because it always feels like everyone ignores me. I don't think I could put up a defensive wall like that. I guess I might have to just try my hand at tackling the problem... and see how that goes... And having friends must be really cool, Bulla. I myself don't really have any, except maybe 1 or 2. Never really have. |
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"You don't need to prove anything to anyone except yourself." - Me, Myself, & I | |
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