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I just have to get this out!; plz god kill me.......
Topic Started: Feb 8 2005, 09:30 AM (709 Views)
Crying Devil
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Dans l'amour avec mon ange foncé

... okay so my girl friend has been cheating on me... I know this cuz it was with my friend, and he fessed up... thing is, it's been going on for like 3 months now (we've been dating for 7-8 months) I haven't told her that I know, and I told my frinds that he shouldn't let her know that I know (he agreed to stop messing around with her) and I know he did cuz now "all of a sudden" she starts talking crap about him... so I'm satisfied... thing is I love her (I think), and I'm trying to forgive her.... but everytime we hang out all I can think about is what she did... we go see a movie... she holds my arm, and all I can think about is her and my friend... it's driving me insane!

But the worse thing is WHY? why did she cheat on me? I try to treat her like a queen! sure we fight (who dosen't) but I never say hurtful things and I always say I'm sorry even if it was her fault just to stop fighting, I give her respect and all my heart! yet she just throws it against the wall!

I wish I could forget... I wish i never knew!!! I wish I were dead! This is horrible... right now I'm looking at her (she's asleep) and my heart feels like it's torn apart! Part of me tells me to get over it, she had a fling and now it's over... but the other half can't ignore the obvious, that somehow I failed her, that I wasn't enough and she had to find companey with my friend! What did I do wrong? why did she do this? Will she do it again? I have no idea what is going on!!!!! I wish I could forgive her, I wish I could just hold her and not wonder why I'm not good enough... god this is horrible! What the hell do I do? I know I should break up with her but I feel like that wouldn't be right! Like somehow it's my fault...

I know this is just my whinning, and that I should get over it, but I just HAD to get this all out, and you guys are like a type of family, so I felt comfertable letting this out here... thanks for listening...
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Rockman
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hoighty-toighty

Well, psychologically, this situation suggests that she is looking for something you are not giving her. My question is, how much time does she spend on the computer and video games, comparitive to you? Logically, this explains that if you spend alot of time on the internet, and she does not, that the reason may lie with in your own habits.

I suggest you stand back, look at yourself, and ask yourself; what am i doing to make her feel this way? Why does she feel this way? What can i do to change myself in order to keep this relationship.

In fact, you may even want to go as far as asking her one simple question.
What can I do for you, in order to make our relationship better than it already is.

This question not only has the ideology, that your relationship in your eyes is perfect, but also suggests that you know nothing about what she did, and this in turn will make her think, Awww, he does care about me!

Believe me, if you be upfront with her about your emotions and talk through things with her.... WITHOUT BRINGING UP WHAT HAPPENED! not only will it make you feel better, but it will bring you 2 closer.

I speak out of empathy, so please do it for me. :-D
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Crying Devil
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Dans l'amour avec mon ange foncé

yeah, after alot of thought I think you are right.... but right now I just can't be around her.... I asked her if we can take a break "to see what we both want" after a while if she still wants to be with me after some freedom then I'll know we are right...

she didn't really take it well (she was sad, not angery) but I think she agrees with me, I need to know that she really wants to be with me, not just staying with me out of convience or something... either way we agreed to stay friends... no matter what we (she) decides
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* Kabonkers
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D-Wade jumps high, like kabonkers!

good luck crying! let us know how it goes! (if you are comfortable with it)
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Crying Devil
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Dans l'amour avec mon ange foncé

yeah k, I don't have much modesty.... so I'll post any breaking developments ^_^
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Slade
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Dude, look at what she's doing to you, by the sounds of it you love her with all your heart, and she treats you liek a joke, look at it this way, if she loves you, why would she cheat on you??? exactly, why? because she cant love you as much as you think, trust me, lose her, find someone who will respect youi as a person
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"There is no right or wrong. Just the consequences of your actions"
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Crying Devil
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Dans l'amour avec mon ange foncé

<sigh> yeah, you sound like all my friends..... they been giving the same advise, and I do love her... a lot... but the break we'er on I hope can clear this mess up.... I still haven't told her that "I know" but if we get back together I'm gonna take Dark Gambits excuse.... and keep more an eye on her
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Rockman
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hoighty-toighty

Dark Slade
Feb 10 2005, 08:42 AM
Dude, look at what she's doing to you, by the sounds of it you love her with all your heart, and she treats you liek a joke, look at it this way, if she loves you, why would she cheat on you??? exactly, why? because she cant love you as much as you think, trust me, lose her, find someone who will respect youi as a person

Pessimistic views and relationships do not go well together. I dont know what your age is, but psychology, Communication, and sociology disagree with you on so many levels. Im sorry to say it but thats not how relationships work. If the person has any ounce of intelligence, theyll be able to talk through things like a mature decent human. Do not assume she is like that, simply because you've never met her.
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Punxx
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Rock The Casbah

Wow Dark Gambit's advice is always sharp.
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Monita
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If here, probably should be sleeping <_<

I feel very ill equipted to give advise on this......so I'm not, but I couldn't let this go with out expressing my sentimate. I hope what ever desicions you both make it works out for your mutual best.
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Crying Devil
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Dans l'amour avec mon ange foncé

thanks everyone
and Gambit's advise it spot on...
so far we really haven't spoke, just a few chats on AIM...
so no real developments yet
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