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Dreillos: Lord of the Planet of the Crocodiles
Topic Started: Mar 3 2018, 03:19 AM (704 Views)
Darker
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The Lord of the Dark

This fic ties into the Dragon Ball Roleplaying thread. You should probably read the first 37 pages. There will be a quick recap of sorts in the story anyway, for those of you who don’t want to go through that many pages.

Though keep in mind this is an alternate universe, slightly deviating from the current storyline where all the heroes that were stuck on Namek with Freeza are now all dead, and the Dragon Balls are gone.

I'll be adding chapters whenever I have the time to do so.


Dreillos - Lord of the Planet of the Crocodiles

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Prologue & Recap
Chapter 1 - A Cold Journey
Chapter 2 - An Appointment with the Doctor
Chapter 3 - Going Back
Chapter 4 - Memories
Chapter 5 - Peace
Edited by Darker, Mar 19 2018, 01:40 PM.
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Darker
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The Lord of the Dark

Chapter 6 - Surprise
Chapter 7 - Lost Trust
Chapter 8 - And So It Begins...
Chapter 9 - Resistance is Futile
Chapter 10 - A Worthy Contender?
Edited by Darker, Mar 28 2018, 09:24 AM.
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Royal Guard.

Pretty good so far, I like it.
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Nyah
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Darker
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The Lord of the Dark

Chapter 11 - A Mental and Physical Struggle
Chapter 12 - A Truce?
Chapter 13 - Home
Chapter 14 - Pecking Order
Chapter 15 - Storytime
Edited by Darker, Apr 2 2018, 05:16 AM.
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Dankness Lava
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Dankness Forever

Aw man, I was hoping Crymson would put up more of a fight than that :(
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Darker
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The Lord of the Dark

Chapter 16 - The Arrival
Chapter 17 - Prepared
Chapter 18 - Powerless
Chapter 19 - Wrong
Chapter 20 - Recovery
Edited by Darker, Apr 29 2018, 06:27 AM.
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Royal Guard.

Alright, thoughts so far:


I'm enjoying Dreillios, and his fast descent to villainy, lol. And the bit with Dreillios and Crymson in chapter 19 was great, really hammers home how unbelievably f***ed Crymson and humanity is. But, minor nit pick, why is it impossible for Crymson to reach Dreillios's tier of power when Android 18 and 17 both effortlessly surpasses Freeza's full power by a sizeable degree? However, unfortunately for this review, it's going to be more negative than positive, and it's going to be focusing on Freeza.

Now, the problem with Freeza is how the story had been treating him so far. Over the course of these past chapters he's been built up as this monster, the one who killed all the heroes on Namek, a monster, a looming shadow over Earth, and all the characters on it were hurriedly preparing for his arrival. The entire time it was if the story was leading up to something big with this Freeza plot point, but it wasn't. Freeza was casually lol stomped by Dreillios in less than a quarter of a chapter, revealed to be alive in the next chapter, only to be promptly, and unceremoniously killed by his older brother. The story pretty much undercut a big plot point, and substituted it with a different one, with no real build up, or explanation.

It felt off and sloppy.
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Nyah
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Darker
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The Lord of the Dark

Chapter 21 - Whole New World
Chapter 22 - Flawed Revenge
Chapter 23 - The Cooler Tyrant?
Chapter 24 - A New Beginning
Edited by Darker, Jun 3 2018, 06:40 AM.
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Royal Guard.

This latest chapter feels like the finale.
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Darker
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The Lord of the Dark

Chapter 25 - Hope?
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