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| Trans question | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 1 2017, 09:15 PM (3,199 Views) | |
| + Ssj3vegito96 | Jun 1 2017, 09:15 PM Post #1 |
 
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Let's say someone is born a male. They do a sex change surgery and take hormone treatment. Idk that much stuff about this so correct me if I'm wrong but they're still technically a guy aren't they? Basically a guy with such feminine features that they look like a woman and they have a vagina made from their penis. Prostate glands and other sex organs and chromosomes and all that stuff is different. Hormone treatments don't change that stuff because they only cause secondary sex traits So here's a scenario. If a guy meets someone like this, who identifies as a girl, has had the hormone treatment and surgery, can you fault the guy for saying he won't date or have sex with them? If I'm wrong about that stuff I said earlier about them still technically being a guy, then what do you think? Is it still "bad" of them to not want to be with them since they were born male? Not trying to offend anyone with this thread and my limited knowledge. I've just come across this discussion a couple times and was curious what you think |
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| * Mitas | Jun 1 2017, 09:40 PM Post #2 |
It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I don't think you can fault somebody for not wanting to date a trans person. It's their prerogative to do so since it's all about attraction: if the idea of a trans person isn't attractive to you, then you can't be attracted to them. It's different than a friendship. I think the whole 'they're technically still a guy' thing is a little...moot, I guess. I mean, yeah, technically they are still biologically a guy/girl after the sex change (although I think there's some evidence scientifically that there are aspects of their physiology e.g. hormones, brain patterns etc, that are their desired sex), but it ultimately comes down to whether you personally view that person as the sex they want to be. If you hang on to the idea that they're technically still their birth sex, it's because you ultimately see them as that, and not their desired sex. |
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| + Steve | Jun 1 2017, 09:44 PM Post #3 |
Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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I wouldn't say so, so long as they're polite about it and aren't all "Ew, get away!" Personally I'd feel a bit weird about it but beyond that a definite no just since I couldn't have children with them, without alternative and awkward means. Physical attraction is just important initially as emotional, a lot of things can put someone off and a transsexual is definitely pretty out there for most people. It'd be weird to take it in stride considering how uncommon it is in most areas. |
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| + Emmeth | Jun 1 2017, 10:27 PM Post #4 |
I ♥ Yoeri
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As long as the transsexual person doesn't lie about it, I don't see a problem. If He/She is self-aware and knows it's more difficult to find someone based on their choice, they'd probably try to find someone who was actually okay with it. I think it's unfair, even if you identify as your preferred gender, to leave out details of your past. |
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| NinjaSushiCreative | Jun 2 2017, 11:19 AM Post #5 |
 
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Whatever gender someone identifies as is the gender they are. They aren't 'technically' still this or that, they are their gender. Basic rule of thumb: - Gender is how you present and identify - Sex is what you were assigned at birth depending on the thing between your legs As for the other thing, it depends on the situation really. I've found that people have not known that I'm trans (It's not exactly their bussiness to know and I'm not exactly just going to announce it to people when I meet them in a club) and been attracted to me, and when they find out for whatever reason get confused because it's "but you're a girl really? am i still attracted to you?". If someone would rather not date a transperson, I wouldn't fault them for that. We come with a lot of mental health issues for obvious reasons and life becomes a fight so it would be easier not to date a trans person. Alot of how people are/aren't attracted to transpeople has a lot to do with how it's portrayed and dealt with in the media. Take tailand for example and the trend of 'ladyboys' and how common it is to joke about. If a man is dating a transwomanin tailand someone is likely to call them gay right? I was actually having a similar discussion with Sam about this recently when he found out about me being trans (apparently I hadn't told him. Oopsie.) and he mentioned that not knowing I was trans let him make an opinion about me from the viewpoint that I was biologically born a man and it's helped in open up how he views transpeople. I'm telling you this though, you probably known or have interacted with a lot more trans people than you actually think you do as most of the time you won't know that they're trans and I think think that helps you form an opinion before any assumptions are based upon them being trans. Edited by NinjaSushiCreative, Jun 2 2017, 11:24 AM.
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| Rockman | Jun 15 2017, 12:27 AM Post #6 |
hoighty-toighty
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Trans or not, no one person is ever obligated to date, have sex with, or be attracted to anyone for any reason. Ever. Nor is it "bad" of them for choosing otherwise. At the end of the day, you get to choose your partner in life. What you want from that person is 100% up to you and has nothing to do with the opposite's life style. If you don't mind being with someone who is post-op Trans, then by all means, be with someone who is. What is "bad", is when you judge others for being interested in such. You have no right to judge anyone's lifestyle or preferences. |
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| + Ginyu | Jun 18 2017, 12:23 PM Post #7 |
Leve Feyenoord 1!
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You can't blame someone for their sexual attraction. If trans people blame you for not wanting to date trans people then it's just like you blame them for not wanting to be the gender that matches their sex. You can't help it, they can't help it. It's the same reason why not being attracted to certain races is not racist, unlike popular believe these days. |
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| Chiaotzu-Puar | Jun 29 2017, 10:02 AM Post #8 |
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Yours first question: It's very debatable whether she is still 'technically a guy' as you put it. It really does depend on your perspective. She definitely still has the muscles and bone structure of a man but not the genital organs, most secondary sexual characteristics, and gender role in society (and this one IS important). Second question: You can't fault him if he genuinely doesn't find trans women attractive. You can fault him though if he wouldn't consider dating her purely because of all the hang-ups and prejudices that he inherited from growing up in a transphobic and ignorant-of-this-topic culture like ours. I know it's not easy to overcome the prejudices and hatreds that you grow up with (I'm certain I have many myself) but we should try...just like we have to try and do the good thing and not the bad thing when it comes to anything else. Edited by Chiaotzu-Puar, Jun 29 2017, 10:05 AM.
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Jun 29 2017, 01:31 PM Post #9 |
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There seem to be two questions here. Firstly, is the transperson still a guy? Technically, the chromosomes would still be XY, so yes, from a scientific standpoint they are still biologically male; however, sex changes from male to female are widely successful nowadays, to the point that it can be extremely difficult to tell that this person was once a male. Physically, she would be a woman--only the chromosomes would point to her being a male. Secondly, would it be wrong in some way to deny a transperson a relationship or sex based solely upon the fact that they are trans? No, I don't think that's wrong. Sexual preference plays a huge role in who we choose as our partner. Do I think that a transperson must reveal to their partner that they are trans? No, not necessarily, but it depends on the context of the relationship. If it's just a one night stand or something, I don't think that the transwoman should feel obligated to disclose that information. You should realize going into a sexual encounter like that that you do not know the other person. That's the entire point of a one night stand. You could be banging a sex addict, a crazy bible-thumper, or even a rapist and never know the difference. If you're going to take the risk of having a one night stand, you're also taking the risk of having sex with a transperson or any other number of things. However, if you want a serious relationship with that person, you should definitely disclose early on that you are trans. Obviously this is difficult since transwomen are beaten and even killed for revealing that information, but it's an important tidbit of info if you plan on forming a serious relationship with someone. People who go for years dating someone without revealing that information are just wasting their partner's time if they haven't consented to that kind of relationship. In the case of a woman transitioning into a man, it's an entirely different argument since sex reassignment surgery for transmen isn't as successful. |
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| Strawberry | Aug 8 2017, 05:59 PM Post #10 |
Chiaroscuro ♥
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I will post here later when I have the time, I just wanted to move this thread to Deep Discussion first in light of a very insensitive post that was left here (and since removed) to remind everybody that -- like the OP appropriately noted -- this is indeed a sensitive topic that requires a minimum of social tact and consideration. So if you're going to voice your opinion please be respectful and try to elaborate it. Thanks. |
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| + Saiyan Paladin | Aug 9 2017, 03:33 AM Post #11 |
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You're fully entitled to have your own sexual preferences, that's a part of having free will, including not being attracted to transgenders. Anyone telling you otherwise is most likely a far-right or far-left nut that's succumb to blindness from their own ideals. Edited by Saiyan Paladin, Aug 9 2017, 03:34 AM.
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| Tinny | Aug 9 2017, 10:32 PM Post #12 |
 
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They are a woman, maybe a male, but still a woman. A transwoman specifically, but a woman in any case, to be addressed with feminine words (at least if you're being polite anyway). As for faulting a person for not dating them specifically because of that, I'd say it's much like if you didn't date someone because they didn't like to take head, or they ate broccoli, it's not wrong by any means, it's preference (so long as there isn't some huge episode about freaking out because they're male/female), I'd say the same of race, religion, political affiliation, and more. I guess to add something else to the conversation, do you think a woman/man is required to reveal if they were born a male/female or not? I would arguably say that while they should be willing to reveal that, I'm not sure if they have any duty or right to give that information out without being asked, and that it's something the prospective lover should bother to figure out if they care about it. |
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| + Steve | Aug 10 2017, 07:35 AM Post #13 |
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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On this side of things I would say yes, absolutely. Hiding it until the last moment is very dishonest and unfair, trying to trap someone in a relationship with you then dropping something serious on that isn't a nice thing to do. I wouldn't be a fan of it, if not just because they most likely wouldn't be able to have a child and that's something I care about a lot in a relationship. Is there any reason to be embarrassed about it when you've lived your life as the wrong gender/sex for years and finally broke free? That seems pointless to me. Obviously there's stigma around it but if you lay everything on the floor then you filter out everyone who doesn't have an open mind. It's also kind of dangerous since people can get very angry about it, imagine a severe homophobe finds out that woman he kissed was previously a male. |
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
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| * Mitas | Aug 10 2017, 08:42 AM Post #14 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I don't think that people should have to disclose something like that within the first date, but if it develops into multiple dates then I think it's something that should definitely be told to the other party involved. I know it's not exactly the same, but I feel the same way about mental health issues too (including my own). Obviously starting a conversation with 'Hi, I'm Dan and I have this' isn't the route to go, but it's something that has an effect on a relationship and needs to be discussed. The only reason to not disclose it would be because you'd be scared they'd reject you once they were told and really, why would you want to be with somebody who would do that in the first place? |
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| NinjaSushiCreative | Aug 10 2017, 08:49 AM Post #15 |
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I keep trying to write some long a*** post to put in here about my personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences but it's not proving difficult. But I personally will always tell my partner that I'm trans, but I won't always tell friends. There's a lot of stigma behind being trans that people attach to you the second they find out and that's not always a fun position to be in. |
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