- Dragon Ball Z Forum
- →
- The Lounge
- →
- Deep Discussion
- →
- Should people be vilified for not being accepting of something?
| We hope you enjoy your visit to this forum. If you are reading this then it means you are currently browsing the forum as a guest, we don’t limit any of the content posted from guests however if you join, you will have the ability to join the discussions! We are always happy to see new faces at this forum and we would like to hear your opinion, so why not register now? It doesn’t take long and you can get posting right away. Click here to Register! If you are having difficulties validating your account please email us at admin@dbzf.co.uk If you're already a member please log in to your account: |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Should people be vilified for not being accepting of something? | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 30 2017, 05:15 PM (811 Views) | |
| * Mitas | Apr 30 2017, 05:15 PM Post #1 |
It truly was a Shawshank redemption
|
Without going into the details, one of my family members digressed something about themselves that people generally have a hard time accepting, or are shocked to hear. Now, I'm generally an accepting person: I freely admit that I often don't understand certain things, but I accept people's right to be the person they want to be (or rather, the person they are). However, there's clearly a difference between me having that viewpoint about people I either don't know, or aren't that close to, and people I have a strong relationship with because my initial reaction wasn't 'oh, that's great' and more like 'oh, are you sure?' and internally not believing that to be the case. Now, I assume that that's mainly down to shock and that after adjusting to the new situation, I'll be more accepting of it. The reason I made this topic (and I'm using myself, but this is more a question about people in general) is: what if I don't adjust? What if there's something in the way I am that won't be able to accept that because it just won't compute? It wouldn't be that I wouldn't want to, it would be that I can't. If that was the case then the general attitude is that I'd be a bad person, but how would that be fair if despite wanting to understand, I just couldn't? Or is that just how you would define a bad person, regardless of intent? |
 "Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
 |
 
|
| DSXIII | Apr 30 2017, 07:16 PM Post #2 |
 
|
I don't think failing to accept something makes someone a bad person. Do I think one should be vilified for that? No, but it does happen. We live in a world where a majority of people think that everyone needs to get along, but it's unrealistic. Example, would you be accepting of a 40 year old man who self identifies as a 12 year old? Maybe, but now consider this. He wants to date your 12 year old daughter. Would one still accept? I sure as f*** wouldn't. |
| |
|
|
|
| + Steve | Apr 30 2017, 10:01 PM Post #3 |
Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
|
Absolutely not, so long as you don't try to get in their way or infringe upon their personal rights depending on the thing. There are many situations where it's pretty understandable but perhaps not exactly good. It's pretty easy to say how everyone should feel when you're accepting of everything and can't put yourself in the mind of someone who doesn't feel that way. Feelings are stubborn and are rarely governed by logic so it's pretty stupid to try dictate how people should feel even if you're not exactly wrong, trying to make people feel like an a***** for their brain being trained a certain way is stupid. If someone fell off a motorbike as a kid and came to hate them and fear them as super dangerous machines, you can say they're stupid and give them all the facts in the world about how irrational they're being but that won't change how they feel. Same deal here. You can't just flick a switch and accept something because other people's feelings demand it. Exposure is the only real way to change your mind if that's the idea. And if not the best you can do is just state that you're not willing to support it if asked, assuming it's not something you need to get in their face about. Obviously if it's something truly harmful/stupid like they're trying to join ISIS or sell all their belongings to travel you should speak your mind. |
 Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
|
|
|
| EMIYA | Apr 30 2017, 10:33 PM Post #4 |
"I am the bone of my sword."
|
I think you should be vilified for trying to hinder something that doesn't hurt you. It's like Gay Marriage. If you don't like Gay Marriage, you don't have to stand there and say I support it or anything. You don't have to relent on your ideology. The personal feelings you may have don't have to change. However, you keep that to yourself. Because Gay Marriage isn't doing anything wrong. The most it hurts is somebody's poor little ego and that's not enough to allow hindrance of something you don't like. I don't know what the issue with the family member is but I assume its something like above. I assume its something that may a bit shocking but probably harmless. It's not hurting you, it's not hurting the rest of the family, or society. You'll quickly get over the shock value and it won't even register next time. If it happens to be something illegal, or something that truly does hurt them others, than actually talking to them about it would be advised. |
|
|
|
| Dankness Lava | Apr 30 2017, 11:13 PM Post #5 |
Dankness Forever
|
I don't think this is actually what he was asking. |
| |
|
|
|
| EMIYA | Apr 30 2017, 11:32 PM Post #6 |
|
"I am the bone of my sword."
|
He's asking if you should be vilified for not not being able to accept something because of some issue. Saying that he may not be able to properly even compute the ideology in his head. The simple answer is, nobody forces you to accept anything. It's when you actively try to hinder it that it starts becoming a problem. See, what I don't understand is what he means by not being able to compute it. People won't accept something a lot of times because they don't want to. They fail to have an open mind or properly educate themselves on the subject. This is why through each generation, progress usually gets better and better. We start accepting things more because we're more educated and we realize those issues we thought we had, weren't really much of an issue. If you can't adjust, that will probably end up as a problem. Society changes, progress goes on and if you can't adapt to progress, you'll end up stuck in the past withering away. |
|
|
|
| + Steve | Apr 30 2017, 11:49 PM Post #7 |
|
Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
|
I'd imagine it's just something he can't see any logical reasoning to, like if someone is opting to follow a pretty backwards religion or is doing something a bit out there like polyamory. Like for the latter you could try tell yourself that it's fine and they can have sex with as many and whoever they want but you couldn't make yourself feel like it isn't disgusting/wrong to your own view, if you're pretty strong on committal in marriage for instance. As said exposure is probably the best thing. Someone who's racist their whole lives isn't going to not be racist by reading about the object of their hate, they get over it by talking to the people and realizing "Hey, they're just people" I'm not sure it's definitely possible to remain 100% against something unless that something just defies your logical view. Like for me I'll never really "Get" why people opt to follow religions that hold back and restrict them. It's not something my mind would ever really consider and nothing well ever convince me other options aren't better no matter how much exposure is involved. |
|
Definitely not a succubus, fear not | |
|
|
|
| EMIYA | Apr 30 2017, 11:58 PM Post #8 |
|
"I am the bone of my sword."
|
See, let's take something like this. Let' say its an ideology that doesn't make sense to you. For example I have to wonder why people have conspiracy theories. I see no reasoning behind them, they sound not only absurd but also have no basis in logic, reasoning or education. A pretty good one is a cult. You hear about a group that kills themselves because they think a new form of life will take them away from their mortal bodies. You as a person are left wondering, why would these people believe in something that seems so insane that they would end their lives for it? But then you might read deeper into the issues of cults and mental illness. You might see how people can become addicted or attached to something if they feel it brings them some meaning. The same issue came with Germany after the end of World War II. People were shocked that a first world country could devolved into committing one of the worst acts of genocide in modern history. You delve deeper into the subject and you get into the issues of Germany's fairly terrible economic troubles. You get into the issue of hate and antisemitism. And much like a cult, you see how a country, under heavy pressure both physically, mentally, socially and economically, could much more easily be manipulated by another force. In the end, I can look at this and while I don't accept it as good and I think the reason behind it is flawed, I can at least see reason of some sort behind it. It doesn't look like an act of randomness. |
|
|
|
| Dankness Lava | May 1 2017, 12:01 AM Post #9 |
|
Dankness Forever
|
You're a smart man. |
|
| |
|
|
|
| Goddess Ultimecia | May 1 2017, 01:30 AM Post #10 |
 
|
It depends entirely on what it is that you're not "accepting" of. If it's something that doesn't harm anyone, then I think at the very least that you should just not give a s*** and go on with your day. Probably the easiest solution honestly. |
 NinjaSushi Colouring
| |
|
|
|
| Dankness Lava | May 1 2017, 02:45 AM Post #11 |
|
Dankness Forever
|
When I think more about this I find it a toxic way of thinking because what is classified as hurt can differ from person to person. Not just hurting the indivual who disagrees, but the one making the choices. The one who disagrees can see the choice potentially hurting the choice-maker. It really depends on how he goes about the situation though. |
|
| |
|
|
|
| EMIYA | May 1 2017, 03:23 AM Post #12 |
|
"I am the bone of my sword."
|
Well until we learn what that choice is, who knows. But in most cases, the only reason people don't understand something is a lack of knowledge. If you think it is potentially hurtful to the other person, speak up.
Here's the main question and in the end, its fair if you don't understand the way something works the first time. It's almost natural not to understand something new the first time. In the end, accepting and understanding are two different things. Acceptance is a choice you have to make on your own, understanding is knowledge that you have to gain. Whatever the issue is, learn about it. See if anyone else has this ideology and what maybe some of their reasons behind it. As I said before, you don't have to accept it as good, but the knowledge gives you understanding. The crux of the problem seems to be that he can't logically comprehend the action, whatever that may be. I can say the same to myself about a lot of things. But in perfect fairness, knowledge again. One of the reasons I brought up "cults" was because I had to do a report on them a few years ago. Had I not done a little research into them, I would've just be confused on them and assumed most people in them were brain damaged. I would've assumed they were illogical. I would have said the same thing about religion. As an Agnostic, I would've been like...why do you follow something that is clearly flawed? Why are you so accepting of something that I myself find illogical. But you do a little research, read a few books and you start seeing how it may not necessarily be about the deity or the cult but something else that just happens to be expressed within the same topic. |
|
|
|
| Copy_Ninja | May 1 2017, 03:35 AM Post #13 |
Novacane for the pain
|
It's a hard one but it's all in the way you act towards them I guess. If you do your best to understand, look in to whatever it is to get a better grasp on it and privately feel that you can't 'accept' whatever it is then that's one thing. It's if you then start acting on that where I think lines are crossed. If you start treating the person differently based on this or are acting in a way to make them feel bad about themselves, after they've placed trust in you by divulging whatever it is, that's pretty s***ty. I depends whatever the thing is though. If someone came out and said they were openly racist (to take a kinda flagrant example) then yeah, you don't need to be accepting of that. But if it's something that doesn't effect anyone other than the person involved and it doesn't effect them in a negative way then I think people have a responsibility to accept or at least feign acceptance if you can't. Although if you can't accept something about someone, I think that it is a sign to undergo introspection and maybe think about why you can't accept it? Just a thought. Edited by Copy_Ninja, May 1 2017, 03:37 AM.
|
 We'll never be those kids again
| |
|
|
|
| Sam | May 1 2017, 08:56 AM Post #14 |
It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash.
|
Too non-specific really. Vilified? No. But, honestly, you are just letting personal bias and selfishness get in the way of someone else's happiness if you can't accept it yourself. That's on you, and you have some soul searching to do. As long as they aren't harming anyone else, that's on you. But, like you said, sometimes accepting things takes time. So, wait and see. But this is a really vague topic. |
|
WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 | |
|
|
|
| * Mitas | May 1 2017, 09:13 AM Post #15 |
|
It truly was a Shawshank redemption
|
I was actually worried that it would be really easy to get because there are only a few things that it could have been. But if it feels too vague then I guess there isn't harm in saying what it is. The family member came out as transgender. Now like I said, I may not understand it, but I am totally accepting of it. I know people who are transgender and I would never treat them any differently. However, in the case of the family member, I feel like I am going to find it extremely hard to call them by their preferred name especially, and also their preferred pronoun and family member label. That's really the main thing I'm worried I won't be able to adapt to. I still would not treat them any differently, but if I'm not able to do the aforementioned things, then that will be seen as bad and treating them differently, even though it's an extremely big change in my way of thinking. |
|
"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
|
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Deep Discussion · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
 4:58 PM Jul 13
|
Theme Designed by McKee91
Powered by ZetaBoards Premium · Privacy Policy