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| Conflict | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 26 2016, 05:24 PM (694 Views) | |
| Wolf | Aug 26 2016, 05:24 PM Post #1 |
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I used to view conflict as no big deal. In many points in my life, on here and in day to day life, conflict has been nothing new to me. Whether it's arguments, fights, or just a general disagreement, it seems that those past altercations had some sort of conflict in them. A couple years ago, I would of said that conflict is no big deal and that people should just get used to it. Now that I'm a little older and wiser, I can say that conflict is something that brings people down in many ways. Not just for who was involved but, for who started it as well. I'm not a pacifist by any means but, I truly do believe that there's no need for conflict in life. It's easy to fight with someone. Whats difficult is to walk away from it and try to find a better solution to the problem. So many people get caught up in the arguing that they don't realize how unhealthy it is. What I'm asking all of you is, how do you view conflict and what would be a way to avoid it? I'm doing my best to not be involved in it anymore and would like to know better ways to avoid and end conflicts. |
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Aug 26 2016, 05:32 PM Post #2 |
What will you do when you get old?
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It's honestly not that difficult to walk away from conflict on a personal level. It's when the conflict starts scaling to your community, state, country, or worldwide that it becomes difficult to just walk away from. There's no real way to avoid conflict, it'll pop up wherever you go and your first option should just be to leave it before it kicks in to full swing, but sometimes it's for the best that you enter a conflict. Say you see some woman struggling to fight off someone who is trying to rape her. They're in a interpersonal conflict. Are you going to walk away and allow her to be raped, are you going to sit there and watch her be raped, or are you going to intervene? It's not your business, but it'd be the right thing to do to stop the potential rapist from raping her. |
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| * Mitas | Aug 26 2016, 05:36 PM Post #3 |
It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I don't enjoy conflict. I tend to get very anxious whenever conflict arises, even when it's on here. Plus, I just don't like being angry, or mean, or aggressive, it's just not in my nature. So I try to stay away from it as much as I can. That isn't to say that I won't give my opinion or stand up for myself or others. I will do those things, but I try to remove myself from the situation when possible and try to make things right afterwards. |
 "Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| Wolf | Aug 26 2016, 05:42 PM Post #4 |
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@JarJar I didn't so much mean that kind of conflict, more just personal. If I even saw a man yelling at a woman, id probably tell him to cut it out. There's certain times where it is necessary to stop something even worse from happening. @Mitas I respect the fact that you do try to avoid it. Even more so that you can state and opinion without having the thoughts of starting something. Has that been something you had to teach yourself or does it just come natural? |
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Aug 26 2016, 05:45 PM Post #5 |
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What will you do when you get old?
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I was just trying to say that conflict isn't just arguments and name calling on the internet. As for telling the guy to cut it out for yelling at a woman, that's a little unfair to the guy. What if the woman cheated on the guy or stole something from him? Then she'd be deserving of being yelled at. I used the example of a woman being raped because it's a little more clear cut than a yelling match.
Edited by Helvius Pertinax Augustus, Aug 26 2016, 05:45 PM.
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| * Mitas | Aug 26 2016, 05:51 PM Post #6 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I think it's just a natural thing. Like I said, I get very anxious when conflict arises, so it's probably something my mind has trained myself to avoid, but I also just think it's not in my nature to do so. When I was growing up in my teens, my household was pretty conflict-ridden. My mum is quick to anger (no hitting, just shouting and arguments), and my sisters are both similar, so it was hard for me to be as calm as I am now. There were a lot of arguments growing up, but as soon as I left home I realised the only people I argued with was my mum and my sisters. Moving out allowed me to have better relationships with all three of them (honestly can't remember the last real argument I had with any of them), and become more of the person I wanted to be where conflict is concerned. |
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| Wolf | Aug 26 2016, 05:51 PM Post #7 |
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I see where you're coming from. Granted yes if she cheated then she deserves it. If it's just some a***** yelling at his girl though, that's a bit different. I do understand your point though. |
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| + Pelador | Aug 26 2016, 06:09 PM Post #8 |
Crazy Awesome Legend
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I avoid it at all costs. I really don't enjoy arguing. |
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| Ding | Aug 26 2016, 06:16 PM Post #9 |
 
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Conflict and turmoil may be destructive in the short term; however, the long term often provides powerful positive effects. I find that it spurs personal developments or causes us to make positive changes in our life. |
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| Wolf | Aug 26 2016, 06:20 PM Post #10 |
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That makes sense. Almost like a learning from your mistake type deal right? I think that sometimes in relationships, whether it's friend or significant other, it's good to have an argument every once in awhile. Not anything hurtful though. That's when it becomes a problem. |
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| Buuberries | Aug 26 2016, 06:39 PM Post #11 |
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I had to do a short presentation on conflict a few months ago for an interview. Very basic notes I made: Conflict: an expressed struggle or process based on perceived (negative) influence/interference regarding something one cares about/a goal trying to be achieved. People interact in the workplace, so sources of conflict may include:
In short, people have different goals, values, ideologies, skills, attitudes. These differences contribute to the team’s overall strength; however, they may also lead to conflict. Based on personality, there may be a power struggle in regards to influencing the outcome or something. How to manage? Set a goal: take the intergrationist view of conflict, as opposed to the traditional view that conflict is only negative, in order to make every conflict functional rather than dysfunctional. The pros of this are: 1. More constructive 2. Information is shared and ideas between participants so there are less differences and assumptions 3. Encourages growth and development from both parties 4. Fosters more trust between parties The dual concern model posits there are different ways to manage conflict based on different negotiation styles. One is not necessarily better than the others, but should be tailored depending on situation since all have pros and cons. edit: these are based on workplace conflict, but they pretty much apply to conflict outside of work as well. also i can't find the source where i nicked these from cuz i mostly just paraphrased what i could. they were basically in line w/ my own beliefs at the time but i was trying to find theories and s*** to support what i wanted to say. Edited by Buuberries, Aug 26 2016, 06:46 PM.
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| Wolf | Aug 26 2016, 06:45 PM Post #12 |
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I would agree Buubers. Conflict of interests is a natural part of human life. Not everyone will agree one everything. What we do when that conflict arises is the important part. Adding more fuel to the flame is never a good thing. |
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Aug 26 2016, 06:49 PM Post #13 |
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Constant conflict can really wear on you mentally. On the internet, conflict isn't something that I really care about because it doesn't affect me the same way. I mean, what exactly counts as conflict on the internet anyway? In personal relationships, constant conflict can be emotionally devastating. I've been in two relationships filled with arguments and animosity, and it was extremely draining. It led to me having a lot more panic attacks than I normally would and, in my first relationship, depression. I've also dealt with conflict in a friendship, and it just wasn't healthy. If you're constantly fighting with someone, it's best to get out ASAP, however much you may love or care for this person. I promise you that a relationship like that won't last forever. |
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| + Emmeth | Aug 26 2016, 06:49 PM Post #14 |
I ♥ Yoeri
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Conflict is necessary to learn as a human-being. It's necessary to deal with conflict in the right way and not brush it aside for another day. If you live a life without conflict, you haven't lived. Honestly, this is how I feel about it. I wouldn't be the mature and level-headed person I am today if I hadn't learned how to deal with conflict and faced them head-on. |
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| Wolf | Aug 26 2016, 06:56 PM Post #15 |
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@OFG conflict on the Internet would be being attacked or being the attacker on someone. Cyber bullying, quarrels with people on a site/game/etc. that you frequently visit. Obviously not as bad as real life conflict but, it can have serious effects on people. I full heartedly agree with your stance on the relationships. My last one lasted for 5 years and half of that time was spent fighting. It was a very toxic relationship towards the end and it was much better for both of us when it was finally ended. @Emme I do think you can use it as a growing expierience as well but, too much of it can have lasting effects on the person. That's kind where I'm at now. I understand it's something you will see in your life but, that doesn't mean you have to be a part of it. Contributing to the conflict in a positive manner could help both sides fighting. |
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