Step Dads vs Deadbeat Dads

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Step Dads vs Deadbeat Dads
Tweet Topic Started: Aug 24 2016, 05:14 PM (243 Views)
DanielSan	Aug 24 2016, 05:14 PM Post #1
Posts: 1,536 Group: Donator Member #5,730 Joined: February 14, 2011	To make clear this isn't about step dads vs. biological dads that do their job. We're talking about the deadbeat dads who get their parental rights terminated or can always have them terminated if the mother so wishes due to past failures. My question is how you view situations where after several years the deadbeat dad returns and wants to be apart of the child's life? Blended families being more common now than 30 years ago, it's a serious question I'm sure most here have at least some experience in answering. I was fortunate to have an active father but many of my friends had falling out with theirs. Worst cases are when the deadbeat shows up to mooch off their child's success.



* Mitas	Aug 24 2016, 05:22 PM Post #2
It truly was a Shawshank redemption Posts: 12,129 Group: Retired Staff Member #2,993 Joined: December 16, 2007 Gender Male Favourite Anime DBZ What Browser do you use? Google Chrome Favourite Manga DBZ, Full Metal Alchemist	It's all up to the child involved (or adult, if it's later in life). If they are willing to forgive the father (or mother) and welcome them back into their lives, that's all that matters. Other family members may not be OK with it, and they may be justified in feeling that way depending on what actually happened, but at the end of the day it's not their choice. They just have to support the child involved and be ready in case things don't go the way they hope. If you're talking about whether blood/biological relations mean more than non-blood/biological relations, then no, I don't believe that personally. Blood means nothing to me. Family are the ones who are there for you, not the ones who are related to you. My family history is very complicated with a lot of half- this, step-that, non-biological relative who I call a biological name e.g. cousin, aunt, uncle etc. I see these people as my family, even if that isn't biological. On the flip side, I have blood relations who've never shown an interest in me. So yeah, my opinion is blood means nada without any love and support behind it.
	"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is."


SpeedoTrunks	Aug 24 2016, 05:30 PM Post #3
Posts: 908 Group: Member Member #9,238 Joined: March 22, 2013 Gender Not Specified	Its the child's decision, ultimately, although with input from the mother/whatever also. Its difficult as some times, its not always "cut and dry" in terms of why people don't see their kids. An example is, my father is great, a little unconventional but has gone out of his way to take care of me, since I was born 28 years ago. He and my mum split up when I was very young, but he was great the whole time. Paid the support/looked after me/taught me about a lot of things, etc etc. He's still a bag of fun, an even hangs out with my daughter from time to time as well. On the flip side, when I was 16, my dad met another lady, and after a few years had another kid together. My half sister. A few more years later, and they broke up, and it was very nasty. He's tried everything to see her, including going to court, but due to some ideas that have presented to her now 8 year old mind, she personally decided (and even spoke in court) she didn't want to see him, "because he's a bad man". Which is so far from the truth its unreal, but that's the way its worked out. Generally, as long as everybody involved has all the information, and is prepared to give somebody a chance to prove them right/wrong/whatever, I'm all for it.



+ Steve	Aug 25 2016, 01:11 AM Post #4
Greetings. I will be your waifu this season. Posts: 19,471 Group: Legend Member #5,710 Joined: February 7, 2011 Gender Male Country United Kingdom Favourite Anime Hunter x Hunter(2011) What Browser do you use? Mozilla Firefox Favourite Manga Berserk all day erry day	I feel like your blood should have no bearing on what is or isn't acceptable for you to do as a father. If you disappear for 30 years for selfish reasons and then come back you don't deserve to be met with open arms just because you have/had working testicles and produced a child, that's meaningless. On a personal level if they're not a complete asshole I feel they deserve a chance but they don't deserve any legal rights or anything like that. Like if we were in older times right now and I proposed to my girlfriend and her father, who she has never met, showed up out of nowhere to say I'm not allowed he'd be getting a swift punch to the face. While I bear no ill will towards my biological father, my step father is my dad. Though I'm very technical about who I call what for all intensive purposes he is my father. He's the one that's been here most of my life as a dependable father figure. I don't get why people would think otherwise. It's as dumb as a monarchy, royal blood doesn't make someone a leader their achievements and choices do. If a man that didn't do anything to create you spends years raising you despite that, that's your dad.
	Definitely not a succubus, fear not


DanielSan	Aug 25 2016, 06:33 PM Post #5
Posts: 1,536 Group: Donator Member #5,730 Joined: February 14, 2011	Yeah this was just something on my mind I guess. Something a lot of my friends for some reason are having trouble with at the same time.



Sam	Aug 25 2016, 06:55 PM Post #6
It takes a mere second for treasure to turn to trash. Posts: 24,391 Group: Community Admin Member #415 Joined: April 21, 2005 Gender Male Country United States Favourite Anime Dragonball/Z/Super, Hellsing Ultimate, Naruto/Shippuden, Death Note, Hunter x Hunter, FMA:B What Browser do you use? Mozilla Firefox Favourite Manga Dragonball/Z/Super, Naruto/Shippuden, One Piece, Hellsing, Death Note	I'm not sure if I'm answering this question right. Very tired I can't compare the two because my biological father always blames my mother for every single thing wrong in his and my life. Even when he is putting her food she gave him into his cupboards. In front of his guests. He didn't pay child support and stopped seeing me after I was 8 or 9 years old. He's a drug addict and I had to learn to come to terms with that. I don't mind smoking marijuana with him, but, he will snort an entire 900mg prescription's worth of oxycodone in three or four days and then I have to babysit him while he is dope sick. He does it right in front of me. Lately though, he disgusts me even more. I won't go into details. I have tried a lot throughout my life to reconnect with my father but he always repeatedly burns bridges. My stepfather was a raging meth addict that used to yell and scream on drug binges until 3 or 4 AM and made me miss a ton of school because of how little sleep I got. He was quite abusive to my brother too because one of my older brothers always stood up against him. He lived off of us for almost twenty years and was always promising to get a job. When he would, he would work just enough to then collect unemployment and shoot up drugs in the bathroom or shed.
	WoW Legion Ending - Thank you Darker for making this into one, big incredible gif! <3 Brother! Your crusade IS OVER!! NO...!!


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